Roll Call 53

junk

its gonna be all right

***trigger***

My daughter, who lost her battle with mental illness, is still the bravest person I know - The Washington Post

really good article. sad. reminded me of myself

That one hit a little too close to home.

That article hit me hard

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sorry didn't mean to upset anyone.

sorry guys

You didn't do anything wrong. People can choose what they expose themselves to. You didn't force anyone to read it.

It is a sad article, I see myself in the not wanting to take the meds cycle...

me too...it resonated with me. i spent a lot of time going on and off my meds and winding up in hospitals bc of it. even the part when it said her voices told her not to take her meds. that happened to me all the time. my T would call me every night to help me take them. otherwise i wouldnt and i would go off the deep end and flush them all down my toilet...

i see so much of myself in that. like so much. i had to skim it. i couldnt read the whole thing because i dont think i couldve handled it. but i got the entire jist of it i read about every other sentence.

um i know im having psychotic symptoms now but im not really having a break. but i hope i dont have a break. im in ther perfect time for a break. i was doing well for almost a year off meds and then i start having symptoms. thats about the time for a break.

well im on my meds now. even my haldol. cuz i got desperate to not have a break. but im not on the full dose of haldol. admittedly. but im on it.

but i still dont have all much faith in the mental health system even tho the resources i use. therapy and pdoc.

I can't take this anymore. I'm fighting with the bad nurses that shouldn't be here. I feel like causing hell I'm angry. They're getting pissed at people signing out to go for a smoke because they have to walk a minute to the door and open it, wait for someone to sign in or out and wait until the person leaves. Idgaf their pay is like 150 an hour eh..

Here's what my dad says,



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Thanks for the article...makes me think I should stay on the meds even if things are fine.....

This is actually one of the main reasons I'm quitting my job, honestly. My memory and concentration are not great, and it is increasingly frustrating and embarrassing. When I'm at the kitchen, everything moves constantly and quickly. I function much better under those circumstances.

i wish i could see hugs on tapatalk

i wish i could give hugs too on tapatalk.
i havent been on my computer much lately except to do my homework. i can only give "thanks" on here.

edit// unless i do:

Had a rough afternoon. Missing my family, unfortunately most of them are dead so I won't get what I need from them. The other family member may as well be dead, we have zero contact. I actually have a restraining order on her *sigh* I wish she weren't so ****ed up...I need her.

**** it...took my night meds in hopes of passing out.

Ditto. **** today.

guys

i took my night meds too.

They told me that they would be here today. They weren't so I guess that's all it takes to keep me away from street drugs. They owe me 200 dollars but I told them to go f themselves, screw me over and take my money, blocked the emails and texts and told them not to contact me again.

i will be taking my night meds soon but i dont have anymore ambien. i was taking more than i had because my therapist recommended me to and i cant get it refilled early. so yea. thanks a lot a-holes.

I'm really proud of you for doing that. I was a bit scared of what those drugs would do, mixed with your current drugs. I'm sorry you're out $200 though.

I took 10 mgs of Ambien tonight. I just want to sleep

THIS is why i use my OWN judgement. THIS. THIS. THEY dont know me.

i think ive come to terms that my house and being alone really stresses me out because whenever im out and with someone else im not angry or im not that that stressed. i have anxiety as usual. but im actually better when im not alone. i actually have less physical problems too when im not alone. less headaches and less little issues like stomach problems and stuff.

im just cooped up so much.

sorry im complaining.
at least im trying to do something about it.

I might not drop out, might try to go back to school.

Its just so tough

school makes my symptoms worse