I'm sure I want to die... I'm just not sure how to do it?

it's the overwhelming feeling, and I'm sure nobody cares at this point if I do i.. it's like I'm so sure I want to go ahead and go though with it, the only thing that holds me back is the pain it "could" cause... I feel like like going though with it...I'm not depressed. I'm not I think it's my calling... it is my calling, I just have to go ahead and do it, and not be scared about it... but I am scared about it.
there's nothing... we are all just all blank and we can't stand it I'm just scared because? it's always because I have to do this its all I'm good for

I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes reading this post over and over trying to think of a good way to respond to it and currently I am very worried, for lack of a better word. Why would you think that nobody cares if you left this world? And I'm glad that you are thinking about the pain it could cause but truth be told, the word you should use is "would." I am sure there are many that truly care about you, and while I don't know you IRL I care about what happens to you and please don't say this is all you are good for. There are many things I'm sure you are good for. If you are truly feeling like you may do something please call someone, a family member, a friend, a crisis line. This is not your calling. You were not brought to this world to end it. You are a worthwhile person so please take care of yourself. You are meant to be here.

i lived all my life believing that death was the only solution. spent over 30 years wanting to die. i begged and pleaded for death and tried it a few times. but then that magic wand hit me over the head and my life entirely changed. i have a purpose today.

i never thought people would care. i thought people would understand. i have come to find out that is not true. i would have really hurt people.

i know it is difficult to believe, but we do care here, just as Chaotic said. If you ever need to talk you can PM any community liaison and we would be happy to listen.

if you arent seeing a therapist, please seek one out. they really do help. take care

Please please please don't do it. I promise that things WILL get better. Right now things are awful for you but it's not permanent. You are valued and precious and your life means something.

I was in the exact same place you are 3 months ago, and i went inpatient at a psych unit for 3 months. It changed my life. It was literally groundbreaking. I cam't recommend going inpatient when suicidal enough; is there any way you could ask to be admitted?

Do you see a therapist? A crisis team?

High TF97, I'm currently going through the same thing. It's a hard way to be. This is considered one of the worst months for depression. IDKY.

I know that you've had a hard time with T's lately. Please don't give up on seeing a T and/or PDoc. You are still young; too young to give up. I see that you are interested in math and psychology. You're obviously smart. Please don't give up. I have a feeling that you have alot to offer the world.

giving up is easy.
carrying on hurts.

i care, although i don't know you, i care.
i also can relate to what you are saying, not at this moment, but i have felt this way plenty of times before. you have to care about yourself, because no one else should be expected to care. you're in this life for yourself, not anyone else. you're not here to make anyone happy but yourself - bottom line. killing yourself because you feel like no one cares is never the answer, i don't know how you feel about God or Jesus, but maybe it's time to call on him. cause uh, he didn't make you so you could destroy yourself because you feel like "no one cares". no one is suppose to care, only you. it sounds harsh, but it is a beautiful thing once you realize that you are suppose to love and care for yourself only and you shouldn't expect anyone else to, it is a freedom i can't explain. it is NOT your calling to kill yourself. please re-read your post, because it is worrying. and you sound frustrated, however that isn't a reason to end it all. life is beautiful; go for a walk, take in nature, trip on the beauty of a butterfly, the sound of the wind in the trees, the warmth of the sun. there are many things you can focus on rather than the fact that "no one cares".
remember, i care. even though i don't know you, i care. and ending your life would be a waste. a waste of your time, a waste of your life. you have the power to turn your hopelessness and failures around, it's not over 'til it's over, and it's never in your power to end your life, don't you want to see what else it has in store for you? i love you friend, please hang on.

Hello sweet Angel,

I dropped in on this forum because my mother had schizo affective disorder. I got the bipolar part from her. When I saw your post, I started sobbing. You will never know how precious you are to your family and friends if you take this path..My mother did this and I found her..you don't know the agony and pain you will put everyone through..There are alternatives in life and your storm will pass.