Roll Call 18

lets chat!

i hope everyone is having a good day!

ok anyway did anyone see my last post in roll call 17?

My son doesn't like marijuana. We were just talking about this yesterday. He worries that some of his friends think he's judging them when he turns it down. He doesn't care what anyone else does, but for him it's unpleasant.

Yeah I thought you didn't do that anymore for some reason...

i didnt. then i bought some to retry it. probably bad choice. i thought i wouldnt have the same reaction to it but i did. so weird. or maybe not weird. i stopped because i was having panic attacks on it. i just thought my reaction wouldnt be the same. but it was.

its not very pleasant to me either. im glad he could talk to you about this. im surprised he could. i think some may judge me when i dont want some either.

We talk about almost everything. I wish he could find a therapist that would talk to him this way. Sometimes he just needs reassurance or information or a different perspective.

The thing with therapists, though, is they're not available whenever you need to talk. Sometimes he feels the need to talk immediately, because he's going down a bad thought path, you know? He needs to hash it out or relieve the tension or hear someone say, "I think you're misinterpreting that."

Is that the only reaction you've ever had or did you have good reactions before...I guess I'm just wondering why you'd try it again if it sucked you know...

Sound like what he actually needs is a friend...

i wish i could be open with my dad about weed. maybe its all this marketing with colorado and all but i still think its not so bad. idk? but for me its not really good. but my dad and i joke about it at times. we also joke about lots of other things. but my dad and i still only talk about certain things. including my mental illness too.

i never had a good reaction. idk why. i guess i THOUGHT if i calmed myself i would be okay. because when i did it before people always said "calm down" or "breathe" and i couldnt. it felt like my brain was restarting a million times over and over.

gah! ive been forgetting to take my celexa. damn.

I get trying something again even if you've had a bad reaction before. I've done that.

Yep. A friend who gets what he's going through. Or at least is willing to try to understand.

I think all the discussion in the news because of the legalization is what's got my son thinking about it too. He seems really disturbed by the constant reports that marijuana isn't harmful or that it's no worse than alcohol. For him it is very much worse.

it doesnt keep me calm. like it supposedly is supposed to. id rather drink alcohol. i thought i was going to have to call 911. or my dad for help or someone because i started to panic.

this stuff really needs a disclaimer warning lol before its sold in shops in colorado. not everyone has the same reaction but id be willing to bet many people have this reaction to it.

Haven't tried weed yet. Maybe it'll help me maybe it won't. Lol idk.

Did you program your phone?

Yeah I guess I do that with food so it's not so weird to think something might change...it's just drugs tend to scare me because people have no pity if you end up permanantly screwed up so I've never tried any of them...

no darn
because its not time for me to start taking the haldol pills yet. but i shouldve done it before.

id rather be psychotic than try weed again probably but i did think about calming myself down and trying it again but idk prob not good idea. idk what makes me panic on it.

I'm not saying I'd never try it but it would have to be a low THC strain like charlottes web that they use for epilepsy and I'd only do it if I was already psychotic because it can trigger a break...so maybe it's because you're using a normal strain(I assume)...

My mom doesn't have a dx but after I was born and she tried weed again it made her feel "out of control" and from what she told me never tried it again.

i was acting like i was robotic. i wasnt talking and i took 3 showers to wear if off. then i like "i should go outside naked". "i should call someone about this". but i didnt. it was making me act on my thoughts before thinking them through. luckily i was able to keep in some control. i still took like 3 showers.

Ah well at least you're squeaky clean. Good thing you didn't go streaking. Can't say I haven't before.