roll call 43

Idk my psychiatrist and I just have to face it I guess that like my anti depressant and antipsychotics, I need it and I guess we'll make out some arrangement. But right now I feel great after smoking a cigarette outside at 4am it's 5am now and I feel so alert and awake. I want to be a millionaire right now! I feel so narcissistic I need power I look great. I heard this is a sign of narcolepsy to feel like this in the middle of the night so they take the date rape drug every night to knock them out. Although I don't have narcolepsy but something obviously chronic fatigue not relating to the meds

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My bfs going away for the weekend, I'm going to miss him. I hate being on my own for ages. I get so bored and lonely.

I feel tired. But I'm still plodding on. Leaving the flat is still a struggle for me. But I managed to get out today.

I didn't manage anything today. I started to and got so tired so I wonder if I have some dangerous infection. Everything is a vicious cycle.

I hated getting trapped in vicious cycles with my health anxiety... so hard to break them until I was on the right meds.

I've been trying to research other APs I could try... I'm still getting tired throughout the day & I feel like it's midnight or something now. I can only function properly for brief periods every day which is useless if I am wanting to get a job. Not like you can get nap breaks...

Can you tolerate caffeine at all? I just had a cup of tea because I've been fading since I got up. My Cymbalta experiment scared me from the awful shaking. I was also too dizzy to be on my feet with any confidence so I'm going to wait a bit. Plus I was dehydrated but every time I had a sip of water I had to pee, like over 12 times that day. :/

Yeah I agree with everyone...isolation just makes things worse. But I'm in a similar situation to Angelique, have back problems and don't drive. And the bus is too far away to walk with the pain.

I got out yesterday and felt very paranoid. But I think it was from not sleeping. But also the longer you go without getting out the more weird u feel when you're out... I'm changing mood stabilizers, tapering off one and slowly adding the new one.

I really need to get out and get groceries....But I feel very overwhelmed by the thought and I'm sure my back will kill. Ugh...I have got to get driving...

I wish I had a car too but I couldn't take care of it myself, especially in winter. But I wonder if I'd have an easier time just being alive if I had one. I guess I'll never have one now. I'm so down today. Just feel like I'm on the verge of death.

Nope unfortunately... terrible for my anxiety. Became sensitive to it a while back & that sensation just plays havoc with my health anxiety.

I'm so sorry. for me when I feel that bad, I usually try and sleep or cry. Is the cymbalta helping at all with the depression or pain?

I feel like a weirdo, I made a new friend but it's making me just feel worse about myself. They're so productive and I'm so not. I think I'm just too f@cked up for friends right now. I haven't told them I have bp bc I'm pretty sure that would scare them off...

I've asked a girl if she wants to go for coffee. I'm trying to make friends cos I don't have any. I'm nervous that she might not reply.

I hope you hear back from her.

She said absolutely yay. I'm nervous to meet her now I'm a bit awkward one to one but I need to give it a go. I'm going to go to uni socials and try to meet new people too.

Glad to hear it & good for you for putting yourself out there!

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, maybe a vegetable juice would help. Try juicing? Just a thought.

I only took it on Thursday. Got too scared by the dizziness and shaking. I know what you mean about productive friends!

I hope you'll have fun!

Hi folks. Navigating society like this isnt easy. My London excursion is a bust so I'm back to trying to date in my city as thats the one thing (having a partner) that would really cheer me up. I've dated enough that it's relatively easy for me to meet women and get dates but I'm hung up on the fact that at some point early on i will have to tell them im unemployed, not driving and have some sort of mental illness. I usually say I have PTSD to start with. If i had a large group of friends it would be easier meeting people and would know ahead of time theyre ok with my circumstances. Dating strangers is pretty rough going.

I've also got a confession in that I've been off meds for a few months now because i couldnt take the dystonia my AP was causing me and didnt want to go through the rigamarole of starting a new one. When my coaching job in London got cancelled it threw me into a bit of a spin though and Ive had to accept that I'll at least start taking my AD again and hope that on its own it doesnt cause dystonia. Its not all terribly bleak just not the best of times.

My new friend just texted me that nobody is living the life they would ideally live. What do you guys think? Cuz I think some ppl are very happy with their lives. But I am an idealist. Maybe that's not true....

Well Those side effects might wear off. I wish I could take cymbalta. But I get crazy manic on any of the snri's. But I am on gabapentin. Doesn't do much. Ibuprofen helps the most it seems.

. Oh no...
sorry about your coaching job.....sorry your meds were bad enough to quit...hope you feel better soon.

As far as dating I just tell people I hear voices but I'm on meds for it etc so far everyone has been OK with it. I don't ever mention a dx but then I dont really have one anyway.

I hope it will get easier, but I think maybe you're more hung up on those things than someone else you date may be? I know you judge yourself a little harshly.

Thanks guys hopefully it will go well

For me nothing is helping much. I take ibuprofen, Tylenol and Skelaxin all at once and I can just do a little bit very sporadically, have to keep sitting down still to rest from the pain. I'm going to wait a bit to try the Cymbalta again. The shaking really scares me, plus I felt sort of freaked out on it.

I really think most people have sort of a mixed bag.....like a lot of people are happy in new relationships but they are also insecure so it's mixed. A lot of people really love their kids but would love to win a weeks vacation from them at the same time...that kind of thing....maybe they are happy but they may still be plagued with doubts....