Roll Call Eight

I actually do watch you I know. They listen to your thoughts too. They are always talking about what I am thinking about too. Just people, real people, they sit there talking about my thoughts. I don't get paranoid about it really but I wonder why they do it, and why they do it to me? Is it just so I know they are watching, I call them the watchers.

It is quiet today. Where is everybody? Enjoying the weekend?

That's great news!

I'm here. Just been doing nothing all day to distract myself.

I hate this weekend. Personal reasons.

im at my moms

what am i doing here?

for tonight.
will get back withh u guys tomorrow when i get out of here.
sick of giving people like her a chance...

OH i know why i do
ciz i have no one else cept my dad :'(

Try to have a good weekend.

I couldn't sleep last nite so I stayed up all night til 5:30 this morning watching my season 5 Sons of Anarchy. Slept til 2:20pm then got up & started doing cleaning & laundry & had to take all 3 kids to different places this evening. Running around doing errands! I'm still out with my 17 yr old daughter. She worked til 9:30 tonight so I'm running her around to do her errands right now. Thank God I can just sit in the car while she goes in. I'm not in any mood to be around crowds of people. I'll be happy when I can go back home! Tomorrow I'm not doing squat! Just gonna hang out @ home & watch my season 5

I did manage to give Daisy a good bath today. She loved that! Going to try to clip her nails tomorrow. She'll hate that!

I'm glad you got to go over to your mom's for a change of scenery. I'm hoping & praying that you'll have a good visit with her.

I'm hoping & praying that all of you have a nice weekend!

I like running errands at night because then it's not so hot. Today in Dallas it was 103!!!

I spent yesterday being bullied by my mother for not taking my meds. Feel very alone in this ******** dream but getting out on Monday

anyone else find that being alone is triggering???
ill be officially home alone this week, since being out of the hospital. my parents managed to stay at home for the last three weeks taking me to all my appointments and all that. and i wont have them anymore since they work all day.
i guess this is where my regime skills come into practice....heh :/

Can you stay in touch with them by text message? My son and I text a lot.

and now im being bullied by my dad. feeling very alone right now who the hell is on my side in the stupid dream??

I'm surrounded by people and I feel consumed and watched constantly.

I appreciate my alone time. It is necessary for me to work things out in my head. I live with my parents so I sometimes do not get the alone time that is so important to me. Lately, I have not doing so well so I've required more alone time. My mom asked a few times if I was mad at her because I was not talking to her as much. I wrote her a letter explaining why I needed more time alone and that I was not mad at her...........D.

i NEED my time alone. but its hella of a trigger.
im alone though both when i want & and against my wanting to be alone.
even if i want to be with someone most times i cannot cuz i have no many people.

my dadd yes who is busy a lot.
my mom sure. but our relationship too very rocky.
no one else.

im back.

things went weirdly ok.
actually so weird i felt very scared/nervous being there.
i was so grateful to be back with my dad today!!!

Max is thankfully back to his usual self today

*Willow*

A few days I woke up with a hypnogangic (cant spell it) hallucination of my parents saying my name and screaming at me telling me to do something. I was awake for the whole thing. I was looking at my dad as he was yelling at me and he was sleeping. I heard my mom and she is.. in a different country so weird eh.

Makes me wonder because i forgot to take the risperidone the night before.

It's hypnagogic when retiring and hypnapompic when rising.

yeh i guess i could do that....but they might grow suspicious...unless i just tell them im doing it for comfort/company....i dont wanna be a burden...

my mum thinks that too when im being short with her or just not talking to her...its my early warning sign that things arent going so well....sorry to hear ur struggling...lets hope ur alone time does u some favours and u can work things out!
but im the opposite in that i find if im alone with my thoughts then im F**ked, so i try to keep myself busy...but theres only so much u can do hey?

thats a good warning sign to have Ash

yeh it is too hey....its one thats obvious to everybody...except me of course....i just have no insight...i get impatient, which i notice...but everything else i dont....