Roll Call 53

Hi----I can't remember who asked for this----possibly chickenfoot?

For aptitude testing...

https://www.jobtestprep.co.uk/

Also there is good info here...

Logical Reasoning - Fibonicci Fibonicci

My aptitude test was this morning, I don't know how I got on but I didn't do very well.

dam.
they only fill half the bag up with chips.
the rest with air.
WHY?!

im reading a chapter in the trauma book T got me. its very interesting but a little upsetting. not too bad, i am highlighting parts that really speak to me. last session he was looking at the next chapter and it was titled child abuse. he said maybe we will skip that one. i do not like talking about that....i know i need to but....i never really have before. with anyone.

im reading a chapter in the trauma book T got me. its very interesting but a little upsetting. not too bad, i am highlighting parts that really speak to me. last session he was looking at the next chapter and it was titled child abuse. he said maybe we will skip that one. i do not like talking about that....i know i need to but....i never really have before. with anyone.

I'm going to try doing something that I don't want to do - going against avoiding people. I even did it to my best friend here. ITS NOT MY FAULT. I'm going to socialize more and having 6 days left isn't an excuse not to.

But I feel like I have to be high a number of times so I know what it's like to be in a good mood that isn't a 4/10.

One guy told me that I'm cool but they respect my need to isolate which is a twisted irrational thing that I shouldn't be doing and it kills me. Narcissism aside, I think I'm great but people have to talk to me first. That's the only reason I made friends here.

I feel like I would do it for everyone that has these symptoms.

Any support would be ok but if it's a lot of support, I might be less anxious and I'd definitely do it.

Logical non sense is filling up my brain. I'm a 7/10 agitated.

Hey bean! I've been watching Good Mythical Morning, which is pretty awesome.

I'm sorry you were not feeling awesome, i did pick up on that a bit. I also still think that you are a really neat person. You don't have to be the one who has everyone's attention, I don't like that either for myself. However, I hope you don't remain invisible because you deserve to have other people know how lovely you are.

yeah i'm a noob, do we just post whatever here?

Yay. I love getting stuff in the mail!

everytime we talk about it or come close to talking about it i get really upset and like shut down mentally...then i get depressed and suicidal. i know i need to talk about it and T is a good person to do it with. i know he is waiting for me to get into it...i knw he doesnt want to push me or overwhelm me. he wants me to do it when im ready. but i just wonder if ill ever be ready. most of me just wants to block it out and pretend it didnt happen. ive lived that way so long now it just seems normal to me. but i can see how it is coming out sideways in my life, like the psychosis and social anxiety and stuff.

maybe its just not time yet

I think your therapist is wise. Giving you a narrative that you can find something that speaks to you emotionally and intellectually will mold thought, form ideas, and most importantly, move you.

I searched high and low for something that would speak to me. I read The Center Cannot Hold and that made me feel like I was not alone. Goethe's Faust, made me feel like moving on, letting the past be past, that this is just a mental thought, a mental prison that I just need to walk out of as if it were merely a door metaphorically, and to do that I talked, and talked, and read and read.

I with you well JunkDNA

A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. When I mingle I always ask, "So what's good in life?'


Or if they ask me how it's going I say, "Good now that you asked!"


Compliment their clothing, smile, charm, something positive that resonates. Also, people love talking about themselves. Ask then prying questions. Try to get them to open up and tell you their passions. If you can begin to talk about that then you've just lit a match. Think about that however you want.

thank you.


the book is helpful. it feels like it puts my experiences into neat little words. instead of this huge blurry mess of pain and confusion.

i feel scared about the future of college. of people judging me about my clothes and my personality. the town there is full of hipsters...