Roll Call 21

i texted with T. i told him im only taking 400mg of the 600mg of seroquel they told me to take. because the 600mg made me feel weird and scared me. and i had akathesia. friday night was rough because of the internet stuff with my friend committing suicide and me looking up my old therapist. i was hearing a woman talk far away and a baby crying while i was trying to go to sleep. he said taking 400mg is ok as long as its working and it is. hopefully il be off risperdal pills tomorrow. T and i are meeting at 3 tomorrow when i get off work. he is happy for me about my job. yay

It doesn't look like ur over weight at all from the pic u posted. Have u gained any weight from the risperdal and seroquel? I gained 50lbs on seroquel. My weight fluctuates with the risperdal.

How are u managing not gaining weight?

i have gained weight from the risperdal. i dont eat that much but its hard to lose the weight. i had an eating disorder that im recovered from but i still think about my body negatively. i would like to get off risperdal so ican lose the weight. and i think latuda has less side effects and i had a genetic test done and it said latuda would be best for me so i want to try it. when i was a teenager i gained a lot of weight from seroqeul. that what amped up my eating disorder. now i just dont eat when i take it. even tho it makes me hungry. i just try to go to bed

Still think my nurse and Dr could be part of MK ULTRA, I really hope not, but it was part of the message I got.

Hope this Mets games isnt going to suck.

Yeah the latuda decreased my appetite. I lost weight on it. But I couldn't handle the insomnia and anxiety on it. So now I'm only on 20mgs. Tomorrow I up it to 40mgs. I hope I'm able to handle it.

Yeah, you should give it a try.

4mg a day if haldol. i used to be on 100mg injection of haldol but i changed docs quick cause they were just chemically restraining me.

I understand. Sometimes I feel like one my sisters just wants me medicated so I'll behave and not talk or get upset over certain things. You know, keep me quiet. But I don't feel that with my other sisters, I trust them. For now I need the meds.

But yeah the shot was probably too much.

well T and my pdoc are worried that i wont take my meds if im not on the shot. so i have to convince them that i will which is hard

Well just do whatever you have to to convince them.

Ok I'm getting offline for awhile, I need to eat and take my meds. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Whoa, weird, that's exactly the dosages I was supposed to take vs. took right before I had another psychotic break... But if it works for you I wouldn't worry.

Newtus, I tried skimping on my meds to lose weight and it ended really badly. Please stay safe.

Well the Mets game definitely sucks now.

My nurse is still concerned about me, I think I'm so close to hospital, I hope not, but I'm scared and when they do come for me, I'll be in hospital for a very long time. It's just a no win situation.

first of all kureha take the abilify. dont brings knives to the situations. and best not to talk to these stalkers because they will ALWAYS lie to you. always. and try to be on your best behavior when you see the nurse and pdoc. best not to bring up the stalkers anymore. i know its hard. but its best not to.

They are going to stab me though, so I need it for self defence.

Maybe its best I quit the meds and the CMHT

dont quit the meds kureha

I can't get the meds from the gp, no CMHT no meds.

I'm quitting the forum as well, I'm on my own with this.

Preach all you want but who's going to save me - so true lyrics

then dont quit the cmht. when i was in that situation i didnt tell them everything. when i did tell them stuff i ended up in the hospital. even if i tell them stuff now i could be in the hospital. dont tell them certain stuff.

KUREHA stop. your not on your own with this. you know that.

Were here if you need to talk. You know that.
We just want to see you stay out of hospital.
NEWTUS and you have a lot in common.
She knows what she is talking about Kureha.
Were all friends here on roll call. Take her advice if you want to stay out of hospital.
Want to go to hospital? Then carry a knife and talk to police and nurse about beingTI.
We understand but they dont my friend.
We know your tired of all this crap. Were here to listen.
(((hug)))

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i feel like the gears in my head are turning to psychotic level. i actually feel something in my head changing. i just ripped some papers off my wall and cussed myseld out. idk whats happening to me.

My guess would be that you dont have enough meds in you.
This is what happens when you go off them.
Are you going to try to ride it out or maybe take a dose? (((hug)))

im gonna try to ride it out. past few days ive been off meds. but im starting to not be able to tell whats real or not. everything is feeling real and i feel it coming over my body. my body feels like anxious. i even feel it in my teeth.

god.
this is extremely hard.

Can you try grounding or distraction? Or stay with someone so you're safe?

Whoa when I had my psychosis I could feel my brain slipping. I called our crisis line and tried to talk myself out of it with her. But yeah, I know what u mean. I could feel my brain moving away from reality.

It's scary. I wish u wouldn't stop ur meds newtus. Ur not over weight. I'm 5ft 2in too. My GOAL weight is 160. I would Love to be 130 again. But I feel ok at 160. I personally don't like skinny though. I think women look better with curves.

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