Roll Call.....#30

Can you have someone else ask?

Me too...but there are other solutions aside from talking to someone....you can get one of those weekly or monthly pill sorters so they are all out of the bottle ahead of time. Alternately they sell timers that fit on instead of lids which are great for remembering whe you last took meds too...you can get these at cvs but this is what they look like...

RX Timer Cap

Another option...I have user a nutcracker or vice grips to get the lid off...I haven't had a problem with this for years so I suspect it's certain pharmacies and the bottles they use...

Well looks like I am on a surprise vacation... In Alabama. The ocean is very calm!

I've been pinching myself a lot lately, almost and to the point of bleeding. Looks like needle wounds XD how will I explain that?

Why have you been pinching yourself, and why are you in Alabama?

1: I feel like I deserve it
2: brother's baseball tournament

Deserve as in good deserve or bad deserve?

Good luck to your brother's team!

Bad deserve.

I'm sorry.

You know punishing yourself is never helpful.

I just feel really worthless. All I do is get in other people's way.

I'm so sorry you feel that way.

I don't believe you're worthless at all. And I think kids, especially in your age ground, tend to feel they're in the way. It's kind of an awkward age - in between being a little kid who's bossed around by adults and having more autonomy like a teen.

Are you the oldest of your parents' children?

Yes I am

You're obviously an intelligent young man. You're at that age when you're trying to answer the question, "Who am I?" I just hope that you don't build your identity around being mentally ill.

It's hard being 12. I distinctly remember that age even though it was 40 years ago. It must be even harder now that it was then.

I don't happen to believe you're worthless, because I don't believe anyone is worthless. You probably do feel like you're underfoot, because, like I said, you're at that awkward age.

All I can say is that it gets easier. It might be better if you didn't go around injuring yourself by pinching yourself and/or telling people the government is brainwashing them (even if you believe it). That's just going to get you tangled up with the mental health system. Sometimes that's helpful, but a lot of the time it's not. JMO

I think I'm having a late mid life crisis - because I've accomplished absolutely nothing at all and I've never going too.

amazingblob, I don't think you're worthless. I agree that 12 is a hard age. I always look forward to seeing your posts here.

I'm learning how to cook... finally, at age 30. Nothing hard. I've mastered potatoes - mashed, hash brown, or cubed. I made pancakes this morning but used a mix. I can do chicken on the frying pan. My experiment for lunch/dinner today is a fast fry pork chop. I've never cooked pork before. It's a little difficult because the oven part of my stove is broken and I can't afford to get it fixed. Everything I cook needs to be cookable by the burners on top of the stove.

Real food costs so much though. I won't be able to eat like this for the whole month. I wish I could afford to make permanent changes, eat more fresh fruit. I'm trying to make changes because of the hypertension/high blood pressure. I don't want to be on blood pressure meds forever.

Thank you!

I don't think I can cope with life any more it's too hard.

ok i did sleep. and i feel better today. right now at least. i think T is ok. he texted me this morning. so i am relieved about that. i hope i get to see my friend today but she drove her sister to the airport in charlotte and thats an hour and a half drive . she called me and said she is tired cuz they left at 8am. she said she is going home to relax for a bit and will call me later or talk to me on facebook. so i hope we get to hang out. i do better when i am not isolating myself. it seems to feed my paranoia. but yeah i feel ok right now. hopefully T can meet with pdoc and me tomorrow. thats the plan anyway.

You're too young for a mid-life crisis.

I doubt that you've accomplished absolutely nothing, and you have no way of knowing what will happen in the future.

Have you considered university again? Online courses maybe?

It's amazing how much help a little sleep can be. I wish you didn't have those two back-to-back shifts coming up where you're there until 10 p.m. then have to be back at 7 a.m. the next morning.

Ok..... I think I just had an INSANE mood swing... Sorry...

I keep going to bed later and later these days. I'm sleeping fine, I'm just staying up very late. I'm not sure why. I think it's partly just summertime... the sun goes down later so I naturally stay up later. It's throwing off my body clock though. I feel way more tired than I usually do in the morning unless I drink a ridiculous amount of coffee.

The Latuda is giving me nausea. That sucks, but otherwise it's been a truly amazing med for me. No weight gain, and it actually works.

Costello - It feels like one, well I'm meant to be starting college in September so I can get the couple points I need for uni, but once the college find out what they are saying about me, they are never going to let me join.

omg i know. im worried about it. i dont do well with little sleep. im dreading it. it's really gonna suck. but i just keep telling myself that i will be able to do it. ive been through worse things