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Angelique67 · Mar 21, 2016, 07:26 PM

My charming neighbors called the police on me again. Unless it's just another in a long line of the same trick over and over.

I've been very quiet here since new years.

newtus · Mar 21, 2016, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

My charming neighbors called the police on me again. Unless it's just another in a long line of the same trick over and over.

I've been very quiet here since new years.

i thought you said theyve been bothering you since new years?

Angelique67 · Mar 21, 2016, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

i thought you said theyve been bothering you since new years?

Yes, they have been. I haven't shouted or made noise at least since then. So this makes me sick.

joacobanfield · Mar 23, 2016, 08:50 PM

Is there any way to educate them on your illness? Make up "An official panflet deciepting common symptoms of illness C, since undiagnosed cases are many" thing?

And yes, I have chosen both. One of my voices wants me to give anti-bullying speeches in schools under the guise of the superhero without a suit, Schizo-Man. She's even made lyrics for his theme!
Idea is postponed...for now.

Angelique67 · Mar 23, 2016, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joacobanfield

Is there any way to educate them on your illness? Make up "An official panflet deciepting common symptoms of illness C, since undiagnosed cases are many" thing?

And yes, I have chosen both. One of my voices wants me to give anti-bullying speeches in schools under the guise of the superhero without a suit, Schizo-Man. She's even made lyrics for his theme!
Idea is postponed...for now.

Lol, it's a nice idea! They just laugh though, at everything. When I say oh my God, they act like that's the funniest joke they ever heard. I don't think sensitivity is in their lexicon.

Angelique67 · Mar 26, 2016, 03:48 PM

No one hears the voices but me. They're laughing at that for some reason. I hate their laughing. I hate everything about them. I'll try more aps added to what I'm taking already and hope I get rid of them.

ofthevalley · Mar 26, 2016, 04:00 PM

Angelique

Angelique67 · Mar 28, 2016, 05:05 AM

Now, I finally found out they've had a camera in here much longer than I thought. It's been in here since last summer at least. They've been referring to a time way back months and months ago that I did something private. No one could have seen it without a camera in here.

I'm so physically sick of those freaks I can't even find the words. Every day I have nausea because of them. I hate them and their crimes and I want to get away from them ASAP.

My friend doesn't understand how bad this is because he says he can't hear them.

Everything they're doing is a crime. I want to escape. Luckily almost everything is packed.

ofthevalley · Mar 28, 2016, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Now, I finally found out they've had a camera in here much longer than I thought. It's been in here since last summer at least. They've been referring to a time way back months and months ago that I did something private. No one could have seen it without a camera in here.

I'm so physically sick of those freaks I can't even find the words. Every day I have nausea because of them. I hate them and their crimes and I want to get away from them ASAP.

My friend doesn't understand how bad this is because he says he can't hear them.

Everything they're doing is a crime. I want to escape. Luckily almost everything is packed.

I'm glad you are almost packed!

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Loial · Mar 28, 2016, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Now, I finally found out they've had a camera in here much longer than I thought. It's been in here since last summer at least. They've been referring to a time way back months and months ago that I did something private. No one could have seen it without a camera in here.

For me, it was stuff like that that helped me realise the voices were inside my head. Especially when they started talking about stuff from my childhood that only I knew.

Anyway, I'm sorry you are still going through this... I understand how hard it is having no-one believe you but I think even you are realising that there is an element on psychosis to what is going on with you.

I hope that adding a new AP does help.

When do you move out?

Angelique67 · Mar 28, 2016, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

For me, it was stuff like that that helped me realise the voices were inside my head. Especially when they started talking about stuff from my childhood that only I knew.

Anyway, I'm sorry you are still going through this... I understand how hard it is having no-one believe you but I think even you are realising that there is an element on psychosis to what is going on with you.

I hope that adding a new AP does help.

When do you move out?

I don't know when I'll go. I don't have a new place yet and I'm not sure where I'll end up.

They are torturing me all day and all night. The woman talking loudly last night saying I must go because I am bad for the lives of her and her children, that was at 3:30 am. And it was real. They were just starting another trick.

When it's not real is when they start "reading my thoughts". Narrating my thoughts. I know they can't do that.

I wish I could have gotten away from here not long after they moved in. I'd have been much safer. These are psychopaths. They don't care what they do. As long as they're torturing someone they're happy.

12AM · 11:08 PM

Possible trigger:

Explanation over explanation over explanation yet a thousand years wouldn't be enough for them to understand. Such a waste of time. Now I no longer give a fvcc. But then what, one day when they figure out what I do to help myself, they will ask "why? how could you?". And then another explanation over explanation over explanation. It doesn't take a genius to understand my illness, dear my beloved people, it takes care. I just need a hug, is it too much to ask? They said I am bugging them with my delusion and hallucination and paranoia, "it's not real because no one can see them". Well I never see your brain either so your intelligent isnt real as well. I am in a foreign site, bleeding my self to translate my thoughts and this is all because you guys arent here!!

It's about people in real life, just to clarify. I thank God I have you guys here, I don't know where I would be now if I didn't meet you guys

12AM · Mar 28, 2016, 10:31 PM

Possible trigger:

Nah, never mind, I kinda like this type of pain, only in loneliness I can hear the time ticking

Mar 28, 2016, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12PM

Possible trigger:

Explanation over explanation over explanation yet a thousand years wouldn't be enough for them to understand. Such a waste of time. Now I no longer give a fvcc. But then what, one day when they figure out what I do to help myself, they will ask "why? how could you?". And then another explanation over explanation over explanation. It doesn't take a genius to understand my illness, dear my beloved people, it takes care. I just need a hug, is it too much to ask? They said I am bugging them with my delusion and hallucination and paranoia, "it's not real because no one can see them". Well I never see your brain either so your intelligent isnt real as well. I am in a foreign site, bleeding my self to translate my thoughts and this is all because you guys arent here!!

ofthevalley · Mar 28, 2016, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12PM

Possible trigger:

Explanation over explanation over explanation yet a thousand years wouldn't be enough for them to understand. Such a waste of time. Now I no longer give a fvcc. But then what, one day when they figure out what I do to help myself, they will ask "why? how could you?". And then another explanation over explanation over explanation. It doesn't take a genius to understand my illness, dear my beloved people, it takes care. I just need a hug, is it too much to ask? They said I am bugging them with my delusion and hallucination and paranoia, "it's not real because no one can see them". Well I never see your brain either so your intelligent isnt real as well. I am in a foreign site, bleeding my self to translate my thoughts and this is all because you guys arent here!!

It's about people in real life, just to clarify. I thank God I have you guys here, I don't know where I would be now if I didn't meet you guys

I'm sorry

11:58 PM

Possible trigger:

So! I've been thinking about offing myself quite a lot lately. I mean, I'm doing ok. I'm not depressed or anything I just don't see a point. I'm probably going to end up hurting someone else, I don't particularly care about people outside my own little bubble, and I've done things in the past that would generally be deemed 'evil' by the general population. My voices tell me to hurt people all the time, they've hardened me up. I take pleasure in people's misfortune who aren't members of my elite. I'm not really sure how long I can fend off the voices. They want me to hurt a person belonging to an organisation that they feud with. And I'm fine with that.

But again, my bubble, my circle of people I care for. Their lives would be ruined if they were associated with me, children bullied. So why not just end it. I'm afraid of death, death with no meaning or purpose. I was thinking about a way I could get myself killed. That would have meaning, and it would all connect. I would win. It would also please the people that talk to me, they would honor me for it.

I'm so proud of my country and I want to die for it. I want to die for what these people are telling me is truth. I understand now what these voices, these people, this organisation has been trying to do. And while I may not be able to do exactly what they want me to do, I'm still serving a purpose to our cause. Outside that amazing place, that place where our leaders fought.

Just a thought anyway.

Sometimes psychotic · 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Possible trigger:

So! I've been thinking about offing myself quite a lot lately. I mean, I'm doing ok. I'm not depressed or anything I just don't see a point. I'm probably going to end up hurting someone else, I don't particularly care about people outside my own little bubble, and I've done things in the past that would generally be deemed 'evil' by the general population. My voices tell me to hurt people all the time, they've hardened me up. I take pleasure in people's misfortune who aren't members of my elite. I'm not really sure how long I can fend off the voices. They want me to hurt a person belonging to an organisation that they feud with. And I'm fine with that.

But again, my bubble, my circle of people I care for. Their lives would be ruined if they were associated with me, children bullied. So why not just end it. I'm afraid of death, death with no meaning or purpose. I was thinking about a way I could get myself killed. That would have meaning, and it would all connect. I would win. It would also please the people that talk to me, they would honor me for it.

I'm so proud of my country and I want to die for it. I want to die for what these people are telling me is truth. I understand now what these voices, these people, this organisation has been trying to do. And while I may not be able to do exactly what they want me to do, I'm still serving a purpose to our cause. Outside that amazing place, that place where our leaders fought.

Just a thought anyway.

Chickenfoot this sounds really bad....I hope you don't go through with it, mostly for selfish reasons....I would really miss you.

Mar 30, 2016, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Chickenfoot this sounds really bad....I hope you don't go through with it, mostly for selfish reasons....I would really miss you.

It's ok sometimes, you'll have me here for a little while longer. This is going to take a shite ton of planning.

Mar 30, 2016, 07:16 PM

to all who are struggling right now.

I'm doing ok...even when I'm not really doing ok, I know that I will be ok soon, so that's something. I've ordered a rainbow moonstone necklace that will give me strength, and the Moon and I have worked things out, he was really mad at me over Easter, so everything will be ok in the end.

*Willow*

PointOfNoReturn · Mar 31, 2016, 06:12 PM

i am posting in this thread as i dont want to make my own thread because i dont feel safe revealing more information about me because the people monitoring me must be onto this by now, as i have been here for a while. so i am limited to posting only in two sections of the forum, 'Schizophrenia and Psychosis' and 'Self Injury'. which is ok, i dont post much anyway.

Apr 02, 2016, 10:21 PM

i hate music
i hate it catch 22 i need it to keep away voices but all music does it speak messages to me about hurting people i love
prophecies of the terrible things i have done and will do
singing about how horrible i am

12AM · Apr 03, 2016, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

i hate music
i hate it catch 22 i need it to keep away voices but all music does it speak messages to me about hurting people i love
prophecies of the terrible things i have done and will do
singing about how horrible i am

I am sorry Kori, how about listen to your own song? Will it help?

joacobanfield · Apr 03, 2016, 07:03 PM

What about changing the lyrics of one? That's what I do

Apr 04, 2016, 11:24 PM

I will try that
I have tried playing my own music too on the ukulele but it just makes the voices louder and it makes it harder to play and sing

psychoticcr7 · Apr 05, 2016, 12:24 PM

Hello guys! First of all I think I am beginning to understand my cause of illness. Second I am curing myself. It is hard, hard, hard.

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