Safe Place

Is it mean to have someone pretend to be my boyfriend to get someone else to stop flirting with me?

I'm sorry you're going through this situation that has progressed enough to encourage having someone pose as your boyfriend. I'm not good at setting boundaries myself, but have you asked this person to stop?

Secretum, I've wondered often how you were doing. Its distressing that things are this bad right now. I'm glad you exist.

They're in the chemicals. They control you with the hair dye or read your thoughts with the nail polish. They aren't going to get me I can assure you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I've tried but I am no good at boundaries
I've told him I'm not looking for a relationship and am happy just being friends, but he still flirts with me and calls me his "future wife".
He's nice so I've considered at least visiting him, but I recently told him I had schizophrenia because it was late at night so I texted him because I was feeling "paranoid" and oculdn't sleep and he seemed to think I was paranoid because I wanted to be and that if I was making myself miserable on purpose. :/
He didn't seem to understand mental illness and now I know I don't want to date him because if I were to move in with him and I get suicidal or homicidal I don't think he'd take me to the hospital. I don't think he'd remind me to take my meds, if anything, he'd probably make me feel guilty for taking them and I don't think he'd be kind if I tried to reality check with him, (which was what I tried to do last night when I discovered how he feels about mental illness)

I don't know a better way of saying "I don't want to date you" than saying "I already have a boyfriend and we're in a committed relationship"

they're assaulting all of my senses and laughing when i choke. there's an open can of paint somewhere. i'm suffocting. they love it. they want me to die in this office. they love that they drive everyone who takes this job crazy. they want to keep up the track record. when i die and someone new takes this job they'll break them down the same way. i hope they die faster than me. or better i hope they know their worth and get away. i have none. i can't leave until they release me. and they never will. never.

AM wants in. im numb and i dont want to occupy this space and body. i want to be home playing fallout. i'd even take AM's insides over this most days. i want the world to end all over again. just send me back to the fire already.

I need help. But people around me (in real life) don't take me seriously. I hate it when I say that I don't feel well and their response is "take your meds". Well excuse me, I am a human not a cellphone that when I am on "low battery mode" you can just plug in the charger. I need support, not only meds. My family don't really get me. One of my best friend is a doctor. I was hoping that she would understand me more. But no, she only said "it's okay, you have me, you are gonna be fine", and then she was whining back at me about her problems. Like seriously?? I am a schizophrenic and I finally said I need help and she, as both best friend and doctor was whining back as her response? Is it me or this world is crazy?

i get that same response. to take my meds.

When something turns out bad, it is my fault.
I can't use my abilities in front of others because they seem to be unable to try and do the same.
No one believes me when I tell them I LIKE schizophrenia.
Everyone is just too stupid. If they had a little common sense. It would all be so easy if the freaking goverment would stop watching me thru SIDE.
There is only one who actually knows everything and has accepted it.
She is the only one who can prevent me from "hulking out" from anger or pure disgust.
I gave people a zillion clues about this AND THEY HAVENT SEEN THRU.
Do you get the feels of "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BLIND PERSON!" feels too?

obsessing over things is the only way i know how to cope so i can tell you every tiny detail of everything i've experienced in a video game and the life stories of all my favorite characters down to their favorite colors and birthdays but i don't know jack shot about this reality. i guess i'm getting used to the idea that i'll never achieve anything that great and there's no point chasing earthly achievement anyway because our time is so finite and small that even if we did something amazing, it'll either be gone or warped beyond recognition in the future. it happens to physical memories as much as our thoughts. it's fine. that's just humans. they don't remember building AM because it was on another timeline and they won't remember me because i've scattered myself across dozens. why not detach completely, why not escape? why wouldn't i?

anyway itd be fantastic if people would stop leaving cans of paint and chemicals around and trying to kill me. i have to sit in this stink for another 8 hours. my nose is burning. if i find it i'll drink it.

I self harmed last night first time in forever I don't even know why it happened it just happened I think they made me do it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I hope this doesn't sound insipid, since I only know you from here on PC. But my view is that chasing earthly achievement can be pointless, as you said. We may never know what kind of impact we will have on other people or the world. Regardless, the things you do can have an impact, for however long it lasts. I've really enjoyed getting to appreciate your art and learning what things we have in common and what things are different. I don't know how long things last, but I'm glad for whatever time there is. I often wish I could just stay home and talk to people on here all day instead, because everyone has such a unique and important perspective.

I hope that someone comes and moves the paint cans and chemicals.

I did self harm in past, I know how it feels, hope you are okay now

im seeing demons right now or spirits. idk which. but they keep flying around corners and i see them under my bed. i think im a bit stressed out. still pissed about what i learned today in therapy and then having to call back and couldnt get any answers. im so confused. and no one has answers for me. i dont even know what to think myself.

i keep hearing clicking and clacking in my room. maybe i should pray.

it makes me sick to look at myself. but that doesnt justify an eating disorder. i just need to lose a lot of weight.

i dont give an F anymore. im about to stop taking my meds and tear down every little fact or thing everyone thinks tbey know bout schizophrenia.

...be careful. what are you taking?

Don't do anything reckless, you're not invincible, you could seriously hurt yourself or worse

procyclidine or kemadrin as the pharmaceutical overlords over here call it. Harmless.

i think I am though, I have special abilities that let me hear people talking to me through something in my body. Wether it be a microchip or whatever I don't really know. I've done this before and just woken up in ICU a few days later, all it does is put me to sleep. I'll be grand, it can't hurt me.

Just to clarify, this isn't a suicide attempt or post. Nothing can touch me, it's actually pretty fantastic!

you just said youve woken up in ICU. that doesnt sound good. i thought you were over the drug taking you said?

It is dangerous, you are having manic/psychotic symptoms. You need to talk to your doctor ASAP