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  #751  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 03:04 PM
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Loial Loial is offline
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What's everyone up to tonight....? I think I might try reading a bit... haven't for a week or more now.
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  #752  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 03:06 PM
Anonymous37804
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Originally Posted by neil w View Post
Ok Lizard Queen haha. Glad you had fun last night, it can make all the difference!


  #753  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 03:15 PM
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Brilliant haha
  #754  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 03:23 PM
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im trying so hard to lose weight and im just staying the same. im so discouraged...x
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  #755  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 03:38 PM
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idk if im ever gonna get skinny again from this medication. seroquel made me gain 80 pounds a few years ago i lost ALL that. idk how. now haldol made me gain 50 pounds. i lost 10 of that. now no more. idk what to do.
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  #756  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Erti View Post
Well if you're not sleeping well it's a good thing that you're seeing your GP. It's best to be upfront and honest or else how are they going to help you?
Thanks Erti! I was, mostly, but it was hard to say it all out loud.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lawscot View Post
Small world I have my appointment today too, although it's with a CPN.

I can relate to a lot of what you say about trying to get yourself across properly to your GP. I have tremendous trouble trying to say what I want & often my GP will hear it in a certain way, not understanding what I meant. That just seems to make it worse because the GP picks up on that & starts steering the conversation & I forget or don't want to bring up what I was actually meaning.

I too actually briefly wondered about early-onset dementia but a) it's just the health part of my GAD talking & b) it's just cognitive effects of what is most likely sz.
Thanks Lawscot! My GP is nice and he lets me talk without rushing me. He even asked me to repeat bits so he could understand.

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Originally Posted by Lawscot View Post
I just thought I'd put this here rather than the negative thread... bit unsure what to think.

So I found out that my original referral did get lost & that the reason I got an appointment with the urgent-referrals was because the psychiatrist I should be seeing is on holiday for 2 weeks, like from this weekend.

Anyway, the guy seemed to be trying to rationalise any of my delusions or paranoia & said to try to make the voices go away so they only appear at a certain time of day. I don't think that work because telling my voices to go away has never worked in the past. Obviously they just wanted to see me & try to help tide me over until I get an actual appointment, which is in 3-4 weeks. Argh.

The very strange thing is he said they would have only prescribed Citalopram if there was a depressive element but that confuses me because my CPN had said it didn't seem like depression was an issue. Plus Citalopram is used for GAD, which is what they last seemed to think was my main problem when I saw them at the start of the summer.

So, what does all this mean? Beats me... Depression with a psychotic element? But what about the queried schizophrenia last time... depression doesn't seem like a major element to me & was never a problem before during my last period of psychosis. Schizoaffective perhaps?

I really don't know but I kind of felt he didn't know exactly about my situation fully & the session was just a band aid on an severed limb. Pretty angry I have to wait until November & a bit confused now.
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Originally Posted by Lawscot View Post
Seemingly not... he said he wanted me to be handled by the psychiatrist I'd been assigned to before. I guess in some ways they are right that I'm not terrible & perhaps do need a full evaluation by a psychiatrist before considering what meds I need. It's quite possible he deals with schizophrenia because he had been asking me about a return of psychotic symptoms when asking about my anxiety.

Yeah, it's just confusing because I did get a proper diagnosis, or as good as, last time. Mood didn't seem to play a role in that... I suppose it's possible I could have periods of hypomania which would explain why I don't think any depression is a huge issue.

But anyway, as you say, I'm sure I'll get fully evaluated at the start of November. Going to try not to think about it too much, no point trying to diagnose myself!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lawscot View Post
That's what I would have thought but he seemed to suggest that he wouldn't want to overrule any decisions by my last psychiatrist. But he had no idea about my delusions or voices being back...

Oh well. I'll survive, I've done so for the past 8 weeks, so I'll manage for another 3-4 now. My parents are just back from their holiday too, so I'm not alone anymore... have been for 2 weeks but I didn't want to say anything because of my delusions.
I'm sorry the appt was so unhelpful and that you have to wait another month I don't know how helpful they were last time, but ime going to MH services is a waste of time. My GP tried to talk me into going back to the CMHT, but I refused. He offered to speak to ex-pdoc and explain that I'm not faking and what is going on, but I told him they are totally corrupt and that he will never change her mind. They completely dismissed my Uni pdoc who is a professor & just chaired some new NICE guidelines so is clearly well respected, so a GP has no chance!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lawscot View Post
It's my birthday in a few days too, so that's something, plus it's my Dad's today so we are off out for a joint birthday meal tonight.
Happy birthday!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic View Post
So the values part is act....I can't remember what it stands for really.
ACT stands for Acceptance & Commitment Therapy FYI. I'm doing a course at the local Uni about it and my homework this week is to identify my values...it's hard :/

Quote:
Originally Posted by costello View Post
When I took that other kitten, just as I was about to drive away, the girl giving it to me said, "At least I know it's going to a good home." It just stabs me in the heart whenever I think about that. It only lived a day and a half in my good home.
I'm glad you're having fun with the new kitten though. Have you got a name yet? And we'd love to see a photo when you're able

Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
guys idont know how much worse it can get.

my last customer before i went on break was this old lady. i saw she had coupons and i asked her for them before i started ringing up her stuff. id ont know why but she got really flustered and angry. she said "i wont be coming back thru this line anymore". i pretended like i didnt hear that. i rang up her stuff. i asked her if she wanted to donate to this charity. we have to ask everyone that. she said "no, i just want to get away from you". i didnt react to her at all and gave her her change and she left. she stared at me the whole way out. i went on break and just cried in my car. i was so close to leaving an dnever going back. i texted T. he was really supportive. we texted for a few min.

i decided to go back in there. when i got back in i just straight up told the manager what happened and i told her that that lady will prob call in to complain. then i just went back to my register and started doing my job again. i had 2.5 hours left.

i dont even know how i managed to go back in there and continue working. everything inside of me wanted to quit. i realyl felt like i couldnt do it anymore. i felt so upset.

but i went back in and i survived.

i texted T when i clocked out and told him that i went back in after break and that i talked to the manager. he wrote me back and in all caps said good for you!!! im so proud!!!! that felt really good. at least i have T on my side.

anyway im pretty sure im gonna start looking for a different job. something low key. where i dont have to interact with the public so much.

im just not cut out for it
I know that you felt awful, but your T is right, you should be proud of the fact that you went back and finished your shift and didn't run away. Can you ask to be transferred to the stock room rather than leave & find something new? I'm just thinking that a new job will have the anxiety of meeting all new people,while you already know some people there already.

----
I've been started on trazodone for sleep, so I'm hoping that helps. He didn't put it on repeat prescription though because he said that he wanted to ensure I actually come back in a month to see him again, because normally I don't because I don't want to bother him. He also said that I was too nice to be a heart sink patient, which was kind of him. He wants to talk some more about stuff and discuss a CMHT referral again, but he's never going to change my mind about them.

In other news, my Mum (who isn't supposed to fly and is uninsurable because of her ill health) is so fed up of the drama with my adopted siblings lately, that she's booked for her & my Dad to go abroad for a few days to Spain in about 3 weeks time. So guess who has to look after my siblings & my grandfather & all the animals while they're away!? She didn't even ask if it was ok!! (It's not, but she's going to do it anyway, so what's the point in saying anything??) *sigh*

*Willow*
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Thanks for this!
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  #757  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 04:48 PM
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newtus newtus is offline
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my sister and i were taking a walk outside yesterday and i said i could hear people walking to their front doors and looking at us and she questioned me about taking my meds.

i was also thinking about amanda bynes and how she thinks she has a microchip in her. i think i have one in me too. put in by the gangstalkers
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  #758  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 04:53 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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How does a microchip broadcast without a power source? I've never had microchip delusions so I had to ask.
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  #759  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 05:09 PM
Anonymous37804
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How does a microchip broadcast without a power source? I've never had microchip delusions so I had to ask.
Small micro battery and wireless charging.
  #760  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 05:11 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickenfoot View Post
Small micro battery and wireless charging.

What kind of battery is it?
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  #761  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 05:25 PM
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Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post

What kind of battery is it?
Not sure, I don't make them or know how to. I just know the technology is available to create grain sized chips that are sustainable for long periods of time.

+++Trigger Warning+++





I got mine out, or at least I think I did. I don't feel like it's there any more. Even though I still hear voices and noises. I don't remember but I cut my head where the chip was pretty bad, needed multiple sutures. My Dad said I came in and was saying how I got it out. But again, I don't remember much from that night. I trust my Dad wouldn't lie to me though.
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  #762  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 05:46 PM
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Didgee its very possible. theres a well known news source about a man who put a microchip in his arm/wrist for the sake of science. i would never do that. they put micro chips in pets now to find them if they get lost. they use them in the medical feild now too also.

as far as being used for gangstalking - well thats not well known as the others.
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  #763  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 05:53 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Originally Posted by chickenfoot View Post
Not sure, I don't make them or know how to. I just know the technology is available to create grain sized chips that are sustainable for long periods of time.
I've heard of implants for medical records (No thanks) and animal identification. As far as I know none of these devices are capable of transmitting information on their own. They have to be read by a special device that is placed close to the chip. I'll look up the grain sized chips.

Who implanted your microchip?
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  #764  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 06:01 PM
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Erti Erti is offline
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Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23 View Post
Thanks Erti! I was, mostly, but it was hard to say it all out loud.
Yeah, everything seems much easier typing it down. I find it hard to talk to doctors myself.
  #765  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
I've heard of implants for medical records (No thanks) and animal identification. As far as I know none of these devices are capable of transmitting information on their own. They have to be read by a special device that is placed close to the chip. I'll look up the grain sized chips.

Who implanted your microchip?
The psychiatrists I seen as a teen. When I was about 17 I woke up in my bed on the psych ward with two black eyes and a sore head (evidence of a head injury), they said I hit my head off the wall but I couldn't remember any of it. They put it in at that point I believe.
  #766  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 06:06 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
Didgee its very possible. theres a well known news source about a man who put a microchip in his arm/wrist for the sake of science. i would never do that. they put micro chips in pets now to find them if they get lost. they use them in the medical feild now too also.

as far as being used for gangstalking - well thats not well known as the others.
I have read about some chip-like implants in Discover magazine but they were for vision and paralysis. Most of these devices were implanted in the brain or eye.

No one is ever going to implant a microchip in me that contains my medical records or monitors my body functions ever.

I've never heard of gangstalking until I joined PC.
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  #767  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 06:09 PM
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I've never heard of gangstalking until I joined PC.
Me neither, I just explained my experiences and people mentioned gangstalking and TI (targeted individual). To be honest I haven't been thinking very much about the chip or being monitored lately.
  #768  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 07:13 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Originally Posted by chickenfoot View Post
Me neither, I just explained my experiences and people mentioned gangstalking and TI (targeted individual). To be honest I haven't been thinking very much about the chip or being monitored lately.

When I was really sick I believed the world was going to be taken over by communists. Since I possessed this knowledge I believed American secret agents were after me even though I am (very) Canadian. Right before I started taking medication I was in a mall where I saw a man in a tuxedo who I thought was part of the unknown people. These individuals somehow always knew my whereabouts. I got the hell out of there ASAP. Is this an example of gangstalking?

I was getting all this communist information from the television. It was creepy.
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  #769  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 07:19 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post

i was also thinking about amanda bynes and how she thinks she has a microchip in her. i think i have one in me too. put in by the gangstalkers
You don't really believe that do you?
  #770  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Jolisse View Post
You don't really believe that do you?

i really do. in 2011 i asked my medical doctor for a head scan/brain scan to scan for microchips in my head and he did it!
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  #771  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 07:28 PM
Anonymous37804
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Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post

When I was really sick I believed the world was going to be taken over by communists. Since I possessed this knowledge I believed American secret agents were after me even though I am (very) Canadian. Right before I started taking medication I was in a mall where I saw a man in a tuxedo who I thought was part of the unknown people. These individuals somehow always knew my whereabouts. I got the hell out of there ASAP. Is this an example of gangstalking?

I was getting all this communist information from the television. It was creepy.
I would imagine it would be, yeah. I know my current psychiatrists had bugged my old house, that's how they know I've moved without me mentioning it. They keep asking me questions about where I'm living. I only moved down the road but I'm not telling them that. They had hacked into my laptops as well, but I'm sure I'm careful enough now to have that happen again. I kept getting weird pop ups/errors.
  #772  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 07:30 PM
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i really do. in 2011 i asked my medical doctor for a head scan/brain scan to scan for microchips in my head and he did it!
They don't really do it to find microchips to keep you happy, they do it to see if there's some organic reason you're hallucinating. They did it for me and told me it was to scan for a microchip but in my notes they just said they did it to see if I had a tumor or something.
  #773  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 07:40 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
my sister and i were taking a walk outside yesterday and i said i could hear people walking to their front doors and looking at us and she questioned me about taking my meds.

i was also thinking about amanda bynes and how she thinks she has a microchip in her. i think i have one in me too. put in by the gangstalkers
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
i really do. in 2011 i asked my medical doctor for a head scan/brain scan to scan for microchips in my head and he did it!
Did he find a microchip?
  #774  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by chickenfoot View Post
They don't really do it to find microchips to keep you happy, they do it to see if there's some organic reason you're hallucinating. They did it for me and told me it was to scan for a microchip but in my notes they just said they did it to see if I had a tumor or something.

well i know that. im not stupid. but i was completelt honest as to why i wanted it. as first i was going to lie as say tumor but i was compltely honest about why i wanted it. because i didnt want him to turn me down. but i really wanted it at the same time too. idk what my notes said tho.
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  #775  
Old Oct 11, 2014, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Jolisse View Post
Did he find a microchip?

he said my head was clear but i still dont believe that AND if thats true then the microchip is somewhere else in my body but i still think its in my head.
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