Roll Call 20

Newtus: When you make it to California are you still planning on visiting universal studios? Why not start planning out the fun things for your trip? What you want to see and take pics of etc. Maybe you could make something for your Grandma? I'm thinking some sort of collage involving the idea of your Cali vacation...just a thought...

i took it and i told my pdoc i dont think its working and she raised it 10mg. but i just dont think its working. i was hoping she would change the whole med to another antidepressant but she didnt.

i would goto another if i could but i leave in less than two weeks and i cant afford them to keep me a week.

Thank you cracking, those brought tears to my eyes. I love my dogs and my cat so mucj. My oldest dog has a lot of problems but it is my joy to take care of him. He repays with so much love.

that sounds good. maybe i can sew something for her or make a photography collage...i still feel so sad

i made another video. if you guys goto my video link its called Schizophrenia and Depression 7.

I knew you'd appreciate those! I love my Daisy so much too! She's my little angel!

Awesome! I'll check it out here in a few minutes. Thanks for telling us!

I bet your grandma would love it if you make her something. You can be well for your trip. Hurting yourself won't solve anything, and you know it. You don't want to go to the hospital you want to go to CA. You'll get through this. Focus on the trip like Sometimes says.

What is you ideal outcome to this situation and how can you make it happen ...so for me I want you to be less sad for starters. It sounds crazy but I learned this in CBT if you sit in a room and just try to laugh for ten minutes you actually feel better at the end. Its just a short term intervention and won't solve your problems but its funny how odd the idea of laughing to yourself in a room is and often that's enough to laugh about. Did you ever read that hyperbole and a half about depression and the corn?

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

For me that's how sadness is---there is when you are terribly sad a point at which you can't take it anymore and something will happen to switch over to an almost uncontrollable laughter and you start the slow climb up to feeling better. If you can't laugh its possible that smiling is enough---there were studies where people had to hold a pencil in their teeth for some amount of time you know cross wise so you're almost smiling and they experienced a positive change in attitude. So maybe start with a smile if you can't manage a laugh?

i will def focus on the trip. im trying my best to get thru this. thank you all for helping me. so much. so much. so much.

Newtus I'm here for you. Keep posting and I'll keep talking with you if you want.

SometimesP has great ideas! I read that hyperbole and a half before. I can relate to it. I love the piece of corn!

I'm sorry you're feeling so damn bad.

Newtus: I just watched your video. It makes me sad to see you so sad It looks like a beautiful place out there where you live. Have you ever thought about growing a little garden? It looks like you've got a lot of room to do so if you wish. It might give you something to do. I'm very sorry you are feeling so depressed. I know exactly how that feels and it sucks big time.

This is actually a really good idea.

Sometimes I find that when I am struggling, I feel better if I have something else to take care of that takes my focus away from myself and what's going on with me. Maybe a garden is a good way to do that. Today is the first day of sprint, so a good time to start growing things.

my dad and i has a garden we tend to.

i was crying in my video...i got a headache now from crying. my dad called me back on his lunch break to check on me. thank god. ...

idk whats wrong with me today. idk why im even sad. im sad and scared and have anxiety and paranoia.

Newtus: I'm glad you have a garden. I wish I had an area of land where I could have one. Gardens can be really inspiring.

I took Daisy on a long walk. It is such a beautiful day outside. She loved it! She found something stinky on the ground and dropped down and rubbed her neck in it before I could react! Little turkey! I had to give her a good bath when we came back inside. Now she smells lovely

i can feel my heartbeat in my head pounding...
i wonder if missing a couple of days of my AD makes it not work? or if its just not working?

I don't know much about meds, but the one thing I know is that skipping doses is generally a bad thing and possibly dangerous with some types of meds.



I'm sorry you're having such a bad day.

Be careful today. Sometimes we all just have bad days for no reason at all.

Yes missing a couple of days makes it not work...my cousin has been dealing with depression for ten years and when she doesn't take her meds her face starts to frown but she doesn't notice the difference only everybody else does.

thanks for the info sometimesp and thanks faerie. my headache has turned into a migraine and i feel like throwing up from the pain.

im a cutter with a long history of cutting. im trying so hard to stay away from that right now but idk if i can make it. but believe me im trying.

ive been makig a lot of videos lately i hope everyone had some time to watch one or two. but thanks to those that did. you dont know what that means to me.

Pharmacological Strategies to Counteract Anti... [Schizophr Bull. 2014] - PubMed - NCBI

So this study is a meta analysis of interventions into weight loss while on APs they find metformin to be a good addition resulting in a 6 pound weight loss on average and better insulin response etc too. Still it has it's own side effects profile so you know it may not be great for everyone but something to consider...

well i went to my friends house. i think i was followed home. by the spies. i saw a speeding car get pulled over and i thought he was pulling me over. i even pulled to the side of the road and he didnt even have his lights on yet. i must have looked dumb. but i thought they were coming for me. i thought abou just running away but then he sped up and pulled the car in front of me. the spies are implanting thought into my head to hurt myself and kill ymself. its like voices in my head. i just texted T and said that and he said to take more seroquel and to take my night meds and go to bed. but i dont feel tired yet. i dont know what to do really

T just said its not possible for them to make me kill myeslf. he says i will get my shot tomorrow and it will stop. but why would they stop when i get my shot. i think they are following me and making sure i do what they say. but i dont want to hurt myself. im confused

@Junk - i think T is right. They can't Make you do anything. They can only talk - you still get to decide what You do.
I'm sorry it's so hard. You are being very strong!

thanks gr3tta....its scary. but im trying really hard to maintain....T is usually right so i trust him. i feel kinda sick like throw up sick.