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I wish that too. Medicalfox, I've lost friends I really trusted too. I'm sorry you're going through that.

I have too. I have several friends with bp2 and depression, but they can't relate to hallucinations and that tends to scare them a bit. Really thinking about doing a craigslist add or maybe an irl support group for young adults (I'm younger than 25, but older than 20.)

Thanks it's really hard because I poured my heart out and he just got tired of hearing about the hallucinations and delusions. They're a hard science major so they just thought of my thinking as too illogical for their liking. I had this happen to another friend 2 years ago and after a year of not talking we're bffs again, but I never mention my illness anymore to that friend so it's been fine.

Well, I'm starting to really like my therapist. We started off on the wrong foot I think.

Medicalfox--I've had 2 irl sz friends. I'm not scared at all with them struggling with hallucinations or voices or anything. But I've been through full psychosis before. But they both aren't always taking their meds and when they stop I don't hear from them...miss them.

I've had ppl completely quit talking to me when they find out I have bp. So...It's not just sz that is discriminated against.

Newtus--I love that jar idea.

I'm so hungry and have a pounding headache. My son is having friends over. I hope they're quiet....I'm going to bed early.

It's hard. I lost two lifetime friends over the psychosis that started in 2009.

im eating japanese food for my last meal of eating anything i want and it. is. so. good.

(random)

i met quite a few people in real with schizophrenia and schizoaffective. either from the hospital or at the NAMI meetings two cities iver from me. one guy gave me his number but i only called him once. he was like 40 something and did actually live in the town next to me but idk...

ive been working in my sisters birthday gift for six hours. ugh i still have probably 300 more writings to put in that jar. idk if i can finish it in two days.

toby is staring at me from across the room evilly . i think he wants my japanese

ok now my tummy hurts

whats wrong junk?

Wednesday I had an anxiety attack. Thursday I was on the cusp of a panic attack all day. Today I had anxiety all day until after 5, which then it turned into a full blown panic attack that lasted 5 hours until 2mg of Klonopin later.

My doctor isn't in until Monday or Tuesday so Im going to be taking a lot of klonopin until we have a plan. I swear, this is like my SSRI isn't working at all since I switched pharmacies. I haven't had a full blown hardcore panic attack like this since before my SSRI. Then all I could think about was killing myself. My doc is failing me by not being available for this. There should be an emergency number. Ohwell. I have klonopin. I have a feeling that the next couple of weeks are going to be hell. Absolute hell. fml

Could it possibly be akathisia? I know that for me the akathisia increased on geodon with an ssri. I hope you get it figured out soon.

Not sure where you are located but here is an emergency psych place....many hospitals with inpatient keep a pdoc on call....they can probably handle this without admitting you....

Psychiatric Emergency Service : U-M Department of Psychiatry

I cannot sleep. I'm off the AD. Hope it doesn't last...

Wow! We posted at the same time, haha. I'm surprised you're up so late. Are you ok?

I just randomly woke up...it happens sometimes especially when I have anxiety....training in these grad students it's like they are depending on me for stuff to work out which just adds....

Sorry you can't sleep either....I'm going to try to go back to bed so hopefully ill talk to you tomorrow.....

Ok. I hope you sleep....

Morning guys...

This restlessness seems to have decided to play up just as I said I'd wait 2 weeks before trying meds for it in case it went away... classic. P-doc said he'd put it in the letter to my GP so I should be able to get it sooner if I want.

I am wondering what will happen with my voices.... still around a bit everyday & since p-doc seems to want to keep me at 10mg, they might never go fully. Still, better than getting side effects from meds.

Anxiety can be a ***** like that... it had me waking up unable to get back to sleep at 4/5am. Still happens from time to time, but thankfully not as bad.

I tend to wake up hourly from 3am or so anyway as it is, but I'm in bed at 9pm... so 6 hours sleep is a good stint.

My stalkers car - he changed to blue

ugh im sick

Hope everyone is OK. I'm sorry you're sick newtus. I've been having a ton of trouble with sleep and then not getting out of bed even when I can't sleep.

I cancelled my appointment with my care coordinator and a member of the crisis team because my dad came to visit. Anyway, today me and my dad went to the pet shop together because I wouldn't leave the flat on my own. I came back home with two cute little guinea pigs.

I'm sleeping a lot trying to get rid of this cold. I'm just glad it's not anything like the flu. It's just bad enough to make me feel like total crap. All I want to do is sit around in bed. Blah!

Thank you. If the same thing happens to me tonight then I'll be making a trip there tonight.