Roll Call 27

No not u at all. more the ones that think they know it all. Ppl that are like, I'm proud to be bp!! Not me, it sucks. Bp is way too over diagnosed imo. They just annoy me....

Well take ur time and open up at ur own pace.

Yeah it is over diagnosed. I see people posting there who clearly do not have bipolar.

I know. I was in a bp group once that had ppl that weren't bp imo. They thought they were cool, it's so stupid...

Bp sucks! Finding the balance is hard as ****! Having to take all these meds, the side effects. There's one slice of it that's incredible. The hypo mania. If only we/i could will it to happen, lol. The rest sucks...

ok so i saw pdoc and T. we are gonna try the Metformin. starting at 250mg twice a day for 3 days then 500mg twice a day. pdoc said i looked better and noticed that i was smiling. T said that i am getting more and more stable. he also printed out an journal article for me. about recovery. i hung out with my friend. i have to get up at 5 30am tomorrow. so im not looking forward to that.

Exactly. I'm still trying to stabilize my bipolar and I haven't yet. I'm manic as hell right now.

Bipolar has ruined my life just as much as the "schizo" part of my illness. This isn't glamorous.

how can you tell when someones not bipolar or sz for that matter?

I know, I feel over medicated right now. I don't see the psych nurse until the 25th. I'm trying really hard not to mess with my meds. I feel like I know just as much as the psych nurse, sometimes. I've lowered one already. But it seems like I go mixed anymore rather than hypo since I went into that psychosis. I'm really lacking motivation right now...I'm afraid to raise my ad though, I don't want bad mania. It's just a guessing game it seems...

Well, imo when their mood changes rapidly. I personally don't buy into rapid cycling. Idk, I fought being bipolar. It wasn't until I didn't eat or sleep for 5 days and went into the psychosis and ended up in the hospital that I finally accepted it. It's also just a vibe I get. I may be wrong. I'm irritable, I didn't get enough sleep...

i dont feel good

whats wrong junk?

idk i feel weird mentally and i feel like im gonna barf.....it happened all of a sudden

Can you call or text your T??

i might later if it doesnt go away soon.....im lying down in bed right now to see if that helps

Did you start the new med already?

Did u start the metformin?

no i start it tomorrow

Can you think of anything you did differently today? Ate something different?

Rapid cycling actually means having four or more mood episodes in a year, not hours, not days. A year. So yeah when I hear people talking about their moods changing so fast I end up doubting their diagnosis.

I agree. I'm gonna eat and try and take a nap. I feel like crap.

I fought being bipolar in the beginning too. My psychosis has been relatively under control for the past few years, mostly because I accept now that I'm prone to it and take steps to keep myself functioning - and not just meds, but meditation, socializing, finding projects I'm interested in. I don't know what I'd do without theatre. It has honestly kept me alive on more than one occasion.

Today I hung out with some university classmates and I always feel weird because they talk about the people they don't like, and I WAS the person no one liked in high school, so part of me is worried they're going to decide to hate and make fun of me soon, and part of me just feels so bad for the unpopular kids. I thought university was beyond high school politics but I guess I'm not sure. Is it human to dislike and talk about people?

Also I mentioned how I was doing studies to get money and they all acted weird. I guess they don't get it. To me it's means I'm resourceful and resilient.

I am so tired but I have a 2 hour rehearsal for the play tonight, and then I have to stay up until midnight because that's when course selection for September opens, but the system is so stupid it might take me 2 hours to get on, and then I have to get up at 7 to get ready for my nephrology appointment at 8:45. Not looking forward to it.

EDIT: As far as ultra-rapid cycling, I don't think my pdoc believes in it either. They always want my manias and depressions to last at least 2 weeks before becoming concerned. Technically I was diagnosed rapid cycling, because I had 2 manias and 2 depressions in a year. Some doctors believe ultra-rapid or ultradian cycling exists - I've read it's more common in children and teens, which I can believe.

TheatreKid: I literally just bought your book! I just downloaded it to my Nook

Yeah I was diagnosed with rapid cycling too. But still, that ultradian cycling stuff... eh, I don't know about that. I think it's making the definition of bipolar a bit too broad. But I do see how it could be different in children and teens.

Thanks so much! I hope you like it.

You are very welcome! I do like it!