Roll Call Eight

i wanna stop my meds...

You shouldn't stop them.

why?
ive only been on meds 2 weeks or 3 weeks or so. before i wasnt on them but off/on snce 2010. only "on" cuz hospital stays like this.

I wasn't uncomfortable. I don't believe in either demons or angels.

I think of a soul as being a sort of collective 'energy.' I think of it as the ocean. The ocean is one great mass, but it throws up waves. The waves may seem to be separate from the mass of the ocean, but they come from the ocean and they return from the ocean. Then the ocean throws up a new wave. It may include bits from many different previous waves.

The same with 'souls' are whatever you want to call them. We emerge from that collective mass of energy, and we return to it. While we're alive we have the impression that we're separate from it and from everyone else, but in fact we're not.

So to me a 'soul' returns, but not necessarily as the individual. Whatever animates me will go back to the 'ocean' and come back as parts of many other people. You can't dip me out of the ocean again anymore than you can dump a glass of water into a lake and then dip that same water back out.

See? I personally wasn't offended. I just have a long, weird answer. And I can't even honestly say that I 'believe' that. It's just the story I tell myself, because it helps me to remember that we're all the same.

I can't say anything that'll be different then 'take your medication as prescribed' I'm not the best to talk someone into something like that when I'm not even taking my medication.

I hope you're not taking it for the right reasons. Stay safe.

im not the best either. im in your boat.
people on here know me best from that boat
heh not that i...idk.

i think you and i are...alike

i never been compliant THATS why they gave me TWO SHOTS of HALDOL in my hip. they only give haldol shots for noncompliant patients.

It always comes down to me wanting help, wanting medication, getting it, hating it, stopping it, losing my mind, going back on my medication.

I hate this cycle. I hate it. Part of me wants to get better, other part wants to completely fall into it and end up in the psych-ward drugged out of my mind...

I went to see World's End today. It was pretty funny.

I can relate to this, so much. I post something and then get paranoid as heck that I've made someone angry or upset and ugh. It's why I delete my posts sometimes.

You didn't make me angry at all actually, I thought it was a great post.

That's me in a nutshell, thank you for sharing that. It's good to know I'm not alone in this struggle.

Right now I want to actually take meds, but the issue now is finding something that my body can tolerate. I'm really abnormally sensitive to meds.

I don't think I post anything very controvertial very often. When I do I expect people to be angry with me, but usually I get less backlash than I was prepared for.

Hahaha, exactly. Sometimes I expect the world to end for expressing an opinion and then I log on and well... world's still there and people still like me... ha.

i stopped my meds last night and this morning.

nicotine used to make sleepy & relaxed
now i doesnt
now i smoke for energy

Be careful Newtus!

What happens when you aren't on your meds?

I get delusional when I stop mine.

well this is first time ive been on some in a very long time.

i hear voices and yea i get delusional.

i also get cognitive slippage and some disorganization ....diff stuff....
but its only day 1. it might take a few dayys to kick in. but hopefully ill lose weight tho and some other things. like not be so tired all the time.

I'm on day three. I'm shaky. I feel electric. I can hardly sleep at night. I feel super aware of everything.

I'm concerned about the moon creatures taking cats and NEVER DYE YOUR HAIR AGAIN THEY HAVR MICROBOTS IN IT AND THEY GET IN YOUR BRAIN AND THEY CAN HEAR YOU.

i miss being super aware. all i am is super tired right now

Super tired sucks. Just keep safe

thanks

it actually started. like i stopped taking them because i became paranoid about the meds. how they were completely changing me. and everyone around me was saying im all happy now. im thinking "this isnt me i know it isnt" so i became wary of the meds and its being a complete guise to turn people like me away from the media. im very wary of meds and i punched myself and bruised myself when i became angry about how i was almost washed over by these meds and was made to forget about the media and the MSM and the black market underground.

My pills tried me make me forget about all the spies watching me. The pills are poison I know it. I won't forget.

We can keep them away.

I can relate to this newtus, I stopped taking mine because I think they changed who I am and the side effects felt like they were poisoning me slowly. I prefer to know the truth than be sedated

thing about me is the meds dont fix my delusions. the only thing the kinda fix is my voices and i was still hearing voices in them a bit but not like i do off them.

altho id prefer not to call them delusions. i do only in the respect of this website. but they really arent in any shape or form. if they were more bizarre maybe but my beliefs arent bizarre. but when i start saying "they are watching me" people think im delusional ...but IS IT? NOPE NOT EVEN THEN.

Its weird because i have tartative dyskinesia coming back after being without it for years after i had a med change in the 1900's. I am not on any different meds and don't know why it coming back, it is awful to live with. I also play the piano so i'm wondering if its carpell tunnell.Any thoughts?