Roll Call 26

Yes I do, a lot of people are intimidated by me because of it actually.

A strong self esteem is very healthy.

I can totally relate to being critical about my body. I am super critical because I am over weight. Wall to wall mirrors would send me on an anxiety overload! Lol!

everytime i wash my hands a couple of minutes and then when i pull out my hair from trichotillomania - from 3-10 minutes each couple of hours or so. then a few minutes in the morning and night looking at my body. cuz im trying to lose weight so i visually measure the progress as well as on the scale and stuff. of course i like myself when im skinnier. i used to have better self esteem than now.

I don't think it's an esteem thing for me so much as a boredom thing....if I could blink to change my hair or skin color add temporary tats jewel/stone based embellishments etc I totally would spend forever customizing like I do on game characters but I like my natural hair color length etc it's already optimized to go from work to play etc it you know 5 minutes later if I could do silver hair with purple highlights and a stream of butterflies trailing down my neck I'd do that. But give that 5 minutes and I'd want turquoise checkerboard with white. No way would I ever do these thing because I have to goto work and it still takes a while to wash/grow out and I would have little tolerance for red growing in atop my perfect checkerboard but no desire to maintain the blue indefinitely.

I like how I look and who I am as a person. Just not who I am at this very moment, in this chapter in my life.

I am kind, independant, outgoing and a hard worker. Time to be that woman again. She just got lost for a little while.

Im workin on it......

punky

Check your PM Punky

I wonder what's up with sunshine today....

What did the police, your nurse and doctor do that made you believe you would die?

Why did they put you in jail in the first place... Instead of just taking you to the hospital?

I'm really sorry that you had to endure such a scary experience... But I'm glad the Red Cross was there for you.

Do any of you suffer from migraines?
If so, how long do they last for you?
Are they just on one side of your head or both sides?
What helps?

i do.
really bad.

they can last up to two days or overnight for me. they can be on either side or both. they are usually stress related for me so sleep doesnt always help but i try to sleep it off. or take a xanax (becuz stress-related) or an excedrine migraine tablet.

Crescent - my nurse knew the police are going to kill me, she called them on purpose and the date was right.

I got arrested for trying to go for a walk, seriously that was why - breach of the peace, just so they could get me in the cells.
I was seriously freaked out.

Did you leave your knife at home that day?
Maybe they thought you had it with you. I remember them warnimg you about not taking it on walks or you would be arrested.
Why on that date? What made it important?
Im just glad you are alive and here to talk to.

punky

--cracking I'm here.

I don't but when I was on latuda I would get them. They were horrible. Sorry u get them.

How are you today?

I took 2 Excedrin Migraine pills yesterday and 3 today. This migraine is still going full force! I feel like the left side of my head is in a vice. I continue to feel as if I'm going to throw up. I HATE this! Just laying in bed with a heating pad on my head! This SUCKS!!!!

I'm doing ok. Sounds like ur having a hard day though.

Ice won't help? Maybe u need to see the doctor about it.

Heat helps better. I don't have health insurance and am not working right now. I don't receive pay in the summer. So no money available to see a doctor. I'll just have to ride it out. Sucks big time!

How are things going with that guy?

Sometimes taking a hot shower helps.
Aim it below your neck. It draws the blood down out of your head. It actually works on occasion.

punky

I'm not really sure. Haven't really talked to him in the last couple days. I think I'm just gonna forget about it. Happy he didn't meet my son and that I didn't sleep with him...he showed me a side I didn't really like. He was drunk, but for that to happen this soon. Not a good sign...

Punky - I didnt have my knife, because the hospital wouldn't have been impressed.

See the date was the 20th, which sitting I realised that it was and its the reverse of my birthday and in the hospital I had big problems with numbers, I did tell the nurse, but she said what I said was delusional.

Im glad you didnt have your knife. That would have made things so much worse.

It may have been delusional thinking in regards to the date and numbers. If you have a problem with numbers then just the stress of the situation could bring on a delusion such as that.

So you are out of hospital. What is the plan from here?
Will the nurse be visiting as usual? What meds are you on now?

Sorry you have to go through this crap...

punky