Roll Call 33

I'm getting a little worried...I feel guilty, lethargic, down. It's late August. That is when my yearly depression tends to begin (I think I'm sensitive to the decreased sunlight as the days get shorter). I can't afford to get depressed this year. I have to dominate in grad school, so I'll have a shot at med school. Hopefully this isn't the beginning of a depressive episode.

I see my original pdoc on Thursday. I'll bring this up with him, in addition to which AP we'll try next since I'm going off zyprexa.

i made a thread abt that a while ago

Well got off the phone with a friend, he wanted to play tf2 with me but I said I can't because I need to clean out my tortoise's cage. He responded with,"then just get rid of it! It is taking up time when you could do other things. It isn't even cute!" So pissed off.

I think they are cute

so worn out. idk how i made it thru work. i felt like time was going so slow. sooooo slow. i wanted to lay down on the register. lol. oh well its over and i made it! off for 2 days now. seeing T tomorrow. starting school on Thursday!!!! Ts girlfriend is gonna give me one of the books i need.

nervous abt school but i think it will be ok. just gotta stay on it cuz its online classes this time. i chose online cuz im 30 min away from campus.

Back from the ren faire I had an amazing day hanging out with my friend buying parasols and fun feathered hair things while eating and being thoroughly entertained----highly recommend to anyone near Wisconsin but there are others scattered around the country----so fun

tortoises are awesome! i used to have a turtle that stayed in a bin outside but some mexicans stole it

are there any black people there?

Yeah most of them were steam punk though.....this was just at ten am so it was the start and these are employees they are hired to be the queens guards but yes you are correct there were a whole lot of white people probably typical for Wisconsin but very low diversity for Chicago...

i was jw. but the only faire for that around here is almost an hour south of dallas! be cool to goto one tho. i bet id like it. i love medieval times (the restaurant).

You should totally go it was great...they have all sort of performers and even the food people and merchants are in character----this one you can go as anything they had lots of fairies, steampunk and game of thrones----people had dragons mounted on their shoulders and stuff----very fun....

Here are some of the feather hair clips I bought to wear there...

ive been watchinng a lot of the "sh_t people say" videos on youtube and they have been giving me a lot of perspective on the human race believe it or not.

Actually I can see that because people are making fun of themselves so it's pretty accurate in some ways....

like i was watching "sh_t asian moms say" and "sh_t black dads say" and "sh_t abuelas say" and many more and it just resonated with me.

they even have a "sh_t cats say video"!!!

Enough said. It isn't pop music, and is instrumental, which means i can actually enjoy this!

i have a splitting migraine and am throwing up. wont get much sleep tonight...

Lol.........

Omg, I call this local crisis line when I'm really triggered. Anyway tonight a whole group of them said " WE BELIEVE YOU." About that organization I was abused in. Omg it made me cry, they have researched it themselves. I've NEVER, EVER had a therapist be that kind. I so LOVE THEM!! They are mostly college students going in social work doing it for work study. You don't know how that impacted me. I WAS FINALLY HEARD!!!

They put me on speaker phone, theyve heard my middle of the night anxieties.

What wonderful young ppl!!!

There is hope!! Now if I could just stop obsessing about the abuse.

Walk of shame to work lol

Also two steps from hell-----

This whole archangel album is good...and instumental---

morning everyone. how are you all doing?

tired---sad---mildy defeated----how are you?