Roll Call 17

My MIL just had this done in the fall. It was pretty easy. She filled out the form and her GP attested that she needs to be on disability. She doesn't even havea pdoc right now. But it was accepted with no problems.

I hope my review is just as easy as your MIL's. Crossing my fingers that it's so.

Cracking, Punky, Faerie, Blackwhitered, Erti

Oh I know the stress of a disability review only too well, so I feel your pain Cyber When I first went on ESA it was every 6 months, but now it's yearly, which is better. Though my next review isn't until September, which is ages away, I'm still stressing cos they're surveilling me already, looking for an excuse to terminate my benefits and lock me in jail for fraud. This is scary **** and I'd much rather have a job and have the Govt leave me alone - I'd work if I could! I hope it goes smoothly for you Cyber

Mum was asking me today if I missed her while she was in hospital. I stalled for time, struggling to think what to say that wasn't a lie but didn't hurt her feelings, so said that I visited her in hospital so it's not like I didn't see her the whole time. Then she pouted and said that I could say no if I wanted. I didn't say anything, so she told my Dad (who'd just arrived) that I hadn't missed her. Then I said that no I hadn't missed her because, whenever I saw her in hospital, she was mean to me, which was true but I probably shouldn't have said that. So her & Dad look confused and both said they didn't recall her ever being mean, and asked for examples. So I told them what she had said about us being in competition over who was sickest and about her 'winning', and Mum passed it off as a joke, but I said that jokes are supposed to be funny.

I don't care if she was ill or if she says that she meant it as a joke. I know full well that she means it, and my Dad thinks it too, based on comments made when angry, supposed 'jokes', and sarcastic comments. My Mum's struggles are considered more legitimate than mine in every respect because they're physical and I should just "pull my finger out" and get on with life. And it's very upsetting to be dismissed by my own family

*Willow*

I think I'm starting to get depressed and feel more SI. I've been having really bad intrusive thoughts and one of them is about the ghost thing so idk if it's really her terrorizing me or not, but I'm starting to not feel safe. I feel lonely and just want to cry. I can't hold my pet because he's aggressive and I wish she just loved me.

I just spent a few minutes catching up on this thread. A lot going on.

cyber: Good luck with your review. Stressful, I know, but I'm sure you'll come out fine.

Cracking: I was where you are a few years ago, kids moving out. But at least in my family my sons are still very much a part of my life. You'll soon adjust to your new freedom and have some time for you.

Erti: Sorry about the sleep and depression. Me too. Last night was awful.

blackwhitered:

faerie: I hate teeth problems, and tooth pain is my least favorite kind of pain - if that makes sense. Good luck.

Willow: I'm so sorry you're having these challenges with your mom. Possibly it would be really healing to work through it? I'm glad you were honest with her.

punky:

I hope I didn't miss anyone. I really have to get off here and get ready for work. Running so far behind this morning due to my awful awful awful insomnia-depression night.

Take care, everyone.

My parents, and especially my Mum, think that the whole thing was nothing, a joke, and I should stop going on about it. My Dad actually said earlier "it was a joke: get over it!" My Mum thinks that the problem is 100% me being moody and horrible, and is doing her 'wounded martyr' routine eg "oh I don't know why I bother talking to you when you're so moody and I'm so ill...woe is me blah blah blah", which is one of her favourite roles. Nobody has ever had it as tough as she has, and yet she still does this or that (whatever she thinks I'm not doing: the implication being that I'm morally weak and defective). You can't work with someone who won't acknowledge their part in the problem.

Hope work is ok and you sleep better tonight

I've almost finished skim-reading the Elyn Saks book and have found it really interesting and totally recommend it if you haven't read it. I relate to so much of it! The only think I haven't experienced symptom-wise is disorganised speech - can you have psychosis without disorganised speech? I have trouble thinking and organising thoughts to talk or write at times. I also struggle quite a lot understanding others' speech, but I've never talked the way she sometimes does. My Uni pdoc said I had evidence of mild thought disorder from what I've explained here, but the hospital docs said that was rubbish and I'd never had psychosis, so I don't know who to believe. Has anyone here had experience of a diagnosed psychotic episode where they didn't have disorganised speech??

*Willow*

Yes I had no disorganized speech at all during my episode---that's just one of many flavors of psychosis you only need like two symptoms out of the list---hallucinations and delusions are enough...

I had disorganized speech with psychotic episodes but it depends on how deep the psychosis is. I know you have seen me write because of the psychotic disorganized speech. But no, its not an absolute requirement. Like Sometimes Psychotic said, you need 2 symptoms for schizophrenia related illnesses. There are other psychotic disorders besides the schizophrenia related ones like Delusional disorder but that's primarily focused on delusions. Most of the time I am lucid, completely linear in my speech patterns. But in psychosis that changes.

How long do people generally have to take antipsychotics for? I've been on them for about three months and all of the psychotic symptoms I was having have gone away, and I told the psychiatrist that but she wanted me to keep taking the olanzapine because it seems to be working. Do I have to take olanzapine forever then? I've tried quitting the medication but I get bad insomnia when I stop taking it. Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask but I didn't want to make another thread, sorry if I'm being a bother to you guys too.

i have an appt with new pdoc today. i hope it goes well.

i have had disorganized speech before and it was pretty bad.

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You don't have to take it forever but the current guidelines are at least 6 months symptom free follow by a long taper off the drug(about 4-6 months) The tapering period must also be a relatively stress free period. I had one episode and I ended up on the meds for 2.5 years because the first time we tried to taper at a year I started having weird symptoms like anxiety and anger. Because of the changes to receptors in your brain its critical to taper off of these drugs---we were cutting aboout 1/4 of my initial dose every 6 weeks but I was on the lowest dose effective for psychosis so it may take longer on a higher dose. I've been off for 3 or 4 months now no relapse but your chances of relapse are increased for the first year.

Can't thank you enough!

Thank you SO MUCH for this Sometimes! Yet more evidence that the hospital staff are full of ****!!!

I'm so glad that you're going through with it this time How did it go?

Didgee Hope you're ok. Please post, or you can PM me if you prefer.

Gr3tta: My Mum's daffodils have started to bloom so that means spring is here! Hope the snow goes ASAP.

*Willow*

I wasn't able to look backwards but I see Gr3tta is back, so welcome back!

i'm kind of all over. My tooth is okay but feeling quiet today. I'm kind of tired and run down today.

Newtus: hope the pdoc goes okay. Keep us posted

Willow: I hope you get all this stressful stuff sorted out soon.

little didgee for you, hope you're okay.

Everyone else gets a too today, Hope all is well.

the new pdoc went ok. wasnt anything spectaculr. but nervewrecking.
i feel kind of bad abandoning my doc like that.

I'm sorry.

I am having a surprisingly good day given how lousy my night was. I'm taking a mystery writing course, and it started today. Also, my jewelry making class is today - which is both good and bad. Good because I enjoy it. Bad because I'll be getting to bed late.

My son's been taking olanzapine for three years. His pdoc just started trying to ween him off a couple of weeks ago. It may or may not work for him. Some people have to take them for life.

YMMV

Thanks, appreciate it. I'm on Olanzapine too as it is.

Oh, that sounds exciting. I always feel nervous about mystery because you want to seem smart and make people feel that surprise at the end. I always get nervous I'm giving away too much.

Our first assignment in the mystery writing class is to introduce ourselves on the discussion forum. So far there are three of us, me, a retired clinical psychologist, and a soon-to-be retired substance abuse counselor. Help! I'm surrounded by mental health workers.

Actually they're already buddying up to each other.

Did you like this pdoc better? You're not really abandoning him. It's responsible to have a doctor you feel is a good fit for you. Your health is the important thing.

I already have a rough idea for my story, and it's just a fun little thing. My 'detective' is going to be a chicken.

Makes you wonder what they will write and what type of character they will create.