Roll Call 45

That's rough...you can always ask us for advice although I know it's not the same....

yea you can always come here. and yea its not the same. but dont be a stranger. i mean...your always welcome here

thanks for the advice sometimesp and angelique.

soooo happy the NE patriots WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yea for those who dont know. Patriots won Superbowl 49.

Thanks newtus and sp (:

I'm going to give the rest of my meds to my mom because I keep contemplating whether to take them or not and just the signs of about 10 days not taking I already know I'm sick. Omg I feel high.. I need to stop them or take.. Yknow what I mean?

Brb..

i took my xanax and ambien
...but i need a shot of liquor.
im sorry im doing this...
i need to get away from my mind for awhile...

I'm not good at anything anymore. My meds have dulled my mind and the sitting around the apartment has killed my spirit.

Be careful Newtus..

Be sure that you are going to live. If not then hospital.

idk if im going to live. but i doubt ill die. idk
dont mean to scare anyone...im just hearing voices and have anxiety right now and i needed to get away from my mind. i didnt drink enough to pass out. not yet at least.

i just feel so tired of everything.
maybe im starting to enter my breaking point. idk.
i just dont even want to think right now.

im starting to miss the safeness of the hospital.
but i hate everything else about it.

you know what?
i just thought about it.
if i went to the hospital...i wouldnt eat.
then they would know theres more problems with me. but they wouldnt know if im not eating cuz of psychosis or becuz i dont wanna gain weight.

bu you know what?
FOOD IS TAINTED.
when i eat nowadays i am so close to throwing up. its the equivalent to people seeing wormss in their food.
but im feeling as if food is unnatural for my body.

i could maybe live without food if i just drank liquids.

I hope you're in the same mind set when with my ritalin abuse because I survived so I know what you mean..

But don't drink more. Please.

Just giving reassurance. Don't do it.

Foods not tainted o.0

My psychiatrist accuse me of an eating disorder as well. My food is fine.

Here listen to Coldplay do anything but dot drink more.

Awesome song

Edit;

This song tho...

every time i eat i feel like im gonna throw up and sometimes i do. my sister told me thats unnatural. she doesnt understand anything about me.

alcohol makes the voices louder

because alcohol calms your mind down so much that you can hear the voices startin to scream at you.

thanks for the songs

It usually happens after long term alcohol abuse that you get the voices. For me I just drank really hard til I passed out then would hear in the when I wake up.. I guess because I was calmer maybe you're right idk

Edit: Klonopin and low dose seroquel increased my voices big time

hm. i havent had alcohol in half a year except once in december and it was half a beer. but before that i was drink somewhat heavily. i guess im following in my parents footsteps

Nah.. You stopped for half a year.. I stopped or a few months.. The illness.. Kill it..

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

...kill it...with FIRE.

I was counting my prozacs cuz I have no clue when the next prescription Is and I have like 800 but put a couple into a bottle.

I didn't see you're reply on my phone I hope you're in a alcohol induced light sleep :/

I hope you're fine if you are reply for us

We apparently got 17 inches of snow ....

Lolz here is too cold to snow -.-

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk