Roll Call 52

i made ONE D in philosophy and im afraid that will bring my whole grade down. i made that d because i didnt study for one test and the teacher averaged test 1 & 2 together as one and it ended up as a 62

watching a lifetime movie called Abducted: The Carlina White Story.

I've had a much better day today. My dad took me to McDonald's for lunch. He bought a jigsaw puzzle for me and my grandma. Then this afternoon I've been doing the jigsaw puzzle with my grandma.

wooooo!
i got a 95 on my philosophy test!!!
i missed 1 question. ughhhh.
it was pretty hard.

Lol it feels like they are trying to OD me on Abilify. I still take 15mg in pill form. Expensive stuff.

I'm in such a great mood and the chills that the Abilify gives me when listening to music is almost scary.

I want to go nuts. People are out having fun and living life.

I was told that I screwed up my life and I'll never get better. Also that I'll have to live negative symptoms my whole life.

Where are these people so I can slap them with a shovel?

That book is a tomb! I hope it reads well. Like it has a classic, timeless sense of writing to it. One that captures the heart in such a way that you can't just touch it but feel it. That's a rare book indeed.

Don't forget to scribble in the margins, highlight or underline phrases, and keep a dictionary nearby. Do you have a phone with a dictionary on it?

agh i actually cant write in it im renting the book from amazon but im writing on a notepad. i want to keep the book but it would cost me well over 100 dollars and i just dont have the money. it reads pretty good actually. it cost me only like 12 dollars to rent the book. the classes alone cost at least 700 and i cant really afford to buy full on books with them brand new. you know?

im not sure what you mean by a phone with a dictionary on it. do you mean just like a regular dictionary app on my iphone or a philosophy dictionary on my iphone? i have neither.

Blah, I wanna do hoodrat stuff with my friends.

It's 7:06 on a Saturday night and here I am lol yay me

gotta lock up the chickens soon

I left my iPhone charger on top of the vending machine and went for a smoke. Someone stole it but left the bag and my portable charger there.

I'm so pissed.

I'm going to ask for keys to lock up my things right now.

My charger was robbed last time I was in hospital too. I know them feels bro! Especially if it's an official iPhone charger, they're expensive man!

Jesus I was in the wrong hospitals. We weren't even allowed to have pens.

we arent allowed pens here or even pencils cuz they have that metal thingy that at the end that attaches the erasers.

I know...I'm not sure if phones or even pens are common inside the U.S...we had crayola markers....and a policy against all electronic devices.....they did eventually allow me my kindle though.....

What do you use to access PsychCentral?

My phone or the computer room. There's a lot of hallways etc in this hospital that is considered to be apart of the outside and a down town inside centre with a pharmacy, church, bank, group therapy room, hair dressers, etc and then a bar that sells ice cream and candy beside the smoke area.

I'm surprised that I can have pens and rubber sided pencils.

Just now they didn't allow me to have a coke can so I had to put the coke into a cup though.

My mom filled out the AISH papers so I'll give it to my psychiatrist on Monday. Then I wait 3 months.

"Here's some money as an apology for how crappy the mental health system is".

I had a two hour nap today. Low dose Vyvanse.. I think it's covered because it's approved for cognitive impairment in schizophrenia but I need dextroamphetamine or methylphenidate. This lisdexamfetamine has to stay in my stomach to change into dextroamphetamine which takes two hours.

Wow... I've never heard of a hospital like that! I think it's great!

My understanding is that Vyvanse is *the* stimulant that can't be broken down and abused. I guess somebody could take too much of it, but it doesn't work to abuse it in any other way. Maybe that's why it's favored, and it certainly is going to be better for you, don't you think?

Hi guys, I just got home from food prep at church. We almost exploded an environments guy, I got to grill stuff, and hand made a bunch of potato salad.

I thought I would beat my depression by trying to go to bed early. Mission accomplished? It's 4:30am. I need a lot of coffee. I wonder if Timmy Horton's is open? My cat is so adorable. Kitler is perched right next to me, staring at me, while deep purring. I love her so much. She's the sweetest cat.

I might leave Michigan in October. I hope I can finish this passion project of mine. The book I'm writing for fun. I gave myself the goal of one page a day. How do you devour a whale? One bite at a time. One page in a word document is two pages in a book. It takes 250 words for each page in a book. I'm way ahead so far. Still, I'm dreading one portion. The dialogue that challenges science. I've spent days doing research and I keep putting it off. I have so many feelings wrapped up in it because when I was in psychosis.

Hope is looking forward and knowing the end result, and seeing it finished gives you the ability to continue striving towards your goal, being able to overcome the things that stand in your way. You can do it.

Keep at it Odysseus! It's great you havent lost that spark! I can barely read or write anything related to my research area because of the feeling that i was responsible for my break down and subsequent disenfranchise by academia.

I'd love to be able to write fiction but im terrible at it!