Roll Call 21

I'm so sorry, hon. I wish I could help.

Don't stop posting here. We may not be perfect, but we care about you.

Kureha It sucks that you are going through this stuff. I get anxious because the Govt is monitoring me too. I think what David Cameron is doing to the NHS and people on benefits is despicable!

Newtus: You know deep down what the best thing to do is. It is time for you to be responsible and start taking your meds again, otherwise you WILL end up in the hospital again and they WILL forcibly medicate you, and it will probably be court ordered this time so you can't escape it again. You should talk to your T about your disordered eating behaviours before that gets out of control too

I think I told you guys that I got my notes last week. Well I delivered a letter to the CMHT today saying that I'm discharging myself because of the "many inaccuracies" in my notes. I didn't get into specifics though because I knew that I would never change their minds. Surprisingly the psychologist then rang to see if I wanted to speak to his manager about my issues with my records, but I declined. I did not discharge myself in order to get them to beg me to stay, which is what they probably will think if I agreed to meet with anyone now. I'm actually surprised that someone bothered to contact me: considering that they all think I'm malingering, why do they want to keep seeing me?!

Anyway, I won't be around much on PC, if at all, any more because I feel like I am just attention seeking by being here. Just because I don't have a diagnosis anymore, doesn't mean my suffering has magically diminished! I'm fed up of people thinking that I'm malingering!

All the best guys!

*Willow*

i talked to my therapist about my eating habits and she wanted me to tell my doctor. i said no. because i dont want to end up with an ED diagnosis.

im scared they will forcibly medicate me or court order me. believe me im scared.

It's prescription you have to get it from a doctor...either a general practionioner or a pdoc. Personally I would bring it up with your pdoc she probably is more aware of how it works along with your meds.

You're in college right? Can you do work study...a lot of those jobs are super flexible and often have educational components like you can do research in a lab or just wash dishes or sometimes office work etc...but you need to qualify for it on fafsa then find a job that will take it. But the pay is high because half your salary comes from the government.

I have to admit, yes.
You did. Your thoughts were clearer and your conversations were clearer.(((hug)))

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Well, i guess your stuck with us now....
Sorry!

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I guess it depends on how mentally strong I am at the moment.

Art, reading, coming here, pacing, or just huddled on the couch.

Depending on how tired my brain is at the time. Ya know?

Often, making myself do something complicated where I have to hyper focus on it works well.

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Well I just talked to my psych nurses nurse and they said they won't prescribe metformin bc it hasn't been approved for helping with ap weight gain.

Idk what I'm gonna do. Increasing the latuda is more than likely going to make me get anxiety and insomnia again. But the risperdal is gonna make me even more overweight. If this is gonna be my life, I don't want it.

Muscle stiffness and akathisia arrrrgghhhhh

I think you should talk to your dad about it because you trust him. Remember when he didn't want you to go off the injection? You really were doing better but you were also miserable on that. I'm concerned that if you don't get back on the meds you might end up in the hospital and even worse might end up getting forced treatment. You worked so hard to get off the shot...I know getting off the meds entirely is the easiest method to lose weight but why not try the metformin with your meds along with diet and exercise before giving up on the haldol entirely? Also I'm sorry that you feel lousy and are stuck between a rock and a hard place...

And newtus u did seem calmer on the meds.

I wish my back wasn't hurt so we could inspire each other to work out.

But I can't do much with my back problem.

Im so sorry your scared every day. I really am.
(((hug))) I know....I hug too much. But I mean it.

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Is it because they are np's? That's just called off label use and it's totally allowed for full docs to do...

Ummm....
You cant leave because we look forward to seeing your posts every day.
And updates on your family.

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Bean was on it and it worked by supressing her appetite. Then suddenly medicaid would not cover it because its not proven to work. Ugg!

Maybe see how much it costs? It may be very inexpensive to pay cash.

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yea my anxiety is sky high. as tall as the empire state building is.

i dont think i can talk to my dad abuot this. only about my symptoms. he already has a suspicion i stopped my meds. i lied to him and told him i didnt.

ill try to ask bout metaformin.

how is my conversation worse? i cant tell.

but i feel myself becoming aggressive.

please dont leave willow. i enjoy ur presence on these boards

Well she's a psychiatric nurse practitioner. And it's bs bc she prescribed me an ointment that wasn't med related.

They will have to fight with my insurance over it and I don't think they want to do that. She said to go to my gp but she's not gonna do it I guarantee. She isn't helpful at all.

i feel so tired. and i even drank a 5 hour energy. now im paranoid. ugh. stupid. shouldnt have drank it. i knew they increase my symptoms. but i wanted to go to bed at a normal hour. isntead of like 5pm. and we decrease the risperdal tonight. so i dont know. maybe i should take a prn.

Just the things you say. Your thinking and beliefs. Anxiety, agression, just thinking about acting and listening to what the voices are telling you to do.

Paranoia..everything right now is very, very increased. You are having a hard time figuring out reality my dear.

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Willow I'm not sick and I still hang out here...you do a lot of good helping and supporting other people and we all have issues from time to time on roll call like right now I want to say it's actually snowing pretty substantially outside and that kind of sucks...I had just bought a geranium and a couple of mini roses that have to hang out inside for at least the next week...anyway stick around and do some good...

999 who wants to start the new one?

Sombody?

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