[Shmooey]

Big hugs going out to Angelique having such a hard time. I have been off the forums for a couple of months at least due to SZA and paranoia being really bad. I'm sorry I have not been here to offer you support.

I am going to try to be here more so my friends can have a listening ear with some support. I can't make any promises right now other than to do the best I can, because I am doing bad. My disability is extended through January 15 so at least I don't have to worry about that for a while.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by Shmooey

Big hugs going out to Angelique having such a hard time. I have been off the forums for a couple of months at least due to SZA and paranoia being really bad. I'm sorry I have not been here to offer you support.

I am going to try to be here more so my friends can have a listening ear with some support. I can't make any promises right now other than to do the best I can, because I am doing bad. My disability is extended through January 15 so at least I don't have to worry about that for a while.

Thank you so much for the hugs! I'm not sure if I'll ever go outside again now that I'm petrified of the long staircase here.

I wondered where you went. I'm sorry things have been worse. If there's anything I can do please let me know.
((((((((Shmooey))))))))

[Nix]

Best wishes, Angelique and Shmooey. Sending pleasant thoughts your way today... I was awake the entire night last night and I'm still going strong. Hopefully there won't be any really negative repercussions. Everything seems to go to ruin once my sleep gets interrupted.

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[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by phoenix31

Best wishes, Angelique and Shmooey. Sending pleasant thoughts your way today... I was awake the entire night last night and I'm still going strong. Hopefully there won't be any really negative repercussions. Everything seems to go to ruin once my sleep gets interrupted.

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Thank you phoenix31! I hope you'll be able to sleep without interruptions the next time you try. Sending good thoughts to you, too, and gentle hugs, if that's OK.

I slept straight to noon today. I was up half the night with restless leg. I don't even know what time it was when I finally got to sleep. I don't want to switch meds again. I hardly ever had restless leg on the Abilify. Maybe that's a ray of hope that not every ap will do that to me if I do have to switch meds again. :/

[jaynedough]

I hate how my brain feels. Mental necrosis. It hurts so bad inside. It's all tears and black clouds and yelling and screaming. I need a hug so bad. My body is in really bad shape, too. I no longer have a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

[dillpickle1983]

Feeling pretty good lately. Roommate got his first car ever, incredibly proud of what he has accomplished in the last year. I'm starting to work from home now. I partnered with Arise via Bluegrass Live Operators and will be working a major cable company, inbound customer service and tech support. I start training at home on the 13th. I'm pretty excited. I've haven't had much symptoms lately so hopefully the schizoaffective is letting up a bit.

[Nix]

It's great when you feel more stable, isn't it? That's where I've been lately.

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[jaynedough]

My (literal) bundle of joy. Got him yesterday. Really love him. For some reason, I can feel most emotions with my dogs.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by jaynedough

My (literal) bundle of joy. Got him yesterday. Really love him. For some reason, I can feel most emotions with my dogs.

That's wonderful! So glad for you! He is adorable!

[Atypical_Disaster]

I've been in one hell of a mixed episode, more on the depressed side but I'm still having all the **** that comes with full blown mania like insomnia, racing thoughts, etc. This is ****ing BS.

Originally Posted by jaynedough

My (literal) bundle of joy. Got him yesterday. Really love him. For some reason, I can feel most emotions with my dogs.

That's so great! I understand really being able to relate to animals. I'm glad you got him.

[Shmooey]

Jayne, how precious!! I would love to cuddle up with that little cutie! I'm sure you're having much joy radiating from that beautiful soul.

[ofthevalley]

Originally Posted by jaynedough

My (literal) bundle of joy. Got him yesterday. Really love him. For some reason, I can feel most emotions with my dogs.

My dogs bring out my emotional side as well.

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[dillpickle1983]

So i went and got my monthly shot of Abilify.... things are not right. I was happy and had energy and now I am miserable and zero energy. I was feeling great but now I feel like crap.

[Nix]

Jayne, your new companion is adorable.

Dillpickle, hope you feel sorted out soon...

Today marks exactly one month since I tried to off myself. I am overall doing much better, but still struggle with mildly low mood and anxiety. I really hope my NP calls me back or emails me soon because I ran out of clozapine and I don't want to deal with not having it again.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by escapeartist

Today marks exactly one month since I tried to off myself. I am overall doing much better, but still struggle with mildly low mood and anxiety. I really hope my NP calls me back or emails me soon because I ran out of clozapine and I don't want to deal with not having it again.

I'm glad you're doing better. Stay strong!

[dillpickle1983]

I did it! I passed the final exam for my work at home job. I did it! And today I was contemplating going to the Psych ER because I was freaking out so badly over the test I had suicidal thoughts. So even though today was trying, I still managed to pass the course. Now I start taking live calls on Monday. I'm kinda scared. I partnered through a company called Arise. I'm still on disability, and only plan on doing this part time for now. Just to give me some spending money. I'm a bundle of feelings right now, part of me wished I failed it, so I could spend some time in inpatient and part of me is happy that I passed. I really need my meds adjusted so I guess I will call my PDoc on Monday. Hope everyone is doing well.

[Nix]

I let my clinic talk me into switching to my primary care physician for meds but my anxiety is through the roof and I feel like I made the wrong decision. I don't know if I can call them back and change my mind because they closed my case.

Edited: dill pickle sorry I didn't mention your post! I just realized I was focusing on myself. I wish you the best of luck. Working from home sounds like a great option.

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[mat4sanity]

Checked in, now where's my room? Lol

[Solipschism]

Hello all, new here, just checking in to say hi and wish everyone well.

[Angelique67]

Hello to all the new people here. The roll call thread in the schizophrenia and psychosis forum is a lot more lively. Everyone in the schizoaffective forum is welcome there, too.

I post in both because my pdocs can't agree what to diagnose me with lol.

[Nix]

My Pdoc died of a heart attack. I was sent to my general practitioner. I feel like I made the wrong decision going there, but now the clinic where I used to go has a new Pdoc and a waiting list unless I'm in some kind of urgent crisis. Thankfully, I'm not. My therapist also moved out of town. My GP had bipolar written on my charts, so I mentioned that it was changed to schizoaffective. Now it's listed as schizoaffective, bipolar type, and I didn't correct it. It's supposed to be unspecified type. I only know this because I looked up the diagnosis code on my papers. I had to ask my Pdoc. He never told me. If I ever went back to that clinic I could just tell them I had whatever I wanted and they'd probably put it down. I'm feeling like it doesn't even matter anymore what the label is. I'd like to just erase the whole thing. But I also feel like I have a lack of a safety net now and I worry about the future. The system is a mess.

Apparently I'm in a mixed episode right now so it's a bit hellish. Got a bunch of med changes yesterday so hopefully I'll stabilize soon.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by phoenix31

My Pdoc died of a heart attack. I was sent to my general practitioner. I feel like I made the wrong decision going there, but now the clinic where I used to go has a new Pdoc and a waiting list unless I'm in some kind of urgent crisis. Thankfully, I'm not. My therapist also moved out of town. My GP had bipolar written on my charts, so I mentioned that it was changed to schizoaffective. Now it's listed as schizoaffective, bipolar type, and I didn't correct it. It's supposed to be unspecified type. I only know this because I looked up the diagnosis code on my papers. I had to ask my Pdoc. He never told me. If I ever went back to that clinic I could just tell them I had whatever I wanted and they'd probably put it down. I'm feeling like it doesn't even matter anymore what the label is. I'd like to just erase the whole thing. But I also feel like I have a lack of a safety net now and I worry about the future. The system is a mess.

That's a scary lot of changes. I hope it won't impact you badly. Maybe you're more free to look for other pdocs now?