Roll Call 18

Yeah, food was the first thing that jumped to my mind too. I know I'm going to feel like freaking crap later if I eat something. Usually that's enough to stop me but not always.

Yeah there isn't really any food I get sick from except corn but I can eat some of that, I was more thinking of onions which I always picked out as a kid but now I'm like how would you even cook without an onion you know?

Ha! I figured out how to quote from a different thread! Go me!

Geodon isn't available in the UK so I don't know much about it. Is it similar to aripiprazole/Abilify in terms of akathisia side effects? Cos that's what this sounds like. Akathisia totally sucks!

That happens to me too, not necessarily meds related though. Sometimes the depression is worst, sometimes the paranoia, sometimes the voices, sometimes the paranoia and voices are bad together...I haven't noticed any seasonal pattern though, or anything else that might account for it

I haven't had many tactile hallucinations and they've mostly been intense and rapid, like feeling a hand or foot on my back in the middle of the night, or being pulled down the bed, so I don't really know what to do for them. Last summer I kept feeling that bugs were crawling on me. Occasionally they were, so I don't know whether it counts as a proper hallucination or not, but it drove me nuts! And I had no idea what to do about it, but if something similar happens again I'll try the suggestions in the last Roll Call (though I hope it doesn't happen again!)

My parents are really stressed about my youngest brother and sister, who are complete PITAs. My sister is still driving me mad, but I mostly don't have much to do with my brother cos he's always in his room on the xbox. It's half term next week so they'll both be around all week :/ They're both adopted (the rest of us aren't) and we wonder how much of their behaviour is nature and how much is nurture. They behave so much worse than we ever did and they don't seem to learn from punishments. I suppose they have had a different upbringing than we did though as they were spoilt much more than we were cos my parents had more money then and probably felt sorry for them for their early beginnings, but I don't think that did them any favours as they are complete monsters now. They are walking contraceptive ads and really put me off having kids of my own one day! It's just so frustrating because they have no respect and we feel like we're banging our heads against a brick wall with them both. I sometimes think that our lives would be so much easier if we'd never adopted them...but then I feel bad cos that's a terrible thing to think, even if it is true

My parents could really do without the stress though. Mum is also stressed cos she's been constipated for the last week, despite laxatives, and, due to her liver problem, she has to go twice a day or her brain damage will get worse. Her tremor has gotten worse the last few days so she needs to go to the docs and get it sorted quick! Plus I'm worrying about my upcoming MH appts and I have no one IRL to talk to about it. Max's tail is looking a bit better today though, thanks to the germoline, which is a relief as I could really do without a trip to the vets right now.

*Willow*

Sorry about your younger sibs, Willow. I have an adopted son who sounds very much like them - especially not learning from consequences.

Yeah I'm thinking it might be akathisia. Abilify gave me really bad akathisia as well.

I begged the voices to kill me but they wouldn't. This isn't right. I want to move on but I can't.

Bad things will keep happening until someone breaks the cycle. It's either us or them.

It certainly isn't for everybody. My son was using weed a while back (trying to self medicate). It just made things worse for him. He concluded as well himself and told us, yet he would continue to go back "trying it out" again with more bad results. He finally stopped using it. I don't have a problem if someone enjoys it or finds it helpful, but for a lot of people it's not a good experience at all!

I think my son felt like he had use it in order to be sociable. You know? He worries a lot about what people think about him. A few years ago he flew to California to look at a school. While he was there, he stayed with a friend of a friend. This guy told my son's friend that my son was 'odd,' because he refused to smoke with him. My son really hates being called odd. He figures that if that's odd, maybe he should partake if he's offered. We've talked about it a lot, and I think he understands it's not odd to turn down something if you don't want it.

That's odd... last time I was offered weed I said no and the person basically said, "Well more for me then".

Peer pressure! and when you are dealing with mental health issues already, it's probably a good idea to steer clear of drugs & alcohol.

I think marijuana being legal in CO in a novelty for now, but the novelty will wear off after awhile.

I m having an Iron Chef America marathon on amazon prime.

who could tell the line point. everything happens for a reason. I wish I knew a reason or two. Four is the devil. Make sense? Great idea, figures it out hat fall off call dolls and running away from the equation of time which is obsession. My voices are still acting up, I wish they'd leave me alone.

I get really paranoid smoking weed then I eat and fall.asleep. Boring....but I love the smell. They ought to make a Yankee Candle with that scent...

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(((hugs))) atypical

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(((hugs))) blackwhitered-grey

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I think they would sell well you know if you were using you could just be like sorry officer Yankee candle...of course I think people only get busted for doing this around college campuses for the most part and only if the neighbors complain.

I just want them to kill me. I really just want them to kill me. I'm not playing this game anymore. I don't care. I'm not myself. They say I can go to sleep and wake up in Galveston. I don't want to be here, in this body, anymore. It's damaged goods. It's not mine. My mind belongs to them.

Been getting good grades in my classes and midterms are coming up. As soon as I get my midterm grades I can apply to the medical program, I'm very excited.

A month ago when I was coming home I saw someone in my huge window at my house and I figured it was my bf. When I got inside I asked him what he was doing looking out the window and he told me he was in our bedroom the whole time and he was the only person home. I thought he was kidding, but after a while I realized it was the truth and I really creeped him out. He has brought this story up twice in the last week and it makes me feel unsafe. I figured it was a hallucination, but what if it was that ghost? I feel confused and uneasy ):

Sorry you're struggling so much. What makes you believe your body is damaged goods?

So now I'm coherent, but now the voices and "delusions" are just... not being touched by the geodon at all. I'm getting really fed up with this. It's like ok so that took care of one problem but I'm still a mess.

Thanks Costello! What is it about being adopted? My brother suffered some physical abuse for about a year, but my sister was removed at a few weeks old so she was never abused...I do wonder how much she's learnt from him over the years though. I wonder if she'd be half as bad if we'd just had her. Idk, I suppose it's pointless to wonder cos it's done now. Got to focus on how to make our lives bearable until they move out!

Akathisia is the worst thing ever! I hope it goes soon.





Well done Medicalfox! Good luck with midterms

*Willow*

I don't know. They say that any attachment breaks at a very young age can potentially cause psychological problems. My dad was adopted at age 6 months, though, with no ill effect.

It's just a vessel. It's been through a lot in this world. Meds that gave me terrible side effects, self-harm, eating disorders, sexual harassment, violation by psych hospitals (apparently legally). It doesn't belong to me.