Roll Call 33

Apparently wild fish love benzos too....this article made me think of your comment...

Fish flourish on anxiety drug : Nature News & Comment

got some good sleep finally

Me too

im still paranoid about my car and bike tho. i swear someone set me up. i didnt do this.

Your car probably needs repair---when was the last time you had a mechanic look at it?

Anyone could have moved your bike but I doubt they did anything to it...

my dad fixes my car. hes extremely good with cars. he said he fixed it this morning already.

my dad just said he moved my bike

well there you go then....

yesterday my mom said my thighs and stomach were big. that made me really sad and self conscious

You know the other day you were just saying how you mom was commenting on everyone....so it's about her not you...personally I would go out of my way to be a little odd around her just so she learned some tolerance....

I'm sorry you are sad though and I'm sorry you don't have real therapy to deal with this stuff.

be a little odd around her? what do you mean?

and yea. i should probably consider getting another therapist on the side. for backup

Dress weird was what I was thinking----mismatched socks etc----cat hoodie whatever might embarrass her but not you-----It's almost like she has some sort of OCD sense of perfection about other people....

besides if she's worried about your cat ears she might not worry about your weight....now admittedly the focus on cat ears is because I was looking at these fabulous fox cosplay hoodies this morning....

lol thats kinda cool. i wonder if i could pull that off. probably so.

So I should explain this better...fox hoodie is something I would do...you lean punk...does that bother her when you dye your hair get piercings etc...if so focus on that...what you're going to find is for every time there is something you Mom says to discourage it somone else will absolutely love it....these people are xenophilic....they are the ones you want as friends but also it's going to make you wonder if the weight is the same way...some people like a bit of curve....others don't and others don't care it's a whole rainbow of humanity you know....anyway that's what I meant...nothing wrong with stepping outside average...

I think you would look great in it but it's got to be something you are really comfy with for this to work otherwise you'll just wan to toss it in the back of the closest the first time your mom says some thing....

when i was a teen and into punk music i used to dress in leopard pants and sew patches on my clothes and have my hair dyed bright colors.

this is me. the first one a year ago. the second one when i was a teen.

That's exactly it....but question did your mom comment about that?

I'm a sucker for blue hair....that looks awesome!

she actually didnt mind it BUT i think it was cause i was skinnier when i was doing that stuff. she has a lot to say about myself and others physiques

Hmm my theory might not work then....if all she cares about is physical and not looks in general....

that means i really need to lose weight right?

No it just means your moms disorder is more specific than I thought so you won't be able to desensitize her because you can't change your physical nature as easily as your clothes....

The point remains the same....some people will love you no matter what those are the ones you want to hang out with and they will confirm your mom is kind of a bit of a jerk...

my sister and my dad know my mom has something wrong with her. my sister is moving back here from washington state to plan her wedding for 5 months and has expressed to me that she doesnt know how shell be able to live with my mom. she doesnt want to. so sad. i told her she could stay with me but we only have 3 bedrooms and 1 of them is a music rooom full of drums so we really only have space for my dad and i. but im gonna clean up that one bedroom for her to stay in on an air matress or something. so sad.

Is this your sister the therapist? If so I might respect her opinion on your mom....you know it's like if your mom says something don't take it to heart just be like you know it's OK she just has an illness that makes her say these things...or whatever....

yes its my sister the therapist.