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#726
Jul 22, 2015, 06:38 PM
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i am not ****ing happy and i'm totally confused.
about everything. i just want to sleep. i can feel the aggression festering up and bubbling over. i just want to smash something. i'm barely eating and barely sleeping again. if this is mania coming on, it is not the fun kind. all i do is yell lately. i feel like i can't relax and i don't even know what that means, to relax. my head is yelling stuff i can't even decipher. i really want to take a **** ton of drugs and drown everything out and fade off and die. HAHAHA. ahhh. so yeah. i won't do that. that's immature and stupid. i just feel like complete crap and i'm confused as to why as a lot of things are going good in my life. maybe i'm trying to mess everything up cause i'm used to chaos. i don't know. |
 Blue_Bird, jaynedough
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#727
Jul 22, 2015, 07:59 PM
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#728
Jul 24, 2015, 03:39 AM
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My father and sister are coming into town from Missouri later this afternoon. Causing anxiety to peak. I haven't seen my sister for 8 years because she is the wicked witch of the east....She tends to trigger symptoms even via email, so this actual in person meeting will be trying. Everything is poor me with her....
Anyways. Other than the anxiety all is well. I am a bit sad, I am letting go of my CDL-A today for a normal drivers license. Doesn't look like I will ever be a trucker again so no need for the CDL. Hope everyone has a decent weekend!! 
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| Anonymous37803, jaynedough
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#729
Jul 28, 2015, 01:02 PM
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Sorry I haven't been on much lately. I'm back in IP.
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| Blue_Bird, jaynedough
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#730
Jul 28, 2015, 01:05 PM
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| Anonymous51078
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#731
Jul 28, 2015, 01:18 PM
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| Anonymous37803, jaynedough
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#732
Jul 28, 2015, 01:37 PM
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#733
Jul 28, 2015, 02:44 PM
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 TheHours I'm going camping with a person from my group and a bunch of other people on Thursday. It is going to be so much fun being outside all day , having a bonfire, swimming.  I haven't had fun in a long time
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
 Angelique67, jaynedough, Zeus123
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#734
Jul 30, 2015, 12:53 PM
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Thanks Angelique and Blue Bird.
I'm feeling better today than I have been in days. But I have given up. My grandmother and doctors are trying to convince me not too. I don't know what my life will look like now that I have given up. I don't know. I just feel like what's the point? I don't feel like I have anymore fight in me. |
| Anonymous37803, jaynedough
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#735
Jul 30, 2015, 01:01 PM
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#736
Jul 30, 2015, 01:09 PM
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| Angelique67
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#737
Jul 30, 2015, 01:14 PM
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Oh! My OT told me to put that haha! She's actually really cool.
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| Angelique67
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#738
Jul 30, 2015, 01:35 PM
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They're right, just give it some time.
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#739
Jul 30, 2015, 10:08 PM
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I'm very angry on the inside and I have no clue why. I just feel this feeling like I'm going to explode at any moment. It's not a good feeling. I feel somewhat happy also at the same time. Its very confusing. Bert and Ernie (my voices) are telling me to do things not to hurt myself or anyone else, but things that are just off the wall crazy, like take a stroll through walmart in nothing but an adult diaper. I don't know what to think. I just took a seroquel hoping it kicks in and I can get some sleep. I haven't had a good nights sleep in a week.
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| Anonymous37803, jaynedough
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#740
Jul 30, 2015, 10:36 PM
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i'm pretty manic. i realized i need to do some self-inventory and really sit down and think about what i want/need out of life. i have chosen to be alone at this time to do these things to take care of myself. i am going to be donating a lot of my things. i don't like the way my house looks and so i am changing it. i want to be comfortable; not look around and get angry. i'm also getting my carpets cleaned and buying a bunch of crap, like bookshelves and such. HAHAHA mania, right? right. i noticed i'm like hanging on to things because i'm like "oh i can repair this" and it just sits there. so... i'm cutting that out too before i turn into a hoarder. christ. SMILEYS SELLING ALL HER CRAP AND MOVING TO CHINA. hahahaha jkjk. bleh. i'm going to be spending more time with my son as well. autumn is upon us, the leaves will be changing colors soon, time for me to change as well.
hours: dang girl, miss you. hope all is well, pm me anytime!!!!!! |
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#741
Jul 31, 2015, 01:29 PM
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Smiles! I know right! I miss you too...dang I really miss chat. I gotta get going so someone else can use the computer...dang! Oh well Talk soon.
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| Anonymous37803, avlady
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#742
Aug 02, 2015, 12:42 AM
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Been getting physical therapy and being around people is flaring things up alot. I hate this.
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| Anonymous37803, avlady
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#743
Aug 02, 2015, 06:56 PM
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I feel so damn anxious all the time. I need to get out of my own head. Maybe it's because I have too much time on my hands now and spend all of it worrying about everything. I'm trying, I'm really trying to relax. I don't want my meds to have to be adjusted, I am really going to try and work on my anxiety myself but if I really need an adjustment I have an appointment with my pdoc the week after next, I just need to keep that in mind.
Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Anonymous37803, avlady, jaynedough
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#744
Aug 03, 2015, 12:12 PM
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Having a peaceful day
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| avlady
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| Angelique67, jaynedough
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#745
Aug 03, 2015, 07:11 PM
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I've made it through another IP stay and, now I'm back home.
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| Anonymous37803, avlady, jaynedough
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| Angelique67, jaynedough
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#746
Aug 03, 2015, 07:14 PM
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| avlady
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#748
Aug 03, 2015, 09:00 PM
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Welcome back!
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| avlady
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#749
Aug 04, 2015, 01:43 PM
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I think I'm going to go to the Crisis Residential Unit and if they don't have beds, the ER. Still not feeling well. Don't want to hurt myself or others, just can't get the voices to stop screaming. I've tried everything short of doubling up on meds which won't help anyways. I want I really think the Abilify has quit working and all the Seroquel does is knock me out. Does nothing else. Zonegran is for mood and it seems to work I guess. Waiting on my roommate to get home and I will talk with him on what I should do.
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| Anonymous37803, avlady, jaynedough
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#750
Aug 04, 2015, 01:54 PM
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| avlady
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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