Roll Call 27

im taking me meds. this is what im talking about. i feel like im entering psychosis again

Might be the smoking? You said you increased how much you smoke...you might be counteracting the med....

i didnt think about that. my dAd also said the alcohol im comsuming might affect it.

I know personally my meds don't work when I drink alcohol. So that could be it, newtus.

Yeah I don't know about the alcohol combo but pretty much all the APs say not to do it....it reminds me of the old-fashioned abstinence teachings where all the kids were getting pregnant because they didn't know about protection/birth control. Point blank no's just aren't super effective when it comes to people. Anyway all I could find associated with alcohol was sedation and increased side effects of the med...I didn't see anything about ineffectiveness. The smoking though cuts the drug levels in half or more which is major I'm just not sure if it takes into account levels of smoking or if it's a smoking vs not smoking thing that doesn't seem to have been specifically studied but logically it makes sense that tripling your smoking rate would increase the impact.

thanks for that

Some one is listening to my thoughts I think they are putting me through tests to collect data from how I react to different situations I think I was abducted when I was a child and had a implant put in my brain and everything I have been through and learned has been recorded my whole life has been one giant experiment and now that I am older they are following me because I have started to become aware of these things and what is going on around me and I have been connecting all of this together so they are thinking I may be dangerous or a threat to their experimental plan or something and that is why they are following me and watching where I go and what I do.to watch me and make sure I dont try to expose them.

it is the only explanation I can come up with right now.it all makes so much overwhelming sense I know this is all true so please believe me this is not some delusion I know this stuff has to be real I am the one going through it I know it sounds crazy to people who dont really understand but this is all true and I feel so scared and I dont know what to do and I cant tell my family or loved ones I cant put them in possible danger from knowing to much like me they might start getting stalked too.and I cant tell my pdoc or others they will think its part of my mental illness I am at a loss.

The above story is very common , i had a similar story when i was psychotic and if i had it chances are alot of people on this forum had it. Try not to isolate yourself. Communication is so important , if you cant talk to your parents , then this is no good. Eventually i got well enough to realise that the pdocs were right , that my brain had turned obsessive and i was suffering from delusions.

Newtus , the meds , have to be taken consistently to work. Because you take them for 3 consecutive days , it probably will not be therapeutic , you have to take them consistently for a reasonable amount of time, at therapeutic dosage.

So it's 4am and I'm wide awake....starting to wonder if my new pdoc wasn't right about my sleep being linked to stress/anxiety after the fact. I man I feel fine but I wonder if I'm subconsciously processing the stuff still. It's just so oddly consistent with what I experienced after that meeting this spring....I mean she was wrong about the circadian rhythm thing but she might have been right about me....is suppose that's a good thing but part of me would rather be right....

What do you think your sleeping issues are stemming from?

I don't know...I mean it's happening after stress when I feel relaxed and relieved it's over and I'm not really overthinking every detail or anything like that but I wonder if it can change your body chemistry or if I'm having bad dreams or something....the fact that it's occurring at the same time every time suggests it's a sleep cycle thing but I don't remember my dreams so I don't know if I'm in the dream part of sleep or not.

If I am being followed I need proof so others will know I am not crazy what if they try to take me away though what if that is their plan all along they want me contained in one place so they can watch me day and night like a animal in a zoo should I just talk to them when they are watching me should I approach these people and let them know that I am fully aware they are watching me.no I am not stupid that would be the worst possible thing that I could do.I literally just had this conversation with myself out loud and my mum heard me and asked if I was ok.no I am not ok I am falling to pieces over here I dont know what to do I am losing it again I need to see my pdoc about this but I dont know if I should tell him about these people who are stalking me.because that part is real I am not so sure if the connections my wandering mind is trying to make to it are real but the stalking is not made up it is real.

Explain to me how this is a delusion.there are people who will stand in locations i usually travel to they wait for me as soon as they see me they pick up their cell phone dial it and look over at me and then walk away and look back a few times at me watching where I am heading to.they are always different people but they stand in the same locations.once they know a place I commonly go to they appear there as well.they all do the same thing they try to act like they arent up to something suspicious but the way they act is a dead give away.

hope u got some sleep SometimesP

newtus i agree with Materly. you have to consistently take the Haldol for it to work. it seems like u stop it and start it a lot and u probably dont have the right level in your system

This morning my "MH team" made a surprise visit to introduce me to my new "care coordinator". It's all a load of crap. I almost blurted out. "I know you are spies!" But I bit my tongue and kept quiet despite my desperate urge to call them out on what they're really up to. They were talking about upping my medication. I know why. They want to turn me into a mindless drone with their mind control pills. Right now the dose is so low it doesn't do a thing. I'm only taking the damn tablets so they don't get suspicious and realize I know something's a miss. Thankfully they only stayed for ten minutes. The voices keep telling me I should have fulfilled my mission and confronted them. But my set date to confront them is when they arrive on Monday. So, I'll just have to bide my time until then.

Your mum seems to really care about you and how you are feeling. Can you talk to her about this?

punky

well i took half of a 250mg metformin at 7 30am. so far i feel all right. no weird head feeling or headache. yay!

My life is always so busy now. I am training new people to help me if I want to take time off or when I get overwhelmed. That's good. But, it's exhausting to train people and I have no time for anything else.

I just wanted to come in and say hi.

i had a nightmare my dad was gonna be shot. i quickly woke up and took all my meds. plus my anxiety meds. this realy disturbed me.

assuming i was in a psychotic state of mind - could not having taken my haldol cause nightmares and anxiety?

I would surely think so.
How you feeling today?

punky

Nightmares have been recently shown to be associated with later development of schizophrenia....so basically they are an early indicator of psychosis.

Here is an article

http://www.newsweek.com/2014/04/18/c...ht-248111.html

I have no idea if antipsychotics prevent them or not...that hasn't been studied yet so far as I can tell.

i still feel loads of anxiety. its like the haldol didnt even work or even the anxiety meds didnt work. with that i feel loads of paranoia. i cant even step on my porch to smoke. i feel like im being watched. but i had to step outside at 6am this morning for a smoke to calm me down which didnt really work. idk whatt im going to do. i feel like im about to come undone and do something that ends me up in the hospital.