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  #1  
Old May 15, 2012, 03:05 PM
Anonymous37964
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Honestly, I've had experiences during my life, that have brought me far away from the bible and church. I found that this puts people off. I have no desire to prosthletize anyone to the doctrine of we=I=0. I can't ignore my experiences and observations thus far in life though. I experience Love and pleasure and I am respectful of my elders and veterens. I pay my taxes and I vote. I believe that the sum total of my life will be the nourishment my decaying corpse gives other life. I fail to see this as bad, just true. Thanks for reading, sorry if my beliefs offend anyone. Brook.
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Thanks for this!
costello, Gr3tta

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  #2  
Old May 15, 2012, 03:14 PM
fishsandwich fishsandwich is offline
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Well, I'm religious myself so maybe I'm coming at this from the wrong angle -- but I think most people who are happy have some kind of spiritual beliefs. Or maybe spiritual is not the right word, but they have beliefs about why life happens and what good they can do whilst they live it, and they feel a sense of connection to the world/universe and other people. That doesn't have to come in the form of organized religion.

And incidentally, I'm not offended and I can't imagine any reasonable person who would be offended by what you said. Not believing in a certain religion is your own personal choice.
  #3  
Old May 15, 2012, 08:20 PM
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costello costello is offline
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I'm taking a class this summer on the psychology of happiness. I'll let you know if I learn anything useful. I've been trying to figure out how to be happy since I was a teenager.
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Old May 15, 2012, 08:21 PM
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Thanks for understanding me and responding. I guess I reject the belief, that I feel that some have, that without a firm rod of discipline, in the form of forced beliefs and fears, us ordinary humans will form unruly mobs and hell will ensue. I think ordinary humans aren't as evil as these people seem to believe.
  #5  
Old May 15, 2012, 08:28 PM
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Originally Posted by brookwest View Post
Thanks for understanding me and responding. I guess I reject the belief, that I feel that some have, that without a firm rod of discipline, in the form of forced beliefs and fears, us ordinary humans will form unruly mobs and hell will ensue. I think ordinary humans aren't as evil as these people seem to believe.
Well, my dad was an atheist, and he embodied the meaning of the Good Samaritan. He was very generous in offering help to strangers. I don't think he was happy, though.
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  #6  
Old May 15, 2012, 10:38 PM
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Happiness in your life usually reflects how YOU feel about YOURSELF. Happiness is in the eyes of the person perceiving it, & if you are tainted with self-doubt or issues with low self-worth, it doesn't matter what wonderful things may come your way-- You feel subconsciously damned to not feeling you deserve it. Or not being able to enjoy it as much as you could. And from what I've gathered through the sex addiction discussions & the discussions here, you don't tend to feel very highly of yourself. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!) But... I've found that I have been dealt quite a ****** lot in my life. For some reason, even when I have lost my belief in ANYTHING, I still felt quite content & patient to fight through. And I've met quite a great deal of empowered & fulfilled athiests as well. Sometimes an important sign of personal happiness is being content with not knowing all of the mysteries of the universe: They just are & you will still endure without knowing them personally. You will still be well. : )
  #7  
Old May 15, 2012, 11:47 PM
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A happy nihilist? Sounds like a contradiction. But for one thing, you are free from the burden of man-made rules and myths about the so-called meaning of life. Imagine the burden of expectation you would have placed on you to do things a certain way, or to follow your so-called destiny... You are free from those restraints. No false hopes leading to devastating dissapointments.
"It's only after we have lost everything, that we are free to do anything." -Tyler Durdon. Fight Club is one of the BEST movies of all time depicting a Nihilist of sorts.
Your life doesn't lack meaning, because that "meaning" never existed in the first place. There must be a comfort of sorts in being perfectly rational about your existence, and you are on your way to becoming your true self.

Your life is yours to create. A blank canvas free from rules, religion and everything else.
Nihilism doesn't have to be overly pessimistic and passive. It can be active, which is probably the way Nietzsche envisioned the concept.

Anyway, that's my thought. I hope that helps.

Btw, I'm not a nihilist, at least I don't think I am.
I'm just me.
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costello
  #8  
Old May 16, 2012, 08:56 AM
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It seems to me that even when nothing matters you can still enjoy it while it lasts. Even if it's just destined for rot. Maybe that's something else though.
Thanks for this!
costello
  #9  
Old May 16, 2012, 11:27 AM
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I guess I'm ashamed about not believing completely in the divine daddy in the sky that wants me to live according to his rules as communicated by him to chosen people in history. I wish I could and I try very hard not to diminish this belief. I even go to sunday religious services regurally and am friendly with everyone there. I enjoy attending their services. Still, I think they politley don't believe, somewhere far away, deep inside themselves. I believe that the truth will always be the truth, even if we attempt to disprove it. I highly doubt that God has anything to fear from me. I'm about as important as an ant, I believe anyway. Praise God, nevertheless...God is good and the rest. Respectfully, Brook. The italics and bold are mistakes. Enjoy the day
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  #10  
Old May 16, 2012, 05:04 PM
fishsandwich fishsandwich is offline
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Originally Posted by brookwest View Post
I guess I'm ashamed about not believing completely in the divine daddy in the sky that wants me to live according to his rules as communicated by him to chosen people in history. I wish I could and I try very hard not to diminish this belief.

. . . I even go to sunday religious services regurally and am friendly with everyone there. I enjoy attending their services. Still, I think they politley don't believe, somewhere far away, deep inside themselves.
I like going to church too, we have these fantastic churches over here in Europe and an amazing choral service tradition. I listen to them here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...ancras_Church/

And honestly, I don't think there are any people who believe all of the Bible (or whatever religion) all of the time. There's a lot of stuff in religion that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and a lot of stuff that is just plain wrong.
Have you heard of John Newman? He spent his whole career trying to make a rational, empiricist argument for the existence of God. I don't think he succeeded, but a lot of people (Catholics) think he did. Maybe you could check out his work if you want some other perspective.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Henry_Newman
A lot of the time, I don't believe it. And I don't think it makes one a hypocrite not to believe but to still attend church. There are other nice things there, like the community and pancakes/Sunday brunches .
  #11  
Old May 17, 2012, 02:27 PM
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Thought about you this morning, brook. Couldn't sleep so started reading the Dalai Lama's Ethics for the New Millennium. He talks about the universal human quest to enjoy happiness and avoid suffering. He says that happiness requires some kind of ethical structure which has traditionally been given by religion, but that religion isn't necessary. It's only necessary to be a good person.

I've finished the first chapter. I think I'll finish the book.

Here's the blurb at amazon:

Quote:
In a difficult, uncertain time, it takes a person of great courage, such as the Dalai Lama, to give us hope. Regardless of the violence and cynicism we see on television and read about in the news, there is an argument to be made for basic human goodness. The number of people who spend their lives engaged in violence and dishonesty is tiny compared to the vast majority who would wish others only well. According to the Dalai Lama, our survival has depended and will continue to depend on our basic goodness. Ethics for the New Millennium presents a moral system based on universal rather than religious principles. Its ultimate goal is happiness for every individual, irrespective of religious beliefs. Though the Dalai Lama is himself a practicing Buddhist, his apporach to life and the moral compass that guides him can lead each and every one of us—Muslim, Christian, Jew, Buddhist, or atheist—to a happier, more fulfilling life.
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Thanks for this!
fishsandwich
  #12  
Old May 17, 2012, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by insideout View Post
A happy nihilist? Sounds like a contradiction. But for one thing, you are free from the burden of man-made rules and myths about the so-called meaning of life. Imagine the burden of expectation you would have placed on you to do things a certain way, or to follow your so-called destiny... You are free from those restraints. No false hopes leading to devastating dissapointments.
"It's only after we have lost everything, that we are free to do anything." -Tyler Durdon. Fight Club is one of the BEST movies of all time depicting a Nihilist of sorts.
Your life doesn't lack meaning, because that "meaning" never existed in the first place. There must be a comfort of sorts in being perfectly rational about your existence, and you are on your way to becoming your true self.

Your life is yours to create. A blank canvas free from rules, religion and everything else.
Nihilism doesn't have to be overly pessimistic and passive. It can be active, which is probably the way Nietzsche envisioned the concept.

Anyway, that's my thought. I hope that helps.

Btw, I'm not a nihilist, at least I don't think I am.
I'm just me.
oversimplified, i think it's all about being in the moment. and creating that "flow" However, Not having an awareness and aknowlegement of when you are actually happy discredits the whole happiness equation. A true nihlist will savor his own delights in self-loathing. Having hope prepares our minds for an anticipated moment in the future. Giving hope to others will bring inner peace and i believe this is part of what makes us happy.
And as to the age old question.-- probably antother thread topic) Can money buy your happiness. My reply ... yes, money can buy happiness.
even for the most innocent of nihlists among us. How many of the masses who are suffering from "affluent anxieties" can truly be called nihlists? Not too many i would assert.
Thanks for this!
Gr3tta
  #13  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:06 PM
fishsandwich fishsandwich is offline
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I keep hearing this, that the ratio between income and happiness peaks is £50,000pa (which sounds like a lot to Americans, but because the cost of living is so high it's the equivalent of someone living in the US earning $50k also). Any amount earned over that doesn't correlate with a higher 'happiness', but it does correlate with a higher anxiety about consumption and material goods.
Thanks for this!
insideout
  #14  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:16 PM
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Originally Posted by fishsandwich View Post
I keep hearing this, that the ratio between income and happiness peaks is £50,000pa (which sounds like a lot to Americans, but because the cost of living is so high it's the equivalent of someone living in the US earning $50k also). Any amount earned over that doesn't correlate with a higher 'happiness', but it does correlate with a higher anxiety about consumption and material goods.

fish- your research is right on. (correct) After a certain income ceiling, one's happiness quotient does not increase in proportion to income.
thanks for pointing this out. I have heard ... about money... it helps to reduce the misery.
  #15  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:19 PM
fishsandwich fishsandwich is offline
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I've been reading a lot about this recently, because I do find that moneymakes me happy. But so do other things, and because I'm about to enter a very high-pressure, high-income career, I wanted some kind of benchmark so I don't get swept away with earning tons of money at the expense of my health.
[Fully expecting Costello to sweep by with the whitewhine website again; I do deserve it!]

I read this book, Affluenza by Oliver James:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Affluenza-Ol...s/dp/009190010
It had a few good points on this. For the most part I don't recommend it, most of what he says is introspective ******** and he tends to make bizarre sexist comments.
Thanks for this!
costello
  #16  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by fishsandwich View Post
I keep hearing this, that the ratio between income and happiness peaks is £50,000pa (which sounds like a lot to Americans, but because the cost of living is so high it's the equivalent of someone living in the US earning $50k also). Any amount earned over that doesn't correlate with a higher 'happiness', but it does correlate with a higher anxiety about consumption and material goods.
The Dalai Lama mentions this too, although he seemed to oversimplify to the point of making it sound like poor folk are happier that the rich. (At least that's how it read to me at 2 am.)

I do love reading Buddhist teachers like the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, but sometimes I wonder if they aren't a little out of touch.
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  #17  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:27 PM
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[Fully expecting Costello to sweep by with the whitewhine website again; I do deserve it!]
lol... Sorry about that.
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  #18  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted by costello View Post
The Dalai Lama mentions this too, although he seemed to oversimplify to the point of making it sound like poor folk are happier that the rich. (At least that's how it read to me at 2 am.)
Well, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he said - most religions have that tendency! Protestantism is a bit of an exception.

That number is meant to be an average. Someone with a lot of debt or necessary outgoings (for ex. caring for a disabled child) would be happier with much more money. Some people could be happier with much less. The Dalai Lama probably earns/spends far, far less than £50k per year, but he seems incredibly happy!

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I do love reading Buddhist teachers like the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, but sometimes I wonder if they aren't a little out of touch.
I think it's the definition of monkhood to be out-of-touch. The whole point is to take a step back and reflect.
Also, check out Ajahn Brahm -- he is one of my absolute favourites:

He has dozens of really good talks on youtube; he has also written a few books but I haven't read them.
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Old May 17, 2012, 03:34 PM
fishsandwich fishsandwich is offline
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lol... Sorry about that.
Honestly, complaining about needing a huge hunk of cash to buy outfits that were the pinnacle of style for rich white dudes six hundred years ago really is the whitest of the white whines :P
Just when you're an ex-schizophrenic who had to work two jobs to pay through law school, it feels like a lot of money.
  #20  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:41 PM
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Honestly, complaining about needing a huge hunk of cash to buy outfits that were the pinnacle of style for rich white dudes six hundred years ago really is the whitest of the white whines :P
At least you didn't complain because you can only get $40,000 at a time out of your trust fund and that's not enough to buy shoes. Or you hurt your bottom falling on the steps of your yacht. Or you don't like your maid's assistant. Or claim that doing laundry is worse than the Halocaust.

Quote:
Just when you're an ex-schizophrenic who had to work two jobs to pay through law school, it feels like a lot of money.
It's a lot of money. I need a new furnace - the cost is which is almost exactly the cost of the bar review course plus application fee. Every time someone asks if I'm going to take the bar, I think, "If I had $3500 lying around, I wouldn't have gone through the last two winters sans furnace."
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  #21  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:46 PM
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It's a lot of money. I need a new furnace - the cost is which is almost exactly the cost of the bar review course plus application fee. Every time someone asks if I'm going to take the bar, I think, "If I had $3500 lying around, I wouldn't have gone through the last two winters sans furnace."
My entire financial plan relies on lasting just six more months until my second six when I can have my own billings, and then raking in all the cash helping rich people not pay taxes.

I feel like this related to the topic of the thread because (1) God's gonna hate me; and, (2) it's pretty much the definition of nihilist!
  #22  
Old May 17, 2012, 03:55 PM
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Well, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he said - most religions have that tendency! Protestantism is a bit of an exception.
I probably misrepresented his point of view. I think he was saying that poor people help each other out more because they have to rely on one another. Better off people can afford not to be so dependent on the kindness of others. That interdependence can be a source of happiness.

When I was in Kano, I was walking in the old city with a Nigerian woman. It started to rain, and she lead me into a doorway to wait for it to end. It was someone's private home! We sat and visited with the people there until the rain stopped then went on our way. Would that happen here? Not a chance! I've heard of at least two stories recently where homeowners shot people who came up onto their porches - and it was considered justifiable homicide without the bother and inconvenience of a trial or anything.

You do have to wonder who's happier.

Quote:
The Dalai Lama probably earns/spends far, far less than £50k per year, but he seems incredibly happy!
Yes, and he's definitely had his share of pain.

Quote:
I think it's the definition of monkhood to be out-of-touch. The whole point is to take a step back and reflect.
Yes, but both the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh probably hear enough stories of pain from people seeking help and comfort. I love both of them, but sometimes they recount a story and give advice, and I want to roll my eyes.

Quote:
Also, check out Ajahn Brahm -- he is one of my absolute favourites:

He has dozens of really good talks on youtube; he has also written a few books but I haven't read them.
Thanks! I've never heard of him. I love Buddhist psychology and Buddhist approaches to dealing with mental suffering.
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"Hear me, my Chiefs! I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I will fight no more forever."--Chief Joseph
  #23  
Old May 17, 2012, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted by fishsandwich View Post
My entire financial plan relies on lasting just six more months until my second six when I can have my own billings, and then raking in all the cash helping rich people not pay taxes.
My entire financial plan relies on a wing and a prayer.

Truly, how can I plan a budget when the price of gas keeps going up insanely? Six months from now I'll have my main mortgage paid off - knock wood. But what will food and gas cost in six months? I have no confidence I can make a realistic prediction.

So you'll be doing tax then? My taxation of personal income prof was a Canadian. Totally different perspective on taxes than we have pushed at us constantly by Americans - many of whom literally compare taxes to slavery.

Quote:
I feel like this related to the topic of the thread because (1) God's gonna hate me; and, (2) it's pretty much the definition of nihilist!
Do you really think God will hate you?
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  #24  
Old May 17, 2012, 04:05 PM
fishsandwich fishsandwich is offline
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Originally Posted by costello View Post
. . . . [Nigerian anecdote]
You do have to wonder who's happier.
I've never really thought of the West as a particularly happy place. The happiest people I've ever met were in Greece, which is not-quite-West. I can't imagine there's much happiness there at the moment, though.

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Thanks! I've never heard of him. I love Buddhist psychology and Buddhist approaches to dealing with mental suffering.
Me too! I like this fellow because he lived a standard Western life before he became a monk. I love the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, but they had pretty extreme, violent and (often) non-Western lives. I think that's why they sometimes come across as a bit out-of-touch.

I recently bought the book Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world by Mark Williams. I haven't started yet but I've heard fantastic things about it, so let's see if it goes! I'm always curious to try these things because they are so non-interventionist.
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Old May 17, 2012, 04:09 PM
fishsandwich fishsandwich is offline
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Originally Posted by costello View Post
My entire financial plan relies on a wing and a prayer.
Bless. This would cause me far too much anxiety.
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Originally Posted by costello View Post
Truly, how can I plan a budget when the price of gas keeps going up insanely? Six months from now I'll have my main mortgage paid off - knock wood. But what will food and gas cost in six months? I have no confidence I can make a realistic prediction.
Yeah I have no idea. I'm pretty lucky to live in the centre of a big city, so I don't have big variable bills like petrol. Even yesterday, I noticed that in the bast three weeks the cost of an apple at the supermarket has risen from like, 13p to 35p. It's a bloody apple!!

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So you'll be doing tax then? My taxation of personal income prof was a Canadian. Totally different perspective on taxes than we have pushed at us constantly by Americans - many of whom literally compare taxes to slavery.
Uhm well I have to complete my pupillage first, which involves working with senior barristers in quite a few (related) areas of the law. I imagine it'll be tax or trusts or possibly real property in the end, though. That is, unless I get monster scholarships to do my LLM.
And I've long since given up trying to understand Americans. :P I guess being a Canadian, I just take progressive taxation as a fact of life.

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Do you really think God will hate you?
I'm not even sure that God exists.
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