Roll Call 49

So are you enjoying the support group then?

I need moar nicotine. There should be a 2500mg nicotine injection

My idea all copywritea reserved thank you

- Tweaky.INC

no not actually.
but besides the spiritual stuff and handholding/hugging at the end - it wasnt that bad. but i also only went one time. they didnt talk about much...they did a lot of side talking. so i was gonna give it another chance. i gave the NAMI groups more than one chance. i wouldve kept going to NAMI groups if they werent so far but it was just too far and it was at 8pm at night. i dont want to be 35 miles away from home and driving til 10pm to get home. this place is 20 min away and at noon in the middle of the day. im not sure ill be going each time or for a long time but it wasnt so bad that i wouldnt try again. im just not into the holding hands and hugging. nevermind the praying. thats fine. i just dont want to be touched.

i took 20mg ambien.
i feel like theres something living inside my torso. and controlling my arms and legs. and head.

I love my cat Kitler so much. Whenever she wants attention she comes up to you, gives you and endearing look with big eyes, and gently puts her paw on you. She sleeps on my bed every night. Then when I leave for work she goes to my mother's bed. Winning!

What did the leper say to the prostitute? He said, "Keep the tip".

im waiting for that chat on friday. 2 days away. im ready.

oh god
its 3am. i got woken up to a loud crashing. i thought my dad fell again in his room because when he had a stroke. that was the first thing i heard from my room. i ran to his room and he was still alseep in his bed. i looked around and everything was quiet. i started to cry because that was what i heard when my dad had to go to the hospital seconds later. i was scared i was going thru it again. but i heard nothing.

i went to the bathroom crying. and i hear something move behind my curtain. i look. nothing there. then i hear talking and faint laughing near my dads room. i freak out. i look nothings there.

i realize the devil is messing with me.
hes trying to scare me by waking me up in the middle of the night and talk and laugh around me.

as i was sitting on the bed i saw the sky blue outside my window. i wondered how is the sky blue when its 3am? idk how but for some reason when i looked outside the WHOLE ground was white. yesterday it was regular.

the devil wants me. im scared ok?
hes in my house and trying to hurt my dad and scare me.
the devil wants me...

Newtus, we had lots of snow last night. That's why it looks blue outside and why the ground is white. You probably heard a tree branch breaking or something from the ice.

where are you from?
im near dallas tx.

i cant sleep now.
im wide awake.
its worse than last week. the weather.

but I really think the devil is trying to get my attention. this isnt the first time this happen.

Yes, I'm in the Dallas area. You sound like perhaps you haven't been taking your meds regularly?

no i havent...
ive also had some stressful and rough days.
a lot of them.

Good morning all. High anxiety here but I hope everyone will be feeling better today.

yall...this isnt funny.
i feel like im gonna break out in anxiety.

im really upset.
i think my dad has been drinking this morning. im sick of his drinking. he almost died twice recently from high blood/alcohol level

Snow again. Enough already. I have stuff to do and I can't do it in the snow. Stupid winter can bang off already

lord please take me away.
take me away.
take me away.
...from here...

I updated my blog. i keep updating it.

yea cant goto support group today.
oh well.
i mainly wanted to go just to get out of the house. to get out from this snow. but it snowed 5 inches today...

ive been up since 2:30am

wheres everyone?
tomorrow is the chat room.
i guess ill look forward to that

It's quiet in here this morning. Just finished working and now I'm surfing around because it snowed...again.

i just woke up. its rainy and dark outside. sorry ur anxious newtus. anxiety sucks. i might come to the chat. i dont work that night. but i work 7a-2p on friday so i might be too tired.

i dont really have anything to do myself

Good morning from the asylum and Tweaky's rehab ^^

Edit: They gave me a **** ton of pills this morning. I was asking what each one was then just swallowed the whole think because YOLO

In two hours I'm going to emotional/anger management class. I will give ye updates on it.

They want me on a schedule to be responsible like my parents always told me.

i took all these polaroids and a video from my episode last night...
wow...
i obviously dont remember doing that stuff.
but here is one of the polaroids...

Ughh sorry about freaking out last night. I'm not feeling too good at the minute. My head is foggy and I'm paranoid out of it. There's a bug here somewhere. I have good reason to be. I stopped taking my other AP meds a while ago because they're making me lose my mind. Not sure how. They still have me on the depot but I can't refuse that. I'm not sure what they all want. I'm asking too much of me. Thanks for the support here.