[blackwhitered]

The other one was getting long so here's #21...

You know what to do.

[newtus]

i wasnt even watching it. wow.

[blackwhitered]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

My wife had lactation as a medication side effect and it made her breasts very painful. **Extra TMI warning, but she did get some relief from manually expressing the milk once per day, and also from wearing very tight sports bras because they reduced any jiggling. She discontinued the medication due to many negative side effects including this. Lactation aloneis justification to change meds usually, but if you are otherwise happy with the meds effects, hopefully you can find ways to tolerate it.

Yeah, I was on thorazine before and had the same side effect. I'm on both thorazine and geodon now. I was just on geodon before and didn't get this side effect so it's most likely the thorazine again. I told my social worker and am meeting with my psychiatrist on the 3rd. They said that if it's working they might not change it because I have difficulty taking pretty much all other APs because of weight gain. I would probably take lactation over weight gain so yeah.

On an unrelated note, does anyone know anything about MRIs? I've been having (possibly delusional) thoughts that I have brain damage and it's really distressing so I feel like having one would put my mind at ease. If I need a legitimate reason to get one, I can always point to the fact that I was supposed to get tested for epilepsy and never did... I just hate this obsessive thought...

[Gr3tta]

I had a brain mri before. The main bad part was how loud all the knocking was. But otherwise not too scary.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by blackwhitered

Yeah, I was on thorazine before and had the same side effect. I'm on both thorazine and geodon now. I was just on geodon before and didn't get this side effect so it's most likely the thorazine again. I told my social worker and am meeting with my psychiatrist on the 3rd. They said that if it's working they might not change it because I have difficulty taking pretty much all other APs because of weight gain. I would probably take lactation over weight gain so yeah.

On an unrelated note, does anyone know anything about MRIs? I've been having (possibly delusional) thoughts that I have brain damage and it's really distressing so I feel like having one would put my mind at ease. If I need a legitimate reason to get one, I can always point to the fact that I was supposed to get tested for epilepsy and never did... I just hate this obsessive thought...

Did you have any kind of brain scan at all like a CT when you were diagnosed if not then you should to rule out stuff like tumor etc. the epilepsy usually that's an EEG which you should also get if there is any chance of that usually unusual hallucinations like olfactory often unresponsive to APs.

Honestly I would rather have a CT than an MRI because those take forever I think like an hour and they are really loud the CT is pretty fast but it's like an x-Ray instead of magnets and less detailed...

[blackwhitered]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Did you have any kind of brain scan at all like a CT when you were diagnosed if not then you should to rule out stuff like tumor etc. the epilepsy usually that's an EEG which you should also get if there is any chance of that usually unusual hallucinations like olfactory often unresponsive to APs.

Honestly I would rather have a CT than an MRI because those take forever I think like an hour and they are really loud the CT is pretty fast but it's like an x-Ray instead of magnets and less detailed...

I did have a CT scan to see if I had any injuries or tumors in my head, but I feel like that's not enough.

I was supposed to get tested for epilepsy because I have panoramic visual hallucinations in addition to other visuals... and there was one incident where I had an "aura" before some bad breakthrough hallucinations... I know they usually use EEGs but I don't think that can pick up brain damage. I don't think I have epilepsy but that nagging thought that I have brain damage somehow just won't go away... I'm like having flashbacks to every time I've hit my head, held my breath for too long, fasted, etc. and I just can't shake the feeling that this is my fault...

But if it is delusional, then maybe I shouldn't get one because that's like giving into delusions. So idk.

[Gr3tta]

Would you get a choice sometimesp? I have never had a docor ask me which diagnostic test i would like!

[blackwhitered]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

Would you get a choice sometimesp? I have never had a docor ask me which diagnostic test i would like!

True. But I can dream, can't I? lol

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by blackwhitered

I did have a CT scan to see if I had any injuries or tumors in my head, but I feel like that's not enough.

I was supposed to get tested for epilepsy because I have panoramic visual hallucinations in addition to other visuals... and there was one incident where I had an "aura" before some bad breakthrough hallucinations... I know they usually use EEGs but I don't think that can pick up brain damage. I don't think I have epilepsy but that nagging thought that I have brain damage somehow just won't go away... I'm like having flashbacks to every time I've hit my head, held my breath for too long, fasted, etc. and I just can't shake the feeling that this is my fault...

But if it is delusional, then maybe I shouldn't get one because that's like giving into delusions. So idk.

Well it's not going to hurt you to get one if your insurance will cover it...if it's truly delusional you'll continue to think you have damage even after the MRI so it will be a wash though. Just make sure you don't have anything metal because it will get ripped off...

[junkDNA]

i feel so hot and idk why. i turned on the ac. lol. ughhh. i hate being hot!

[Gr3tta]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Well it's not going to hurt you to get one if your insurance will cover it...if it's truly delusional you'll continue to think you have damage even after the MRI so it will be a wash though. Just make sure you don't have anything metal because it will get ripped off...

I guess that was my thinking - insurance only covers what the doctor asks for, not what the patient asks for. But i do see your point.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

Would you get a choice sometimesp? I have never had a docor ask me which diagnostic test i would like!

Well sort of I had gone to a normal ER twice in two weeks and gotten a head CT twice based on the whole crazy thing but they didn't treat me...then I got admitted to the psych ward and was supposed to have an MRI...I filled out the paperwork but never got it...pdoc asked why and I didn't know and he found out on the question with are you pregnant yes no I had written in maybe....because of my rape delusion... well we got to talking and I said I already had a head scan and he wanted to know exactly what and then he said oh well you don't need an MRI then...so in this case they are pretty interchangeable but the MRI is much more sensitive but since they are pretty much trying to rule out tumors which are big or large missing sections or bleeding which is apparent etc a CT is apparently good enough.

[blackwhitered]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Well it's not going to hurt you to get one if your insurance will cover it...if it's truly delusional you'll continue to think you have damage even after the MRI so it will be a wash though. Just make sure you don't have anything metal because it will get ripped off...

I guess you're probably right... I'm trying to tell myself that if I am brain damaged, it's too late to do anything about it, so it makes no difference if I know for sure... It just makes me sad to think that things could have been different if I'd just been smarter and more careful...

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

I guess that was my thinking - insurance only covers what the doctor asks for, not what the patient asks for. But i do see your point.

Oh I think I answered the question wrong I assumed you meant choice of which test but maybe you meant choice about getting the test at all? I'm pretty sure my pdoc would have written up any tests I wanted or talked me out of it if it was not reasonable...like I asked him if it could be due to an infectious disease and he said it was super rare and unlikely so I gave up on that one...

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by blackwhitered

I guess you're probably... I'm trying to tell myself that if I am brain damaged, it's too late to do anything about it, so it makes no difference if I know for sure... It just makes me sad to think that things could have been different if I'd just been smarter and more careful...

Yeah if it were one of my delusions I would immediately assume the docs were lying for some reason maybe they were in league with whoever...maybe they didn't want me to know that half my brain was already gone or maybe they actually showed me a pic of somebody else's brain so I would think everything was OK. Actually I don't think a lot of outright brain damage causes psychosis it usually causes loss of function not gain of stuff like hallucinations and even the medical/neurological causes are typically like very boring hallucinations like spots and auras but not people or animals or other stuff that moves...now epilepsy I think it's reasonable to get and EEG to rule that out because it's electrical and and not structural...and those hallucinations can be anything and it's very real...

[Sometimes psychotic]

Can we blame the brain? | ScienceNordic

This all reminds me of this guy apparently his IQ was only 84 but he was a perfectly Normal working dude till they scanned his brain for an unrelated problem and found out it was hollow...

[blackwhitered]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Yeah if it were one of my delusions I would immediately assume the docs were lying for some reason maybe they were in league with whoever...maybe they didn't want me to know that half my brain was already gone or maybe they actually showed me a pic of somebody else's brain so I would think everything was OK. Actually I don't think a lot of outright brain damage causes psychosis it usually causes loss of function not gain of stuff like hallucinations and even the medical/neurological causes are typically like very boring hallucinations like spots and auras but not people or animals or other stuff that moves...now epilepsy I think it's reasonable to get and EEG to rule that out because it's electrical and and not structural...and those hallucinations can be anything and it's very real...

The reason they thought I had an aura was because I felt uncomfortable/like something was going to happen before the breakthrough hallucinations and paranoia hit. But that could have been a panic attack, who knows?

I just feel like I'm getting more stupid and I get the feeling that doctors are laughing at me because they think I'm stupid. Or they're playing along with me because they don't want me to know I have brain damage. It's like I can look back on specific points in my life where I got hit in the head or did something stupid and I can't help but think my brain is damaged. And then I feel like if my brain weren't damaged I would've been able to deal with stress and hallucinations better instead of going crazy like I did...

[Gr3tta]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Oh I think I answered the question wrong I assumed you meant choice of which test but maybe you meant choice about getting the test at all? I'm pretty sure my pdoc would have written up any tests I wanted or talked me out of it if it was not reasonable...like I asked him if it could be due to an infectious disease and he said it was super rare and unlikely so I gave up on that one...

Well i think choice for most people is answered by whether they can get it paid for by insurance. And usually that means getting it ordered by your doctor.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by blackwhitered

The reason they thought I had an aura was because I felt uncomfortable/like something was going to happen before the breakthrough hallucinations and paranoia hit. But that could have been a panic attack, who knows?

I just feel like I'm getting more stupid and I get the feeling that doctors are laughing at me because they think I'm stupid. Or they're playing along with me because they don't want me to know I have brain damage. It's like I can look back on specific points in my life where I got hit in the head or did something stupid and I can't help but think my brain is damaged. And then I feel like if my brain weren't damaged I would've been able to deal with stress and hallucinations better instead of going crazy like I did...

You might actually be getting less smart either due to the illness or the meds...for me the meds were suppressing about 15 IQ points active psychosis was worse though more like 40 points...it's in no way permanent once you are stable you will get it back...it's not really damage though just some sort of suppression...are you doing anything to counteract it like brain games or anything...that's supposed to help...

[newtus]

i had a ct scan once. that was all. it was cause i told the doctor i had my head attracting people and thought it had a metal object in it or device. i was psychotic.

[blackwhitered]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

You might actually be getting less smart either due to the illness or the meds...for me the meds were suppressing about 15 IQ points active psychosis was worse though more like 40 points...it's in no way permanent once you are stable you will get it back...it's not really damage though just some sort of suppression...are you doing anything to counteract it like brain games or anything...that's supposed to help...

I was tested with a high IQ but I was told there were abnormalities. The proctor said it was most likely because of the meds and that I wasn't eating at the time, but I keep thinking it's just proof I'm brain damaged. My dad and a first cousin have IQs in the 160s so I feel like I should have been like them...
The only thing I'm doing right now intellectually is trying to graduate. I haven't been practicing French and German so my foreign language skills are rusty. Once I graduate I'm going to take a year off/go to community college before I go to university. I need to get some academic credits because I lost my junior and most of my senior years to being in the hospital. My dad went to community college because he had to drop out of high school due to drug problems, and he still ended up going to an Ivy League school, so there's hope.

On a completely unrelated note, I kind of want to get a tattoo. I want a small puzzle piece on my wrist. I know the puzzle piece is supposed to be for autism, but to me it represents putting my life back together. (I love 3D puzzles, too, so it's not completely serious.)

[blackwhitered]

Here is a very poorly drawn image of what I want to get (but it would be on the other wrist-- I'm a righty.)

[newtus]

ive actually switched my AD to night by accident. im just gonna keep it like that.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by blackwhitered

I was tested with a high IQ but I was told there were abnormalities. The proctor said it was most likely because of the meds and that I wasn't eating at the time, but I keep thinking it's just proof I'm brain damaged. My dad and a first cousin have IQs in the 160s so I feel like I should have been like them...
The only thing I'm doing right now intellectually is trying to graduate. I haven't been practicing French and German so my foreign language skills are rusty. Once I graduate I'm going to take a year off/go to community college before I go to university. I need to get some academic credits because I lost my junior and most of my senior years to being in the hospital. My dad went to community college because he had to drop out of high school due to drug problems, and he still ended up going to an Ivy League school, so there's hope.

On a completely unrelated note, I kind of want to get a tattoo. I want a small puzzle piece on my wrist. I know the puzzle piece is supposed to be for autism, but to me it represents putting my life back together. (I love 3D puzzles, too, so it's not completely serious.)

Yeah my cousin has 165 so even with my 140-150 I was considered subpar...but two years after my break it was 125-128 on the meds and I had weird things like I could not unscramble the word giraffe I mean it's not like there are many things that could be. Now it all makes sense again and I'm back up to 140 of course this is all unofficial quick tests but they seem to be pretty consistent when I take them close together...ie I'm usually thinking they are horribly wrong so I'll take another one from another source and score within a few points. But yeah it's obvious you're really smart but what I'm saying is you might actually be slipping relative to your normal function to the point where you are noticing it...

If you want to do training I highly recommend lumosity it takes like 10-15 minutes to train and you're supposed to do it 3-5 days a week. I find it really energizing like I can concentrate better after doing the exercises....I have no idea why because it's not like it really has anything to do with intelligence it's just a bunch of games but it's kind of like how a small appetizer can make you more hungry...

[newtus]

[deleted]