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I don't think Kureha needs to keep anything secret from her psychologist.

I agree. Her psychologist has taken really good care of her & is one of the only people she trusts... I wouldn't jeopardize that. She deserves to have someone there for as long as possible. And hopefully her next psychologist is just as trustworthy & competent. : )

My psychologist is ill I can't go do it today because it wasn't planned like this.

My nurse called this morning she spoke to my mam, the doctor is coming to see me tomorrow with a social worker, I don't like social workers and I just saw the other doctor last week. They want my parents there as well, she said because I need to get better, last time something like that happened I got sectioned.

I'm sorry. I can understand why you'd be fearful. I'll be thinking about you today and hoping for the best.

Thanks, I just don't understand why he is coming with someone I don't know, why not just my nurse.

I just saw the other doctor last week with my nurse, why do they want to see me so soon again, they are obviously planning something.

I'm worried about my psychologist as well, she text work - so no one knows if it was her.

So I might not be on much after tomorrow.

I'd be nervous too, hon, but try to take some deep breaths and relax and stay open. Don't start imagining all the bad things that might happen and let the fear get so big it shuts your mind down. The more relaxed you can stay, the easier it will be to cope with whatever comes your way.

Is there something you can distract yourself with for now?

I'm trying not to worry about it, I'm going to be ready to run tomorrow though.

This is all their fault and the nurse.
It's like it's ok for the nurse to try and hurt me, but not the other way around.

I don't think anyone is intending to hurt you. Can you play that video game you mentioned the other day? Would that distract you?

I'll be thinking about you and hoping things work out well.

It's always tough, eh? The best you can do is relax and hope you're so relaxed when they show up, they can't do anything do you. Best wishes xx

I second both Costello & Fishsandwich! I hope the appointment goes well. : )

My mam cancelled because my dad wouldnt be here, so it must not be about hospital

This is good because I should have time to do the other thing before they rearrange it.

Glad you're not going to the hospital.

Hope this mysterious "other thing" you keep talking about isn't dangerous.

Yeah me too, I've decided not to be here when they next come, because it's obviously more important that my parents are, not me.

Well it isn't dangerous for me, it is for the nurse, but not for me.

I hope everything works out for you and whatever plan you have I hope it involves you getting better and being happy.

Yeah it will sort out everything.

Why do people say they are there if you need them, then you ask and its well if I can. What my risk of prison is less important than what?

Holding the camera. Is that really so hard?

Then he asks stupid stuff, I'm not looking for a boyfriend and I'm not a *****. I
Dont do 3rd base.

Sorry your friend is backing out on you, Kureha. Maybe he's decided it's a bad idea? Or has he just got the wrong end of the stick and thought you were wanting to date him?

He says he's up for it - then it gets close and he has something to do instead - I couldn't do it Thursday anyway. Just says what I want to hear - then backs out.

He's not even my type and there isn't enough hygiene and cleaness for me and he lies to much.

Looks like I'll be doing it all my self

not sure what we are talking about
BUTTTT
hygiene was never my strong suit.
astronaut suits were.

My OCD left an impact on close things - like getting close, I'm germaphobic.

Well I emailed the nurse via the web ways - because I love communicating and the autoreply I got - it's went to the right person
I'm back in the office monday - got to love those mondays.

I didn't tell her my plan - that's for my psychologist and if my psychologist never turns up to work - it's an eye for an eye, not a threat, not a little slice - it will be all the way.

Talk to your psychologist first, Kureha.

I just hope she is going to come back - I miss her a lot

I'm guessing she'll come back.

I hope so - I don't want to be too late.

She's so nice and a lot of people think I'm stupid - she doesn't, she thinks I'm wasting my potential and she has always been there.

I'm doing this for more people than just myself.

You're clearly not stupid. I agree with your psychologist. You need to get back to school and get your life back on track. The only time I've seen you moving forward with your life is when you've been taking the Abilify.

Some day, I fear, you'll look back on all this "getting proof" obsession and regret the time you wasted on it. I wish you'd let it go, get back to school, and get that computer career you want.