[dillpickle1983]

Just got back from a short IP stay. I feel better somewhat. Happy to be home.

[Blue_Bird]

I see my therapist tomorrow and then my doctor the following morning. I need something to help in my panic situations when I'm out in public and get paranoid, hopefully something will help

[Blue_Bird]

I went out to lunch today with my mom. I was able to be relaxed and eat without worrying about people watching me

[CrazyLo]

I am manic. The mania can lead to psychosis within hours sometimes. I have been inpatient 4 times in the last 2 months and I just got out of the hospital 3 days ago and this **** keeps happening to me...I'm taking my meds so it shouldn't be happening. Maybe I really should do shock treatment since nothing else is effin working.

Originally Posted by CrazyLo

I am manic. The mania can lead to psychosis within hours sometimes. I have been inpatient 4 times in the last 2 months and I just got out of the hospital 3 days ago and this **** keeps happening to me...I'm taking my meds so it shouldn't be happening. Maybe I really should do shock treatment since nothing else is effin working.

i replied in another post that you should definitely use electroshock as a LAST resort. i am manic too, and i have been for almost a month. the reason mania leads to psychosis is because a lot of people forget to eat and sleep. you have to make yourself sleep and eat. even if it's a piece of fruit. i do smoothies when i'm like this. and i try to eat at least one "big" meal a day. i snack a lot, i really like trail mixes and things like that. and to make myself sleep, i literally listen to guided meditation on youtube.

idk, it seems to work for me. some days are harder than others (remember i'm not medicated) but i work through it. i haven't been to the hospital in 7 years. i have been in and out since my early teens, over 20 times. (not that any of this matters just trying to share some experience and possibly hope)
do noooottt giiiivvee uppp. it's so much harder when you quit all the meds. i have my own reasons for quitting them all together.
but let me tell you it has been freaking rough to navigate through it all.

also, i have a question. were you stable when you were released? were you manic when you were released?
(if you were manic upon release, then you weren't stabilized and shouldn't have been released. they should have held you a bit longer to make sure your meds stabilized you. unfortunately people's insurance sucks and things like the cost of stay come into factor and people are released before stabilization. sometimes if you aren't a danger to yourself/others, even though you aren't stable you are also released "too soon")

[Tsunamisurfer]

No voices lately. I see my Pdoc in 11 days time to lower my Risperidone some more. My wife isn't keen though. She dreads the likelihood of the wheels coming off again.

My therapist says I shouldn't wear any diagnostic lable. While I see that lables don't adequately describe our experiences, I still feel as though I don't belong anywhere.

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

No voices lately. I see my Pdoc in 11 days time to lower my Risperidone some more. My wife isn't keen though. She dreads the likelihood of the wheels coming off again.

My therapist says I shouldn't wear any diagnostic lable. While I see that lables don't adequately describe our experiences, I still feel as though I don't belong anywhere.

shouldnt wear a label? i dont like labels myself as i am not a crayon. i think the label is pretty generalized so you can find some relief to very general treatment options. youre right, no one person's expirences are the same neither are their symptoms, but i have never heard a therapist suggest not to wear a label. sounds like the therapist is keeping you in denial that you are "mentally ill". you are posting in the schizoaffective forum so you must losely identify with this disorder. i have never felt i belong anywhere either. i am "casebook" schizoaffective even though i dont agree that i am mentally ill.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

...sounds like the therapist is keeping you in denial that you are "mentally ill". you are posting in the schizoaffective forum so you must losely identify with this dis have never felt i belong anywhere either. i am "casebook" schizoaffective even though i dont agree that i am mentally ill.

Thanks smilesandcries. My confusion comes and goes, depending on the severity of my symptoms at the time. At the moment I think it is my T's turn to be in denial. Only a year ago my Pdoc at the time was toying with the SZ lable. Lol

tusnamisurfer, your therapist seems in denial. you seem confused because of her/his denial. like i said, just a general label to figure out how to generally treat you. the stigmas is what has your therapist suggesting you shouldnt have a label. which is sad that a damn therapist is weary of the labels. how can said therapist even help you if she doesnt know the basis of whatever is "wrong". i would personally switch therapists, i like a therapist who wont bs me.

[avlady]

i hope you are ok soon too.

[Blue_Bird]

Getting a new tattoo in about 2 weeks

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Getting a new tattoo in about 2 weeks

What's it going to be, Blue_Bird?

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

What's it going to be, Blue_Bird?

A zombie version of Hello Kitty lol

[CrazyLo]

Feel nauseous. Have been feeling like this every day. Can't sleep ever. Just want to sleep.

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Getting a new tattoo in about 2 weeks

I JUST GOT ONE! i've posted a photo of it on my page. :B

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

I JUST GOT ONE! i've posted a photo of it on my page. :B

Looks awesome!

[jaynedough]

Originally Posted by CrazyLo

Feel nauseous. Have been feeling like this every day. Can't sleep ever. Just want to sleep.

Is the nausea from your meds? I tried a new med last year and was so nauseous that I couldn't sleep.

[CrazyLo]

Originally Posted by jaynedough

Is the nausea from your meds? I tried a new med last year and was so nauseous that I couldn't sleep.

It might be. I just started a new anti-psychotic on Monday. I am nauseous first half of the day...and I take it before bed so it's possible.

[jaynedough]

I hope the nausea gets better. Please call your PDoc if it doesn't.

[CrazyLo]

I am so sad. I get so anxious in the morning, too. Still having morning nausea. No, no way I could be pregnant...Just so sad. Crying a lot. Been curling up under a blanket. Don't want to see anyone or do anything. Just want to sleep.

[CrazyLo]

Depression magically disappeared last night. So weird. I was hearing things last night that I know weren't real. Kept me awake for a long time. So today I'm just very sleepy.

[Zeus123]

I go to my T once a week and recently told him that I want to go biweekly due to my finances but I am ambivalent about my overall improvement. At home, there's a lot of financial stress which is making me flip out. I know I can feel better if I didn't worry as much. My T says I can benefit coming weekly and I would be the exception coming biweekly. I get the sense he doesn't want to agree with me. He asked if I can make other financial adjustments so I don't compromise my mental health. Seriously, I think we cut almost everything. We barely go out anywhere. We don't even save...what is that?? I have 2 kids that I cut their programs and keeping it basic. What else can I do? Are biweekly appointments that rare? I mean, I like my T but I have to prioritize, right?!

[CrazyLo]

Have you emphasized that you simply cannot afford it? My T has asked me several times for me to go to her weekly DBT group in addition to our weekly individual sessions...I had to emphasize a few times that I could not afford it but eventually she understood and doesn't ask anymore.

[Zeus123]

Originally Posted by CrazyLo

Have you emphasized that you simply cannot afford it? My T has asked me several times for me to go to her weekly DBT group in addition to our weekly individual sessions...I had to emphasize a few times that I could not afford it but eventually she understood and doesn't ask anymore.

I guess not enough. I let him talk me out of it yesterday. I know in my heart that it's the right thing to do. It doesn't matter if I'm the exception! At home, I start to resent him for not understanding. It's not easy for me to negotiate this. I'm ashamed that we can't afford it! What else can I do besides changing T which I don't want to do that. Ugh! It stinks!

[jaynedough]

I'm having a hard time not totally shutting down. I can feel myself retreating inwards.

Possible trigger:

I hate myself so much. I don't want to be alive anymore. I'm so tired.