[greensky602]

I've done a lot of bad in my lives. I don't think forgiveness is immediate, and I keep waiting, and in the mean time try to be a better person with a good heart and good deeds, however, I have resentment in my heart. Where ever I go, I carry with me this resentment, guilt, and insecurity, and I feel so bad. I don't know when forgiveness will be truly granted to me, or if it is even possible to forgive such deeds and the dark heart I carried in those lives. I'm inherently very selfish I think, or maybe I have been molded by environmental and circumstantial situations. I am dark. I keep trying, but because my heart is impure, I feel superficial. I feel my deeds have been so horrendous that no matter what I do I get no where, not forgiven and still the same. I feel bad. I want to be different.

[Emotionally Dead]

God put us here with our own minds, to make our own decisions. We have our own conscience, but some people aren't in tune with it and some people are. I have done things in the past I am not proud of. I still do things I am not proud of. I have felt just like you before, and now I am more at ease. I know that what I do is from my heart and I always try to live through my heart, and do what I feel is right. Sometimes I may do things that aren't necessarily in the Bible, or that other people would look down on. Or say things that people would look down upon, but I know that I am doing what I believe is right and I am doing what my heart is telling me to. As long as you do that, you will be fine. I do think that God will forgive almost all of us for our sins. I think that there are evil on this earth but I sure don't think you are and I think that it is only a select few. I am not evil, and I do not worry as much about God not forgiving me for my sins. We ALL are sinners, and God knows that and I believe he accepts it. It doesn't mean he won't give us a talking when we get up there, but I surely don't think that it will keep us from going there.

Hope I have eased your mind a bit.

[SeptemberMorn]

Greensky, have you forgiven yourself? I think that's a good place to start.

God will forgive you if you ask him to. You need to be truly sorry for what you've done and then don't keep doing it. That's called Repentance.

God always forgives. It is called grace.

Which god are you talking about, greensky602? If you believe in an institutional god, what does the dogma of that religion say about forgiveness?

[venusss]

I believe that in the end it matters if you done more good than bad. You can make up for your mistakes/sins... whatever. The willingness itself to do so counts a lot, I believe.

[kykid]

Originally Posted by greensky602

I've done a lot of bad in my lives. I don't think forgiveness is immediate, and I keep waiting, and in the mean time try to be a better person with a good heart and good deeds, however, I have resentment in my heart. Where ever I go, I carry with me this resentment, guilt, and insecurity, and I feel so bad. I don't know when forgiveness will be truly granted to me, or if it is even possible to forgive such deeds and the dark heart I carried in those lives. I'm inherently very selfish I think, or maybe I have been molded by environmental and circumstantial situations. I am dark. I keep trying, but because my heart is impure, I feel superficial. I feel my deeds have been so horrendous that no matter what I do I get no where, not forgiven and still the same. I feel bad. I want to be different.

Keep praying Greensky602 and God will forgive you. But you must forgive yourself as well. This is a lesson that has been hard for me to accept but what grace you will receive when you begin to forgive yourself.

There is only one sin that is unforgivable: blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Everything else under the sun is forgivable. Have faith that God hears your prayers, have faith that God is good and faithful, and accept the forgiveness when it is given by God. Then be sure to forgive yourself and put it all behind you.

I hope this helps. I will keep you in my prayers.

[BPDlasthouse]

I feel like a 'bad' person and guilty much of the time. I am beginning to feel that I am coming out of it however, that I don't need to be punished in some way for the gross mistakes I have made and harm I have caused.

I know that guilt can be dealt with by admitting our mistakes and faults to another person and then going out to the people you have hurt and making amends to them. When I made amends to the people I had harmed my life changed, and I felt an enormous relief. I felt forgiven and the guilt was lifted. I am psyching myself up to do this again, although there is resistance.

Forgiveness of self is possible, it only requires a lot of courage and a little effort on your part. Once you feel forgiven, you will forgive yourself and you will stop feeling a bad person as light will come back into your life.

There are many different religions,and I am no more knowledgeable than any other person about what thought /value system is perfect...but I am of a particular faith,which embraces the idea that as humans we are imperfect,and in my heart of hearts I believe that mistakes are inevitable,and that guilt is purposeless aside from it being the conscience which guides what is/isn't acceptable.I think we are all in a sort of learning loop,and life/fellow human interaction is the teacher.idk how much we are allowed to post on the subject ,but,it is my belief that ....I quote........all have fallen short.....I also believe that not forgiving oneself....ie,guilt...is only useful to guide us on our paths...being bound by it hampers us from moving forward...is useless,futile,and immobilizing.Realizing we are all "sinners" opens the door to us forgiving others and ourselves.Essentially my view is forgiving the self enables us to be free from things which hamper us moving forward and progressing.No one is 'better than'....JMO

[billieJ]

Greensky - you have received some excellent input from above responders, and there is little I can add. The fact that you are remorseful and trying to change counts for MUCH. I, too, have done much bad in my life, but I believe that confessing of sins, forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others is the key to receiving forgiveness. In my belief system, we are forgiven as we forgive others. Examine what resentments you have, as I believe this may be the biggest barrier to your peace of mind. In the end, resentment is useless, as life is short. What happens to us is of relative unimportance. How we respond to these events - that is what counts. Consider the truth in that childhood song, "Row, row, row your boat/Gently down the stream/Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily/life is but a dream." I don't know whether life here is a dream, but it is certainly brief, and what happens here is of practically no importance - only the behavior with which we respond to it counts for anything. In my belief system, forgiveness is granted in response to our forgiveness of others. If you can forgive those people and circumstances which comprise your current resentment, I think you will have traveled a long way toward peace of mind.

[Open Eyes]

Even if we have no particular religous affiliation or guideline to follow, we must at the very least accept the ability to provide not only peace to ourselves but to provide and share it with others.

The fact that you have recognized that you feel remorse or guilt for things that you may have done in your past is a good sign that you are very capable of being and moving forward and being a better, kinder person.

It is those who remain angry and without any remorse that will never find true happiness or even self redemption as they do not have any of it to begin with.

I think that what you do have in your post is the fact that you have a spark and that what you need to do is allow that spark to ignite into a fire that will give you the power to live out the rest of your life being a better person.

It is not the materialistic things that we gain in life that we can count on to explain ourself worth. It is that will to allow the spark to ignite and burn for the rest of our lives. If we can allow that to happen and gain peace within that, we can reach out to others and help them do the same.

If we are in a place of clutter, even within humanity. Well, if we just pick one spot, starting with ourselves and move around in a direction and touch others than it is a way to clear at least one area of clutter.

The people who live rich lives are those that find a way to do this. They do it with whatever fire they achieve and find so much warmth from it.
Those who put out the fire of others never gain and only continuously push away any spark they have within themselves.

We cannot expect to change humanity as a hole by ourselves, whether we choose to record it, observe it, explain it, get angry with it, and separate from it, and even feel ashamed by it. No, that never works.
We can only find happiness in reaching out to the best of our abilities,
not hide in distaste but take pleasure in making a donation where ever we can find one small area of clutter that we can try to improve.

Within all the history of humanity, the human primate, it is those that have chosen to work on small areas of clutter that have made the most progress within mankind. If only we could all just do that, well than, we wouldn't be on our knees, we would be enjoying the fruits of what we have accomplished in a small way leading to a much bigger way, within humanity itself.

Open Eyes

[madisgram]

i was once asked did i think god forgave me. i answered yes. the next question was, if you think god forgives you do you feel you are more powerful than god?...ooops!
resentments are a result of anger. who/what are u angry about? that is the question. one cannot unload a resentment until they rid themselves of the anger.
in your case if you believe in god you know if we are repentant he forgives us. there's no need to second guess what he does do or not do. it's a matter of faith.

[notablackbarbie]

Originally Posted by greensky602

I've done a lot of bad in my lives. I don't think forgiveness is immediate, and I keep waiting, and in the mean time try to be a better person with a good heart and good deeds, however, I have resentment in my heart. Where ever I go, I carry with me this resentment, guilt, and insecurity, and I feel so bad. I don't know when forgiveness will be truly granted to me, or if it is even possible to forgive such deeds and the dark heart I carried in those lives. I'm inherently very selfish I think, or maybe I have been molded by environmental and circumstantial situations. I am dark. I keep trying, but because my heart is impure, I feel superficial. I feel my deeds have been so horrendous that no matter what I do I get no where, not forgiven and still the same. I feel bad. I want to be different.

(((greensky602))) I can relate. I am sorry you are struggling so much.
Thank you everyone else for all the feedback too...

[moth]

I don't see why not... you recognize the things you have done that you feel are 'bad' and you are trying to be a better person and correct your mistakes. What else could someone ask for?

Hope that helped. And please forgive yourself! You are obviously a kind and moral person if you are so concerned with this! Hugs

[trance]

to err is human...to forgive is devine...

[Porcelain_doll_2004]

Sending You Prayers!

I think the answer to the question depends on the authority God obtained from its creator.

((((Everyone))))....May we be at peace on our path.

[Queen of Chaos]

This is a good discussion, I've enjoyed reading the comments. I'd like to share two thoughts that have helped me overcome events in my life that not only hurt me deeply but influenced my growing-up and personality a great deal in a terribly negative way and how I've learned to believe what "forgiveness" really means.

I was raised in a church that believed only its own members had even the remotest chance for eternal salvation. I was always taught (and believed until I knew better) to fear God - it took me a long time to comprehend the love of God and that God loves me and understands who I am and doesn't expect me to be like everyone else. When, through years of soul searching, I knew I couldn't pretend to believe what this church taught and I left, my family disowned me. I should have seen that coming but I didn't and it nearly killed me.

For a long time I carried almost crippling pain and disappointment in my heart. My family eventually realized, after other family members also left this church, that I wasn't mean-spirited, I had done what I believed I had to do. Apologies were made and things were better but I couldn't get past what had happened - I wanted to unconditionally forgive but I couldn't, I felt guilty for things I'd said but didn't know how to forgive myself, I know myself well enough to know that I'm so far from being the person I'd been taught God expected me to be that I almost drifted away from all facets of organized religion thinking faith was basically a futile concept.

THEN, I heard someone say one simple sentence that seemed to make all the difference in the world. The point made was that God forgives us when we ask for forgiveness like when words are erased from a blackboard. Chalk words erased from a blackboard are gone. When we ask God to forgive us, our sins are gone, they don't exist anymore.

The other idea that has helped me is my belief that our heavenly father knows and loves his earthly children the exact same way our earthly fathers should know and love their children, for who they are. I don't believe God expects us all to be the same, believe the same way, or do anything the same way anymore than an earthly father should.

If anything good has come from what I endured growing-up, it has been that as a parent myself, I want my child to find what's right for her and I don't think anything hurtful she could ever do and later apologize for would not deserve being forgiven.

Life is very complicated, isn't it? We all grow-up the product of what we're taught, our successes, our failures, but I believe when the day came that I took the blackboard realization to heart was the day I really learned to forgive myself and truly forgive others.

What a truly valuable post ! Thank you!

We are clearly creatures which falter,some of us very profusely....this is an obvious truth irregardless of ones 'held-views spiritually' [since I have never met anyone who hadn't crossed a line which separated them from the 'ideal' by whichever standards] ,and have the ability to evolve from these falterings.We really aren't allowed to discuss religion here....oddly;considering the topic list of items which are as profusely controversial,....however.....this is a snippet of my thoughts.I enjoy reading all of that which everyone has had to say.Thank you.WO.olf

[sunsetsunrise]

God = source = love. love is all forgiving. It is I who does not forgive myself. I suspect that if I forgave myself on the deepest levels, I would be instantly free. As I write this, I dont expect other people to believe what I believe. I do hope for mutual respect of belief systems. Blessings to you <3

[Night*Blossum]

We are all sinners. It is only by the blood of Jesus Christ that we are sent to Heaven. :]

[EJ711]

All you have to do is confess your perceived sins to God, and ask him to forgive you. PM me if you have questions.

EJ

Originally Posted by greensky602

I've done a lot of bad in my lives. I don't think forgiveness is immediate, and I keep waiting, and in the mean time try to be a better person with a good heart and good deeds, however, I have resentment in my heart. Where ever I go, I carry with me this resentment, guilt, and insecurity, and I feel so bad. I don't know when forgiveness will be truly granted to me, or if it is even possible to forgive such deeds and the dark heart I carried in those lives. I'm inherently very selfish I think, or maybe I have been molded by environmental and circumstantial situations. I am dark. I keep trying, but because my heart is impure, I feel superficial. I feel my deeds have been so horrendous that no matter what I do I get no where, not forgiven and still the same. I feel bad. I want to be different.