Roll Call 18

I love your response!
I do hope your day gets better!

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What makes you not want to try it?
Im curious.

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Want me to remind you when u get home?

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Well if she's already on zyprexa its the same mechanism of weight gain as that one so it will likely be equivalent in that regard. As far as stopping working that is sort of odd to me because you don't develop a tolerance to this kind of med sure the body increases D2 receptor levels in the brain but it does that within two weeks. It's possible that her psychosis has sort of a variable intensity or something....still that is so like flowers for algernon I always think of that book with regard to psychosis and the promise of getting better only to realize you are falling into it again...

So maybe I should agree with her pdoc and have her try it. He is a very good doctor. Humble, sympathetic, he cares. We have talked about clozaril for over a year but wanted to try other meds first. Is it really a last resort med as everyone alludes to?

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Punky:

Thank you Cracking.
A little teary right now......

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It is a last resort med legally---you have to be registered to take it and you have to have tried other drugs first. The reason is the possibility of death. The US government wouldn't even approve it unless it was shown to be better than other antipsychotics because of that but it turns out that it is better. But its sounds like she's tried both atypical and typicals and clozapine is the only thing that's really different... its an atypical but has some sort of added aspect they can't figure out. Zyprexa was supposed to be like clozapine but without the risk of death but its not...its just doesn't work the same...

She has tried.....
Lithium
Depakote
Risperdol
Seroquil
Geodone
Thorazine
Zyprexa
....and a couple more I cant recall.


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She's on thorazine right now? So here is an advantage of clozapine---lower risk of movements disorders like TD---So if you get TD it might not go away even if you stop taking the AP entirely so its kind of scary but there is a lower risk with clozapine it even seems to mask pre-existing TD in some patients. The typicals like thorazine suck in terms of TD risk and it keeps going up the longer you're on it.

Yea. She takes cogentin to help prevent it but has TD for years now. It would be nice if they went away but they might just stay.

Meds that were taken when she was younger and they thought she was ADHD gave her ticks that never really went away.

She was so extreme when she was younger that they tried every medication there was just to get her to go to sleep at night and to function during the day and to not hurt herself because she would do some crazy things.
Jumping out of windows... too many things to even mention.

At 12 years old when she was finally hospitalized is when she finally for the first time in her life slept through the night. Zyprexa the wonder drug that makes you blow up in size.

And she is the sweetest kindest most loving girl you could ever meet. I am dumbfounded.

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I'm sorry you're struggling. My voices used to tell me that too, but they're still refusing to talk to me, though that has it's pluses...

It's annoying, is what it is! I don't like being put on the spot or hurting people's feelings, so I have to grasp around for something positive to say. I'm not putting up with that at the end of every session!

Thanks Punky!

Wow that sounds cool! I fancied making soap a while ago but I've no idea how to do it.

Hope you feel better soon!

to you both

Keep doing what you're doing Punky, but she also needs a more available T.

What is the difference??

Hope you're ok Gr3tta.

What is this app? I paid for an educational psychology assessment, but it cost a fortune, so I'd be interested in monitoring my IQ using a reliable app.

So definitely not sza? Why did she add the mood stabiliser then?!



Today has been quieter, thankfully. My niece & nephew came over, which wasn't as stressful as I feared. Thankfully my anxiety/paranoia (what's the difference??) about somehow contaminating them with my badness isn't as strong as it has been, so I was able to mostly enjoy my time with them.

Then I tried to help my sister with her maths homework, developing a pounding headache in the process. She's so frustrating to help cos she's got attention probs and impulsively shouts out random answers which are completely wrong. Also I don't think she's very bright, and I think the education system in this country is going to the dogs (unless you can afford private school). She doesn't understand the relationships between numbers, she doesn't know her times tables, she doesn't understand units/tens/hundreds...I could go on! At her age I was doing long multiplication in my spare time just for fun! And I'm not that bright in the grand scheme of things.

It's just so frustrating, cos she's messing about and doesn't seem to care that she can't do it, and I'm trying hard not to damage her self-esteem by giving her the impression that she's stupid, cos she's not, her IQ is average. But how can a student of average intelligence be performing so poorly?! This is why so many people are leaving school with no/hardly any qualifications. My 17yo brother left school without maths, English & science GCSEs! My 26yo brother left without them too, but passed them in college 2 years ago so he could go to Uni.

Sorry, I'm ranting I don't agree with private education as I think that everyone should receive a good education regardless of money, but it seems to be the only way to get a good education nowadays. There's a programme on TV called 'are you brighter than a 10yo?' where adults compete against children in general knowledge. However these children must be privately educated cos they know things I don't even know, and they are leaps and bounds above my 11yo sister in a state school. Anyway I'll shut up now...

Good news though, I've dropped a dress size off meds!

*Willow*

ive tried all those drugs too and more. clozaril is a deadly drug. thats why i stay away from it. its so potent.

Willow---I honestly don't know of the reliability of the App because its set up to be as short as 20 questions in 20 minutes and so its probably not the most accurate thing but it is by Mensa the high IQ society and I took it twice in august 2011 and got 101 and 106 which is not much variation so I think its reasonably reliable despite being shorter. Also Mensa actually gives IQ tests routinely so you can join so I'm under the assumption that they know how to test it. I've also done some of the free on-line ones as well and they are comparable. Anyway the splash screen for the app says american mensa brain test I have it on the iphone I have no idea if it exists on other platforms.

Thanks Sometimes! I'll check it out (I have an iPhone too).

*Willow*

It's not really potent it just works differently it actually binds the D2 receptor at a lower level than any other antipsychotic so there is another mechanism they haven't figured out yet. The death is from agranulocytosis which only occurs at a 1% rate so 99 people of 100 who take it will be fine and the other one just has to stop. They test you all the time to make sure this doesn't happen.

I debated Clozaril and olanzapine/Zyprexa last autumn. It was a really hard decision, because of the weight gain with both. The blood tests didn't worry me cos, like Sometimes said, the risk of agranulocytosis is really small.

*Willow*

im still scared of it

im really paranoid. there was a guy that came over trying to get us to buy satellite and he looked like the private investigator in disguise . and then grocery shopping today was hell. hell on eearth. i felt watched by all the cars passing. all the cars at the bank too.

my paranoia on a scale of 1 -10 is up to 8 right now.

I don't blame you---I'm not sure I could take it either...

Did you try taking 4mg of haldol when you got home?

She added it because my agitation is really bad and we've tried other things with minimal positive effect. So we're just seeing if it helps from my understanding.

So what is the difference between paranoia and anxiety then? Anybody know?

*Willow*

not yet but ill take a pill of my 2mg. it only comes in 2mg at a time.

from my perspective anxiety is a feeling and paranoia is a belief.