Roll call

Hello Kurah

Its good to see that you are here and presumably, safe.

brook

Here but irritable. I think I'm having a hard time adjusting to the time change from last weekend.

here I am with my face buried in his chest
burrowing in like a tick, so that I can not be removed

Here and exhausted. Been very productive, and have a month of hard work lined up.
Being off meds has enabled me to feel everything very keenly - mostly a positive thing, but I had a tough time with noise and what sounded like demons screaming in my head for about an hour today. It faded away when the noise around me subsided. I'm so glad it didn't hang around.
Despite the occasional brief hallucinatory experience lately, my concentration and memory have been steadily improving. (Holding thumbs this keeps getting better).

I slept well last night. Not really enough though. I see my psychologist today. I look forward to and dread this every week. He makes me feel vulnerable. Strong emotions scare me, I try to ignore them or medicate them somehow. I have unattached strong emotions, he is trying to attach those strong emotions to their origin. They aren't my fault, they are my burden though.

Talk about real to the extreme. The economy is just fine though. Scared to death. Talking all day long. I am incredibly tired. That feels like when I was in school. Everything is great in the world but God laughs at me. Ha ha ha. Neat. Games are good but starving artists is more like me. Its hard to breathe. My mom is real but I am not. My bird looks cute which that calms me down sometimes looking at his absolute cuteness. I can't go into some thoughts now but my brain is blank sad to say. I am crying at home. Not in public because people will point and laugh. Did you know that my head is empty? Tears run down my itchy face. My hair itches as well. Itchy crawly hair. People like hair as they are obstacles. Sorry I bring down the world around me, I am completely hopeless right now. The weather is bad out here in middle of nowhere years its 1812 but in city years its 2012. Our area is behind the cities 200 years. I mean there are cows roaming the streets and horses used as transportation. Thought broadcasting sucks. I had to take an anti anxiety pill today. I am tired but lately I want to just stay in bed for 24 hours a day. Surgery describes my mom because she is real to the extreme and I am not here. So that is all from me whoever I am.

Hello

I slept well last night, and I feel rested this morning. My psychologist was helpful. I becoming less afraid of him. This is a releif. I believe I've stepped through a door to a better life. The ability to trust was the door, I believe. I needed help to acheive this. I need to work for it also. It was worth the effort.

Life with out rain would cause a great drought...everything would wither and die. Even the beast of the field and the birds of the air would die. With out feeling Physical pain we would not know that our body was stricken with physical illness. We would not be able to prevent a great infection if we did not feel a scratch and then take action to clean it. so it is with our minds...We must go through these times of darkness to know that there is light...We need to have fear to keep us from danger...with out fear we would run out in the street infront of traffic. Our thinking would be that we could do anything, that nothing could bring us harm. Fear of God is the begining of knowledge. Knowing this brings the rain to the land that thirst. It brings fruit to the trees, Food for all. The mind can find peace...It does not mean that these things which are causing me pain will not happen but I will find peace in knowing that it will give me strength to endure.

Here and doing okay.

Here on a beautiful morning. Unfortunately I'm still sleepy. Stayed up too late last night playing sudoku.

slept well enough. I'm going to have a relaxing weekend.

Here and depressed.

Don't know how I can be depressed in the spring - my favorite season!

I think it's the money worries - and possibly a lack of sufficient sleep.

Here just about! very depressed at the moment but hopefully i'll get through!

depession seems to be the theim today... I woke up feeling very down in the mouth...wishing I could once again disapear from th eface of this earth...mainly because once again I opened my mouth

God help me

what a wrech I am

I do seriously wonder if some days there isn't just "something in the air."



I'm sorry you're feeling wretched. I think you're a nice person with great insights. I hope we all get to feeling better soon.

Here and depressed.

still here and still depressed!

I have learned to ease my guilt thesedays. It is like I've been released a bit more from a very bad state of mind. I'm still numb, mostly, but I'm developing the willingness to "feel" emotions again.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg....that will be all.

Hope you're feeling better Costello, and everyone else.

I'm here, not depressed, just fading I think. I'll be alright.

I am feeling inspiered to day... dont quit know why other then Im thankful I have a nother day to be thankful

Here. Fatigued, feeling overwhelmed with anger and frustration at the passive aggression of so many people in my country towards one another. So thankful for the special people in my life that keep be going.

Here. Still depressed.

It helped yesterday to go to work. My mood improved all day and even into the evening. But I wake again this morning depressed.

I'm getting by. I might take a nap later. I went for a long walk today.

Here and exhausted.

Today is my son's 27th b-day. His buddy - who hasn't been in touch in over a year - hit him up on facebook last week. He remembered my son's b-day was coming up and asked if he'd like to get together. I was a bit apprehensive because this friend is an alcoholic who has lost his license due to having had several DUI's. But I'm torn because my son really does need a friend.

So they went out last night. To a bar. My son left here at 9 pm. He said he wasn't going to drink. Then he comes home at 3:30 am. Drunk. Wakes me up. Wants me to get up and talk about how he "screwed up."

To his credit he got a ride home. But of course that means I'm going to have to drive him to his car sometime today. Whenever he wakes up.

I realize this is a one time thing so far. But my fear is it's going to become a regular thing.