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Not laughing at you, hun. Hoping you stay safe and out of prison -- hopefully even happy and peaceful!

And in no way was my comment about putting up aimed at you.

Maybe I don't know though.

I'm going to email the nurse again and tell her exactly what I think, I told my psychologist I'd be there for her and I wasn't.

I won't forget that ever and I'll never forgive myself.

I sent it - I told her exactly what she is with a lot of ! to empathise and I suppose a threat.

She'll be looking over her shoulder now - not knowing when it's coming, now she'll know how I've felt, now it's just a race, one chance.

They should have took me instead, I can't change it - I let her down, she didn't do anything, she was super nice and she didn't give up.
She was the only person that totally understood and it's my fault she is gone.

I should have done something sooner

WHY DIDN'T THEY TAKE ME

She helped me so much and I thank her by letting her die.

I dont deserve to live

Yeah I'm done here.

do you like cake?

Maybe she's ok. Anyway you didn't hurt her.

I didn't do anything to save her either and I told her I'd be there and I wasn't.

The nurse hasn't even emailed back - she isn't sorry at all, she doesn't care one bit - it means nothing to her.
It means a lot to me.

No one even cares she is gone, that I've told - NOT 1 PERSON.

I thought my nurse might have called - but I'm obviously not on her list of priorities - I should probably be thankful she talks to me.

I won't ever get over this.

It's half ten on a Monday, hun. They've probably just got into work after the weekend, no time to respond to you yet.

This is more important

It seems not to matter to anyone - DOES EVERYONE THINK SHE DESERVED THIS - DO YOU ALL THINK SHE DESERVED TO DIE????????

ALL SHE EVER DID WAS TRY TO HELP PEOPLE

This is the song I will play when it happens- thinking of sending it to her

I've tried so hard to keep it together, My blood runs cold, I clench my fists, I'll seize the day by its throat and watch it die, The last thing you see will be my face, Remember this face. This ones for old times.(x3) You did this to yourself, I've tried so hard to keep it together, My blood runs cold, I clench my fists I'll seize the day by its throat and watch it die, The last thing you see will be my face. Remember this face. This ones for old times.(x2) This is my counterstrike, right here my call to arms, I've scarred my battle cry, its search and destroy you, ****ing *****. I'm burning down your house now. Hope to God you're in your house now. Burn bright like a star, traitor, The sun smiles on your corpse, traitor. Your cries mean nothing, I'll take my time. I can't leave you breathing. (x3) Oh the stories you'd tell, Maybe you'll learn when the dirt fills your lungs. I am your nightmare, I am the shape in the dark, I am your ending, Ashes to ashes, dust to dust God knows i've had better.

I'm sorry she's dead in your world, hun
Thing is, the rest of the world is probably going to seem really unsympathetic because, well, the way they see it she likely isn't dead.

I don't think your nurse deserves to die. I hope you find out she's well.

But I told you she is dead.

The nurse is going to get what is coming to her - my psychologists memory will live on.

Every beating I get in prison will be the reminder of what I didn't do.

My psychologist didn't believe everything I said - she cared though, yeah past tense.

I'm just going to send loads of emails with the word murderer.

Why does she get to live her life as if nothing has happened.

I sent a few to her - but this is what she has done to the people that DO CARE

nothing can help this ****ing pain in my heart, nothing compares to this pain in my heart. nothing can take away this pain in my heart

Are you all on their side?

I lost the person that cared the only person that didn't talk to me like I'm a retard and you all think I should just suck it up and forget about her, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

Seems like I'm the ONLY one with a heart - I actually care about her.

The only person I want to talk to is the person I can't.

When you all lose someone you care about - I hope everyone laughs at you aswell - see how it feels yeah.

I'm so sorry. I wish I could say something that would help.

I'm not on their side. I don't even know them. I know you, and I'm sad to see you in such distress.

I'm not yet convinced you've lost her. I need more evidence.

I don't think you're a retard.

I have to take exception to that comment, Kureha. You are not the only person here with a heart. This is a community of kind-hearted people. I know you're in distress, but please remember the people here do care.



Everyone here has had losses. I hope no one laughed at them - just as no one is laughing at you right now.

It's just I'm upset.

It's not a natural death or even accidental - it's murder, she is still meant to be here and that's why it's so hard.

And just to point out it is nearly 1:10PM and she hasn't even emailed a sorry.

I know you are. I would be too.

I can understand why you're so worried.

I called the receptionist told her that ***** has mail and that ignoring it will not make what she did go away.

All I got is "who's calling" I told her that does not matter and just tell her.

Where is the concern for my psychologist?

10 emails and she isn't even sorry, NONE of them CARE
WTF is with my nurse, she's a really nice person (about my psychologist) and now she is gone, what she means nothing?

I'm so glad I stopped the meds - I would have missed the message and believed the lies - I can clearly see though and nothing she can say will change that - I want to see her beg for her life like she did to my psychologist.