Roll Call 48

i just realized the pictures of me at the wedding in a dress look pretty good but........i have no chest......like im not endowed.....my chest looks liked two sticks poking out behind a handkerchief. pretty much flat. my thighs are like big though. thats how my body is shaped. im big from the hips down and small from the waist up.

im at my friends house. we are waiting to go with other friend for sushi. T told me not to listen to the thoughts that tell me things. im trying to be in a good space. im excited for sushi.

With me my boobs are like BAM and my belly is large too but I have a small ***.

LOL. im what you call a pear shaped body. ugh why do my thighs have to be so thick.

I rather have large thighs than a big belly like I have. I have stretch marks all over my belly... You'd think I would of been pregnant with twins lol. Though I'm still going to try to lose weight even though I could never wear a bikini with my stretch marks.

i have stretch marks all over my thighs and hips and side of my belly too from gaining and losing weight. plus under my arms. :/ so it sucks.

...i called my aunt to get ahold of my grandma and it turned into this hour long semi awkward convo...

like it was just an hour long convo about going to school for something ill get paid for.

the more i talk to people about getting a degree the less i know what i want to get.

and the more i want to rebel

dont get me wrong ive thought about doing everything from a doctor to a philosopher to a minister and no one and i mean absolutely no one supports every single thing i want to do except my dad and i THINK my sister. i mean obviously i get that. i know everyone has their opinions. but wow...

Yeah. I also have them around my boob area and hips... Oh and some under my knee area. As much as I gain and lose weight and I don't put lotion on like I should.

Lol I try to avoid conversation that has to deal with my future. I just say idk and its a short conversation.

it blindsided me kinda. because i rarely talk to my moms side of the family very rarely. ive only been talking to my grandma once a week for the past year because shes in her 80s and i love her dearly. she doesnt even get into all that. my immediate family doesnt even get into all that. my dad does - but my dad and i mainly see eye to eye on things so i dont mind talking to him about it. my dad side of the family doesnt get into all that with me. so idk...yea wow. lol.

idk what to think dude...lol
i guess im just not used to all that
i mean my dad has told me a lot to do something mainly that i love because he severely regrets not doing what he loved.

my moms side and my dads side are pretty different people.
both sides have the few people that are really successful and that are happy too
and then theres the rest on my moms side that are average but are not happy

but then theres the rest on my dads side that are not well off or are maybe well off but they are happy or they seem happy.

but the rest on my moms side they dont seem happy.

Yeah. My mom never graduated high school and the same with the rest of the family. With my family they ask to be polite and want to know out of curiosity. I honestly am not sure what I want to do with myself.

Hi guys! I just finished catching up on all the stuff today. how is everyone?

I just want to say how much I love this community and how active it is, I don't check on it for one day and come back to 12 pages of a new roll call

As for me, I've been seeing a new therapist, seems like a really nice guy. I mean I've had good therapists and bad ones, but I seem to really like this guy. Hopefully it stays that way and he can help me a bit.

both my parents dont have college degrees. only HS and technical degrees. (and completed some college). my sister is the only one with a full bachelors and masters. and it kinda makes me look kinda bad (not entirely) that ive been in college already for maybe 5 years already now. and im still a freshman in college. with very little credits. less than a handful. but i know its because i had psychotic episodes in between and i was in hospital so many times. but nobody except my immediate family knows that. thats probably why they dont judge me about it.

i think my aunt was trying to be polite but it went a bit too far. she started talking about how her daughter didnt have a full time job. etc.

I'm doing alright. Been thinking about things but talking to people about it and I feel kinda better.

I'm doing okay, have had a horrible cough that cough drops seem to be unable to fix. Gets annoying when it hurts to breathe or cough.

my stomach still hurts.
took some pepto bismol.
tried to see if my neighbors had some sprite but they didnt

It's great to be able to talk to people on here. Especially when not feeling great. Everyone is so supportive of each other. It is exactly opposite of how it is at my job, where everyone tries to tear each other own. I went to church after work because my daughter is on the kids praise team. A lady that I'm acquainted with smiled and asked how I was doing. And even though things aren't terrible, they could be better, but by default I just smiled back and said "oh fine!" It made me think of how online it's so much easier to say what you actually feel.

You're a smart girl and I think you can do anything you want. Don't be shamed of not being far in college... I'm not far on college myself but at least you're attempting it. I plan on going back to college in the fall... Maybe we can help each other out... Like encouraging each other or help with classes and such.

That really sucks, sorry you are having trouble getting rid of it. I'm sure you must have people throwing remedies at you. I hate the feeling of the cough that's started to irritated everything around it. Hope you can feel better soon.

Ouch, it's hard for me to think of pepto bismol without thinking of this little white (pink) dog that came in once. I freaked out cause I didn't realize it was covered in pepto. Whenever I say I have a stomach ache, my husband jumps on the ginger ale train and tries to run me over with it.

sounds great! i wouldnt mind doing that
my philosophy thread sorta fell apart

i used to drink pepto for fun as a kid. i thought it was candy. its so good to me. it tastes like a bottle of peppermint fun! lol. i know no one will agree. lol