Very attracted to my psychiatrist

Hi,
I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about 4 sessions and I feel extremely drawn to him... I've read about transference and that's probably what I'm going through but it feels like I'm falling in love with him. And in a way I feel that he feels the same way and I know that is crazy. He is happily married... I've googled him several times. I've never emailed him or called him on his cellphone because I don't want him to freak out. I also have a lot of issues about being rejected.
I have sexual fantasies about him... he is my age and very cute.

Is this normal??? I'm not sure if I should mention this to him. I think he is a great therapist.

Ok first off, this is very normal. You are correct, it is most likely transference. I went through the same exact thing, except I'm a guy, and T was a woman. It started off as just a harmless attraction to her, then it developed into full-blown feelings for her. I never told her, and it is still eating away at me. I highly recommend you talk to your T about it. If he is a good T then he should know how to handle this. If you don't talk about these feelings they will get more intense and most likely get in the way of your therapy.

Yes, it's normal, as I'm sure you've discovered if you've read the other threads in this forum. All too normal. These feelings can be used in therapy if the T is willing and skilled enough. You'll probably need to tell him at some point, but in the meantime please realize you're not alone. You've just joined the Transference Club! With members worldwide, agonizing over feelings for our T's. Welcome!!

Thank you both for your replies! I know I have to bring it up at some point and I will... it just feels so weird. It's like I'm in love with him and I feel as if he feels the same way which I know is really desperate on my part.

But I will discuss this with him.

Thanks!

I also welcome you to the club of transference, or should I say" welcome to our misery!"

I'm a member of the "transference club" too, I guess. I'm glad, barbarella, that you're going to discuss your feelings with your T. That's the best way to go; be honest and your T will help you. Good luck!

sounds pretty normal to me. i'm a lesbian and i still had the most vivid sex dream about my male therapist lol.

....as for me it's my orthopaedic surgeon...a hunk!!

Absolutly bring it up at a session. When I told my T what I felt it felt so right. More recently I inadvertantly found out my T had divorced two years ago. The love-stuck thoughts started over again. People have posted on this site words to the effect of "enjoy the ride" good advice. take care

Hi,
I went to see him this week and was planning on telling him about it but I couldn't say anything about it.

The thing is I have a lot of issues with rejection and anytime someone starts to get to know me or like me I freak out and start acting aloof, sometimes even rude. I've talked to him about this but he's never seen me act this way because I find it very easy to open up to him (which is probably why I'm so attracted to him).

For some reason I keep thinking he is attracted to me. So finally I go into his office and he usually wears a doctors coat and this time he didn't. He was impeccably dressed, he was wearing a cologne (he never smelled like cologne before) and the furniture in his office was rearranged.
As I sat down to start talking to him I felt very anxious. I couldn't tell him anything personal, all I could talk about was really superficial stuff. And I could feel my face was red. It was so embarrassing. He knew something was up and he started writing in his pad, I felt awful. And I don't know if he thought I was turned on or what but then his eyes were on me, very intense and he looked me up and down. And I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't want it, but at the same time I know I'm reacting the way I usually do...

Also, I think he's been checking out my website (I never gave him the link, he must have googled me) because I was talking to him about this cartoon that I made a website for and asked him if he had ever seen the cartoon and he got very nervous. Also, in the 90's I went to therapy with his father, who is also a great therapist, and at that time I had a huge crush on a guy. Well, during this therapy session I'm trying to go out more and I was thinking of going out with that guy (we are very good friends now, but not romantic) he asked me if I felt comfortable talking to him and when I said yes he got very uncomfortable and couldn't look at me.

I'm very confused. I like him a lot. Other than the cologne and stuff he's a great therapist. He does ask great questions and never tells me how I should feel, he let's me work through it... I just worry that he likes me as much as I like him and I don't know how we will be able to control ourselves! I want him so bad... I think he wants me too...
I'll talk to him about my transference the next time I see him. But I think I wont mention how I think he feels this way about me... I think that might be really weird.

How did you talk to your therapist about it? I need some examples on how to start the conversation.

Thanks for all your help!

Been in love with my therapist (I don't ever call it transference.....feelings are feelings) for over 7 years, after over a year, I told him of my feelings (scared to death) he handled it with gentleness and sensitivity ...I think T's usually (after all, they are trained to pick up nuances of feelings, etc).....know how you might be feeling about them.

Unfortunately, my t has feelings for me and he fights them. We are close in age and so much alike it is unbelievable. THere isn't any subject he won't discuss. In essence, we are having a personal relationship.

I guess you could begin with.....there is something I would like to say, but am feeling very nervous/uncomfortable, etc, etc...and just say what you are feeling.

He sits next to me on the couch and I always bring him dinner; I used to bring in candles and flowers.....he plays music, as we both love it; I could write a book on what has transpired after almost 8 years.

He loves to flirt and so do I; I have somehow found a way to live without someone I love; it is excruciating, but it is what it is.

There was one night a few years ago, where he crossed the line (not sex) . There are really no specific ways to bring it up; you will just have to begin the conversation; keep it brief, etc, and then see what he says. If he is well-trained, he won't be surprised and you can have a good dialogue.

Nicole

i think you're actually hoping something is going to happen with this man. do you want to tell him because you want to deal with the transference or because you really hope he'll say "oh barbarella i fancy you too, let's go out!" i'm sorry to say it won't happen. your psychiatrist will reject your advances if you make them. i think you're reading into things a lot. how do you know he wasn't dressed up and wearing cologne because he had a lunch date?

No it's not that... I'm completely aware that we can't have a relationship. He's married and with kids and I do want to deal with my transference.
What worries me is that he feels the same way and then something happens. I don't feel like I could say no if he made a pass...

Anyway, I just brought it up because I want to be more relaxed the next time I see him so that we can start talking about this. I do think this is important to my therapy.

By the way, good point... it could be he had plans that night.

Wait, so your T actually told you he has feelings for you??

Rolan: Yes....one of the many comments...."you are in my heart and in my head"

You should find someone outside of a counseling office who can truly love you and be available to ypu all the time. I don't think that counselour is being ethical... is he married? He's probably getting his cake and eating it too. I think this is wrong. He's got the upper hand.