Roll Call 21

Thats the problem hun.
It happens every time you decide to stop your meds.
Police, hospital, injections....
Just be careful. We care about you!!!!

Find a Group

I think your closest group would be Portland...we have a few in chicago though...this may be due to how differently we treat people around here...

Ur my sons age, lol.

I say go for ur dreams.

I always wanted to be a history professor, or a psychologist. I say go for something that doesn't feel like work.

I didn't start college until I was a little older, like 23. My son is going to be starting in September. Sometimes I think it's better to start when ur a little older, bc u change what u want to do.

I loved my college days. So far those were the best yrs of my life. I only went to a community college, but I loved it.

U do belong here.

It's just not safe to be carrying around knives. I know u don't feel safe unless u have them...But for any kind of mental health worker they have to cover their butts. If I was carrying a knife around, they would want me to stop too.

I'm really sorry u feel so scared.

Ok, I've got to get ready and shower, I see my new case manager today. Wish me luck that I get one that's not too overworked. I really want to get in some groups. They have one on meds and metabolism. That's what I really want to get in, bc it looks like for at least the next yr I'm gonna be on some kind of ap.

Hope everyone has a good day.

And for those struggling.

How you doing today Newtus.

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Hope everyone's well? I'm doing well on my depot, it gets a bad rap I actually prefer it to taking tablets everyday. Less battles with myself. Loving the sunny days helps my mood no end

im having a rough day. my paranoia is so high.

idk whats real or not right now.

i feel anxious

my hallucinations are coming up in my brain more and more

ive been cutting out newspaper articles about spies after me. theyre after me again

Im sorry that your feeling this way.
Does your dad know how your doing?

Maybe talking to him would help when he gets home from work.


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Are you sure its worth the weight loss to be dealing with this again?

I have to agree with sometimes.
You dont seem very happy or content with the way things.are going right now Newtus.
(((hug)))

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Newtus does your dad know that you stopped taking all your medications? I care and I worry about you hun

my dads off today and tomorrow. he told me today he can tell i havent been taking my meds. he doesnt know i stopped but he has a suspicion.

When I read this I thought of you and your mom Newtus:

i think it is. ive been starving myself to lose weight and throwing up a little. im sorry to say that. but im overweighht by a few pounds.

but anyway........i think it is. i cant handle psychosis right. i have problems on meds and its only worse off meds. its startingg to get real bad.

but its like ...i gotta get this weight off.

idk..........

Is this because of what your mother said about your weight? If she had not of said that to you would you have stayed on your medications?

Newtus you haven't made any videos in a while. Do you think making some would help you?

I just checked your blog and you haven't written there since November.

I'm just wondering if talking about what your dealing with would help you...

You'd probably receive lots of great, helpful advice

Have you ever considered metformin as an add on to your meds....its an anti diabetes drug but its sort of common name is exercise in a bottle because it changes the energy regulation in you cells...here is an article about it. I don't know why its not more commonly used...its like the pdocs want to completely ignore the metabolic side effects...

Fighting Antipsychotic Weight Gain

What do you value more, weight loss or your life?

Getting off medications can result in a psychotic episode that can KILL YOU. You're already on edge and have been on edge even when you were taking your medicine.

Also, I really hate to say this but you sounded a hell of a lot better when you were on the injections. Sure you still had issues but you sounded better.

There's a reason medications exist, they are there to help. I know, I'm a huge hypocrite and need to work on medication compliance myself, but still... you are risking your life here. Also, you don't want to spiral into an eating disorder. That will just make EVERYTHING worse(voice of experience talking here), and I do mean everything. You'll stop sleeping at night because you're starving, which will then make your psychosis even worse. It's not a good cycle.

Sorry for the blunt post, I'm just worried about you and I would hate to see you back in the hospital and then back on the injections that you hated so much. Why not just take the pills and have some control over your life? I know it sucks to take them, but without them you are in trouble. Every time you've gotten off your meds you've gotten into serious trouble.

I have to agree with everyone about this. It's really frustrating to see u do this to yourself again.

Omg, I just saw somebody from my past that I didn't want to see. I'm all nervous, shaky, and a little paranoid. I was supposed to increase the latuda today but I'm gonna wait and do it tomorrow.

I just took a risperdal...dammit. I hate this feeling, and the risperdal and weight...Ugh it seems so overwhelming sometimes.

I was just thinking, I've been trying to convince people for a while and it still hasn't happened yet.

Really though to say I'm sick and lack insight - is just effin ignorant.

I tell them what is going on and this is what they come up with, this makes me more sure that they are involved, the Drs, nurses and hospitals.

How many times do I need to say that I'm not sick.

(HUG)

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Big hugs to you Kureha!