Roll Call 21

Ambien. Or the generic of. It is the first thing that has ever worked!
Most sleep meds make me super hyper instead, or dont work at all. Or by the time i have taken enough to get sleepy, i cant wake up.
Ambien makes me hallucinate if i dont lay down and go to sleep, but as long as i do, i go right to sleep and wake up promptly and alertly.

Ambient didn't really work for me. Doxepin, benadryl and lorazepam usually work, but I'm outta the doxepin.

That's good that it works for you.

Benadryl makes me massively psychotic!! I have even become violent on it. I am sorry Ambien didnt work for you.

Whoa about benadryl stay away from that.

Yeah I need 3 meds to sleep, it sucks.

Yea. I had my dr, my neurologist, and the local hospital put it in my record not to give it to me. Since i have other allergies and diphenhydramine is pretty much standard protocal, its important. One time i was given it on accident and i kept hyperventilating because i was afraid i had forgotten how to breath but i wouldn't let my wife tell the nurse because she was "in on it." Its kinda funny now but at the time i was genuinely afraid i might not get out alive!
I'm sorry you have to work so hard to sleep.

just got back from visiting Bean.
She is all over the place right now. we left after an hour. She was becoming agitated and frustrated with us just visiting.

Its okay. We expected it to be this way. As long as she remembers we were there and that we love her. They should be starting to titrate the Clozaril this week.We miss heer so much.

She will be there for a while. My fear is that at 14, she will be in hospital so long and often that she becomes institutionalized mentally and that we lose the family connection and relationship. Does that make sense?

Seems everyone has sleep issues. I take clonapin for sleep every night. Yea, im hooked. Been on it for years but ya know what? I sleep. Dont fix what aint broken. Its the only med I take and im sure it helps the rest of the day for anxiety to some degree too or else I would be much worse.

And yea.....Benadryl turned Bean manic when I tried it for her too! lol

oh, and we put the house up for sale. The way things are going though it may take a while to sell but were praying it sells in the next 6 months or so. Then we can move to SC where family is close to help us and support.

Yeah it's been this way since I gave birth 18 yrs ago. After I had my son I couldn't sleep or eat and now when I look back I think it was the beginning of bipolar for me.

Since then I've had to take something for sleep. Then 3 yrs ago I went into that psychosis. It was horrible not sleeping or eating for 5 days. I was completely delusional. So sleep is really important for me.

Can't wait to see the psych nurse...

@Punky-one of my friends has a young child who doesnt sleep and she keeps trying childrens benadryl. I keep trying to gently suggest that this may be compounding the problem but getting nowhere.
Hope Bean will be feeling much better very soon.

Sorry bean was so upset. Hopefully things will calm down for her.

Yeah taking klonopin really isn't a big deal. If it works I wouldn't worry about it. I've been on lorazepam for 3 yrs. For me I'm hoping I can stabilize and cut back and then stop. It's gonna be awhile though. I'm also hoping to eventually be able to get off APs. The psych nurse said if I can stay stable for a year we will think about it. But if it works for you right on.

Do they let you call or Skype....also think about bringing a care basket...my friends brought me a few books and some snacks...the rules are different everywhere so I would check with the desk like I couldn't have a plant cutting in water but they kept it at the desk for me...anything from home is comforting...

It is a gorgeous day here in Dallas today! Beautiful sunshine, not too hot either. I think it's like 75. Perfect weather. I've been inside for hours now working on organizing my book shelves and rearranging my bedroom. I was listening to music while doing it and that was really nice. I am really tired now and just realized I am super hungry. So I think I'll go grab a bite to eat with my daughter. Today has been a super good day despite waking up early with a nightmare.

my moms on me about my weight again. saying i need to lose a few pounds. cant take this. IM...TRYING.

the paranoia is bad today. and my nerves are SO JUMPY. partly cuz this trip im nervous and then partly cause my illness. my sz is making it worse becuase im getting voices about how the plane will crash and stuff. so im not well right now. actually not by any means because of my nerves and paranoia. im scared ill be followed to california by gangstalkers.

really? i think its hot!

It says it's 73 on my weather feed. It feels awesome to me.

Newtus pls don't listen to ur mom. Ur fine. My mom used to get on me too. They are from a different generation is how I see it cuz I would never do that to my daughter if I had one.

Can u tell her that u do not want to discuss it anymore. If she continues leave the area. I'm sorry she's doing that to you.

Thanks Gr3tta.
Bean never slept until she was 12 and put on Zyprexa!
We would wake up in the morning and find the house a mess from her antics during the night. It was hard......(sigh)

BUT....Melatonin did work on occasion.
It can be bought right in walmart vitamin section and is all natural. one or two pills or chewables at night. The problem is that your body seems to adjust to it so maybe try every other night but I have heard other parents say it works when nothing else does too.

Its 39 here....a heat wave! Really!
weather report says 40's this coming week. The snow is finally melting. Finally

We have seen pics of you girl.
You are beautiful just the way you are. Never let someone else tell you what you should look like or how big or small you should be.

You are YOU- and if you are concerned with being overweight, we do not see it from your videos or pictures.

I'm in your boat! ...Which has been trapped in the ice since what, October? Yesterday was really freaky- it was 42 And Snowing!!! WTF??? (yes, other people saw it too.)

I DO believe you.
I have a picture of a raging blizzard with a beautiful sunset over the mountain from a few weeks ago here. Freaky weather. And yes....sept/oct-may kind of winters here too.
The rule is no outdoor planting until June 1st or frost will get it.

I just added a signature, I wanna see how it looks, lol.

nope. Dont see it....

nvmd..
very nice!

Here... and there.

Cool that's exactly the concept underlying mindfulness mediation....