Roll Call 45

lol this made me laugh. im kinda embarrassed by it too because i feel like you can tell when im really enthusiastic and when im not. which is really embarrasing.

yes. i always said this as a joke but it is true... "secrets keep you sick". keeping the secrets of my drug use and eating disorder almost killed me. the relatioship with former T...well...it was very very hard at first when i told. like really hard. i regretted it immediately. but now that T and i are talking about it more and breaking it down and talking about the sexual aspects i hate so much that were involved it feels so relieving because ive kept it in for so long. im glad T and i are talking about it more even though it is hard and stirs up emotions and memories.

as far as work, im glad my store director knows about my MI. i called in once because of depression and he was so nice about it. the day before i was supposed to work every time i thought about going in i felt suicidal. the store director asked if there was any way to support me. i know he is a nice guy and he has never been mean to me or treated me lesser than. so its nice to have the head honcho of the store know about it.

yeah it seems to help to update them I know when I was looking at the various forums for answers people would have the same question, get advice and then have no follow up so you couldn't tell if it was good advice and it worked or if it was bad advice and didn't work.

It comes across In your writing you have a lot of of fire right now....

Yeah I think I agree but I kind of want to have some harmless secret like a hidden tattoo or something

lol this is so funny haha

lol theres probably something you guys dont know about me that i tell many people. i laugh when i get nervous. you know how some people have that embarrassed laugh.

I was about to say I love your motivation Newtus.

It kills me to see someone think schizophrenia is a sentence to misery and void of a normal life like yesterday because I don't know what it's like to live psychosis everyday. Many people have. You proved yourself wrong atm so remember how it is now. When you fall down, you always got up.

- No reason to be nervous :/

Good question, I don't know. I've never really thought about it. There's just certain things that I always keep to myself. I'm the type of person that can talk a lot without saying anything at all.

Just like a mild fear is ok it normal

freaking internet is slow. im having to use my iphone to post now.

anyway. i have a lot of motivation now - in general - but idk when that could just come crashing down

It's contagious. Like I'm doing extra homework right now and I don't do homework..

yea im just not cool.
i wish i had some sort of power to make some sort of change to the mental health system.

So I slept all day. Pdoc called bc I only have one dose of zyprexa left and I didn't hear the phone ring. I'm just gonna have to stay up almost 24 hours so I can talk to him tomorrow.

I don't think I have any secrets...But I think it's fine having them. My sister's have them, they said nobody needs to know, lol.

yea i dont think people need to tell everyone evrything about them.

i read this one twitter post today that said "Everyone has 3 lives. A public life - a personal life - and a secret life" I truly believe in that.

Very well said...

Absolutely agreed. Thanks for posting that.

I never tell people about my secrets, I find that I rather keep them in than tell someone because I end up feeling vulnerable if I tell people my problems and feel like they can be used against me. I work in a hospital and plan on having an almost supervisor position so if people knew my secrets that could be very harmful. The only person that knows the most about me doesn't talk to me anymore, although they snapchatted me today randomly. I feel like maybe we can be friends later in life again, but not right now.

You guys are the only ones that know the mentally ill side of me, I don't tell anyone of my struggles. Facebook friends, close friends, and family only know my accomplishments because they can't handle that I am mentally ill and autistic.

Also I changed my okc picture so I have more people talking to me now. I'm hoping to maybe find the right friend.

the people that know the most about me is everyone on this forum. you all know almost everything. BUT...NOT everything. sorry.

i have a bad habit of telling certain people every little thing about me. but as i get older i tell less and less. and i branch what i tell to only certain people. its weird because i dont have any friends. i talk to mostly family. so when i get a friend (well in the past) ive told them EVERYTHING. now i see the consequences of doing that. so...i dont do it anymore. or its more like i try not to.

She didn't like it it was too offensive

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Yeah, I've told most to therapists.

I used to tell ppl I just met everything about me when I was younger, I've learned not to do that now...Just tell them slowly. Except for some of my friends here on pc.

thats interesting because i tell therapists the least about me. hm. thats really interesting

I don't tell my therapist everything, I'm always cautious about what I say. Idm carrying secrets anymore.

Hey newtus, who's the person in your avatar/picture or whatever it's called?