Roll Call 53

I feel both of you. I'm an introvert by nature, which basically means that I spend energy around people being social, where as extraverts gain energy amongst people. My alone time charges me up. Anyway, last chat session was about how isolating this disorder can be. I come on this website for community and support. One of the reasons I hate looking at the DSM is because of the ducking statistics on isolation.

My highlights are basically seeing my therapists, you guys, and my cat pumpkin aka kitler.

I could always date one of the girls at Tim Horton's. I can't even go there without their harassing me, "oh you're wearing the same shirt that matches your eyes. While I think, "no ****, I have no motivation to clean my clothes because I'd rather spend my time coping. I'm about to tell them A) I've got a girlfriend-- Oh wait, I already did! B) I live with my mother. It annoys the **** out of me. Give me a coffee and Ill give you my credit card. I don't like to be the center of attention. I don't even tell people if it's my birthday.

My mother couldn't pay gas bill, and says she wont at all. It's 34F in Michigan--and we have no gas to heat the place. Even my cat is like, "WTF is going on here." You can believe me that she's cuddled as much as she can next to me.

Okay, I'm at the library and I'm seeing cougars everywhere. I love cougars. They're my favorite species. If I wasn't a vegetarian... Wait, nm

America!

yup, like after the first round and then your stomach like... nope you're not done yet. Then I'm like REALLY?!

At work, there is a bathroom near where we all sit down and to discuss our mission for the day. This one guy would always say, "oh my god!" as if he were having sex. You could hear it splatter. I swear, the guys a sshole must have been on h is back because he would spray the back of the toilet each time. Every morning. The way that guy conducted himself was hilarious.

Too much information?

America!

I am laughing so hard right now, I needed that laugh so thank you! HAHAHAHA.

I'm in the middle of the introversion/extroversion spectrum. So it's kind of tricky for me to know how to balance it out for myself and I'm still learning. I like interacting with people but I like being alone just as well. It's hard for me to know when one of those is out of balance, it takes me awhile to catch it.

My schizophrenia often makes me appear far more introverted than I actually am because well it's the nature of the disorder. But I like interacting with people when I am well enough. I enjoy people. But like I said I need the balance piece of it.

What I really love ( ) is when it happens in the middle of the ****ing night(if my sleep schedule isn't flipped that is, lol). It's like, "REALLY, this couldn't have waited until I was actually awake and didn't have to stumble to the bathroom half asleep?"

Yeah, that happens to me. God... it gets to the point where I'm steps away shitting my pants. Luckily there's only been a couple of times where I've actually shat in my pants. Was not fun times.

Omg, exactly!

Lol, nothing is sacred on roll call.

thank you atypical. that means a lot to me!
and im glad you can relate.

i lost the old nostalgia games but i bought the new recent 3DS games. i play them now.

Of course, you were the first person to reach out to me when I started posting here. I haven't forgotten that, and you and I have a lot in common... like getting sick early and stuff... You understand me like few others here do. That means a lot to me.

Well, my package didn't come. It must be at the post office which means it will get here tomorrow. I did however get a keychain I ordered with my college's name on it.

Dropping out of high school, too many missed days because of my mental health.

I feel like a failure

I can't remember if I took my afternoon dose of Depakote or not, I guess I should start putting my meds in a pill organizer again.

I barely completed high school myself because of my schizophrenia(frankly I'm amazed I pulled it off and I had to be home schooled). You're not a failure, it's not your fault that you have an illness.

There's always next year... or you could always get your GED. You aren't a failure. You just have more to deal with than the average student.

I just got back from the vet, not my work, with my cat, Skip. It was time for his 150k tune up. He got his oil checked and wheels rotated, aligned and balanced. So he should stop veering to the left now.

Are you still considering school online? Like Atypical said, you're definitely not a failure.

I missed so many days of high school. They sent truant officers to my house and everything. I somehow made it, I had detention nearly everyday for unexcused absences and was on the "non participation list" so couldn't participate in prom and stuff like that. But whatever. What grade are you in? I used to get physically sick just thinking about school. Is the school aware of your situation? Ask the school if you can be on what's called "Home Bound" they send someone to your house and give you school work, I had to do it for awhile when I was out due to having several kidney stones.

I hate to see someone drop out, I almost did and I'm so thankful I didn't. I take classes with a college online now (it's an actual accredited school, not like Phoenix/Everest University and that for profit crap).

I'm in 11th grade.

My mom is trying to see if I can get that Home Bound thing, but if I can't I'll just take my GED I guess.

Question:

Does it ever just hit you all of a sudden how much your life sucks because of your illness?

It's one of those days for me. I'm so pissed off...

Schizophrenia ruined me. ****.

Yes, everyday. I hate my life.

I'm sorry. I know it's hell.

I try not to think about it. I would cry "for no reason" hard because I didn't know what was wrong with me out of no where. I became cold and distant from a typical ADHD kid. Why my mom moved in with my step dad.. Abusing my little sister.. Broken family.. Afraid to help her, in the middle of psychosis at 16 and didn't realize it. He abused my mom physically and I didn't know and the worst part is that she still loves him.. I can see why you're pissed.. everyone has a life and I say no to parties, not talking to people completely, isolation. Sleeping on the desk, hallways.. Then the depression lifted but the risperidone would knock me out for a milisecond in the middle of a conversations.

My step dad and I finally had a physical fight and he went to jail, I went to the hospital.. Again.. My mom said that I couldn't win in court to get him banned from Canada BUT I WOULD HAVE WON. My mom tricked me and said I probably lose. She can go to Poland with him but what ever they have two houses and are planning to live in BC in paradise while my dad still has to work, drinking when he's not while wanting to kill himself a few years ago. Why did I say that I have forgiven him? Because my mom pushed me to. Now I'm pissed because people keep messing with my emotions. I deep down can not forgive this bastard. He ruined my life and made it worse.. Probably triggering psychosis.

I'm pissed too. I went back and forth between school and the hospital so I'm still in highschool and it's like the illness is kicking me while I'm down to try and finish the job by interfering with my focus, motivation.. Everything..

My family life sucks too.

Like I need the added stress, the ****ers...