Roll Call 20

Hey Newtus I watched one of your videos, you have a really pretty voice and I'm sorry you're so sad. It's cool how you make videos, I don't bother with videos since my speech can be off quite a lot and it's rather embarrassing.

hope ur ok newtus

The landlord has parties every Thursday so I'm staying in my bedroom like a hermit until I leave for work. I'm not big into being social and prefer my own space. At least my bedroom is nice and I did my laundry today.

do u work the night shift??

Hang in there junk! It will be okay

thanks junkdna and medicalfox. i slept from 5:30 to 9pm. i needed that.

I was wondering where you went I hope you're feeling better now

Yes I do. I work as a overnight certified nurse assistant since night shifts are easier than day shifts in the home care setting.

Hi there I tried to make a post about this but they just haven't put it through yet,Can you please help give me some advice about this? this is what the original post said>
Hello I am 21 year old Female,
I have a problem with seeing and hearing things that aren't there
Sometimes I see people,or cartoons.... Or shades of light that are there then
Gone in a blink of an eye..this has been happening for as lng as I can remember
But only recently has it gotten worse. Sometimes I will hear my name being called or I will hear the tv being on or two or more people having a conversation...Even when No one is home and I am alone and every electrical appliance has been turned off. Sometimes I feel that life is a dream and I am in a coma and none of this is realAnd sometimes I laugh or cry or do some random impulsive thing for no reason Like kick the wall or the table/desk or break something then I play it off like it didn't happen.. These things happen when I am under no stress at all but when I am under stress they do get worse. they are always present even on my best of days. Also I get tired more than usual and sleep for longer periods of time than I should. I have weird and disturbing thoughts of things That I have to constantly fight back from my mind,Thoughts that I know aren't mine,I would never think these things but yet they pop into my head. I took the sanity score test on here and it told me i scored 70 points for schizophrenia.then I took the screening test for schizophrenia and scored an 75 then I took it again but answered more truthfully about things and got a 78.I looked schizophrenia up and many things I experience are very similar,it kind of freaks me out,I am too shy to seek professional help I just can't talk to someone face to face about my problems what if someone laughs at me or people see me going to a doctor and try to use the new found info that I have something wrong with me against me? And I cant talk to my parents either they just laugh it off as just stress they are in complete denial they can't accept something is wrong with me So if I get help I will have to seek it myself but I am afraid of it! I am afraid of people knowing my problems I don't want to be dubbed crazy and slapped on some medicine that I probably don't need. any advice on how to overcome this fear of seeking help would be much appreciated. Thank you.

Well I'm wide awake. Had to take more meds. Hoping it works. Last night was the first night in a couple of weeks that I got good sleep. I don't see the psych nurse until the 31st and I might run out of meds before then. I added a new one but it's a old script. I know I shouldn't do that but I needed sleep so bad.

Hope u feel better newtus.

Cracking-the case management appt went good. I see her in two weeks and then she will get me plugged into some community support. Thanks for asking. I was so exhausted that day I almost cancelled but I didn't. How have you been?

My son and I are getting along ok. He just gets annoyed with me. It's him being a teen I think.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

My shift is almost over and work went well. I've mostly been looking at craigslist on roomshares since they seem interesting and affordable. I have a huge mistrust of people though since numerous amount of people have stolen from me during roomshare situations. I will ask my boyfriend about it when I see him today.

Newtus,
You are a strong woman! Not only are you dealing with you illness, you're helping other people with your videos.
I don't have schizophrenia, but do suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD.
Watching your videos have helped me realize, I'm not alone with my irrational thoughts.
I'm sorry you're in so much pain and it amazes me how you can move forward and help other people, in spite of everything you're going through.
Thank you for sharing Newtus, I really do appreciate it!

Man I feel amazing today----not sure why but I just feel fantastic like I did when I was a little girl just mellow and happy----perhaps the weather supposed to be 62 today! yup pretty much dancing around the office like this...

Have a wonderful day everyone! TGIF!!!!

I talked to my nurse last week, about talking to the stalker that I know, she doesn't think it's a good idea either, she said he could get a restraining order and I'd get arrested if I spoke to him, seems pretty intense for just talking.

I am on a mission to get proof though, I'll just have to ask other stalkers, 1 was in the cemetery a couple of days ago, I got scared and didn't go in, I seriously need to man up.

I tried root beer for the first time and I don't like it - but Wow the new amp - mountain dew, hell yeah.

Well I hope everyone is ok

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning because of a stupid nightmare. Oh well, I expect this to dissipate within an hour or so, so it's all good, lol.

I worked out what it is that abilify gives me, more confidence, more like lets effin do this. So instead they gave me fat pills (olanzapine) I seriously need to get back on abilify.

This video cheered me up today



Got to love MCR

Aw seriously this tshirt is effin awesome

Black I'm Not Okay Splatter T-Shirt - Apparel

still getting my money and they aren't even together anymore.

i have a migraine so bad i threw up this morning. but had nothig in my stomach. so i was dry heaving.

voices are back. i heard a little girl and man. the man said "hes coming".
so paranoia is a little high today.

i had a nightmare too. that i was in a strict hospital. it was so bad.

Just in case anyone needs a little encouragemint today

http://i.imgur.com/pYxUVZU.jpg

crap. i took my morning meds but then threw them up just now. idk if i should take them again prob not.

Thanks sometimesp! I am actually too on top of things at work today! Need more to do! Hope i still feel this way at home - need to do some spring cleaning!

If anything you are under medicated from missing a few doses---when that happens you can often double up on the next dose without ill effects which means it would be safe to take them. I know the haldol is OK but what was your AD called so I can check? I think its really important to keep your AD up considering how you felt yesterday...

oopsie sorry. I thought my post got deleted but was in the wrong post. Thought the monitoring people found me here's the thing I thought was deleted.