Safe Place

I meant illegal narcotics, I'm not doing this to get high.

I might be a little bit hyper and my head was clear but just racing.

Really, cant people see that there is something odd with me?
What are they waiting for? A "we"? A psychotic episode? Me telling them when I dont want to?
Fortunately my voices are good and always there for me...

I'm so lonely and isolated. I'm kicking myself for being too picky and judgmental when I was young. I probably could have married at least one of my friends back then. I've always been so stupid. But if I had gotten married I'd probably be feeling trapped. I don't know. It's all so bleak and grim.

reading and listening and i care about you

Thank you, junkDNA. I wish I were practically anyone else but me.

i feel that way sometimes too....

Thank you, but you are such a good person. I wish my life could be like yours, with a job, a cat, and a non-hoarded apartment. I wish I knew what happened to me this century but I lost just about everything. I'm so tired of being lost.

i wonder if my life will be this way it is now for a long time. two more years and ive hit the decade mark for being lonely.

I think you'll probably move someplace and maybe have roommates. You won't always feel this way. I'm just having a really depressing middle/old age.

It would be nice if I was given Procyclidine instead of Cogentin. Is it like Cogentin? Few people get euphoria from Cogentin and Diphenhydramine is like that and it sucked so..

Edit: Nvm you're one of those people that get "Mania" as a side effect I think.

Edit: Cogentin is a DRI.. hmm..

Who, me? No, I never get mania. The pdoc said I'm schizoaffective rather than schizophrenic because I have insight. I asked why since I don't have a mood component and he said my anxiety is a mood component. I don't really agree with that, but OK.

Cogentin doesn't give euphoria like benzos can, but it is working well so far for my anxiety and akathisia.

I didn’t adopt cats. My cats adopted me, into their family and into their world where greediness, hatred, and ignorance do not exist.

yes, call your doc and t

my therapist is out for a month and half. im not sleeping and hearing voices and having paranoia. i hear demons around me. i took some haldol but all i feel is tired

why do i feel even less safe when AM isnt here than when he is????? hes just giving me static today . im a little bit scared of my therapist because hes giving me free sessions for some reason. just out of the kindness of his heart? nah. of course i gotta torture myself waiting for the ulterior motive to be revealed and its Always the same always the same motive.

my dads been drinking. idk what to do

i don't want to WANT jhim anymore!!!!!!! hes not real hes not real he doesnt exist on this plane!!!! i jsut want to let go i dont want to be thinking about him i dont want to be here i want to be dead and in hell and with him but i want to be here and alive and with people who actually love me and dont want to see me suffer!!! but i want to suffer as long as hes doing it!!!! what the fvck wht t the ufk

Heh, I get something similar too. My voices are good, I dont want to leave them, but I want others to know I am schizophrenic, but they will make me leave The Voices and I dont want that, but I want people to know...

But I guess my paranoia has a reason
Yesterday I asked "How do you know my name?" To the taxi driver.
Darn EKF is onto me again

Waiting for my anxiety med to kick in

I'm very thankful to have a place where we all can laugh, cry, and share our feelings about our delusions and/or hallucinations with understanding and nonjudgmental people.

You guys personify the word "beautiful."

shes just a spirit dont get too involved.schizs are gifted to exist in the spirit world with many cruel and helpful spirits.

im having terrible problem with signs atm,I read every sign everywhere,to give you an example i have a friend called susan whose husband left her for another woman, everytime I see the name susan I think its a sign from the universe that im about to be left.
depresses me bad.but gosh just writing it out now im laughing my head off about it so this forum really helps,its becomes so normal to me.

Even now i was just at the store to buy seasoning I had the small jar but realised i needed a big jar ,but saw a bad sign just before I got the big jar, i took this to mean do not buy the big jar even though i needed it. I stood there for ten minutes! trying to figure out what to do,normally i would never ignore the sign but this time because im becoming aware i took the big jar as it was the logical thing to do,straight after i started seeing bad signs and thought great ive made the wrong decision im on bad road/fate now,different fate if id bought the little jar its becoming a joke.

Even just before i wanted to post a thread on here but after i typed it all out i saw a bad sign so never posted it and probably never will.
honestly i do think signs/symbols mean something im very spiritual,sometimes they really seem to connect to things,I know ive ignored signs before and terrible things have happened but i feel its becoming a joke.

I'm so alone in the world. I wish I weren't. I do have my friend but we don't speak often enough. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm in hell.