Roll Call 59

heh, rhino's and hippos and many other o's are though ****.

I'm not going to lie.... I'm hyper as **** right now.

dude wht the fudge yo

thats a terrible feeling im sorry

i feel like crap balls. weird. just weird.

Today, I'm done with smoking and drinking.

I found a game that helps me with certain thoughts I get.
It keeps my doctor and nurse happy as well, I love Hatred

I would say I WANT to give up smoking. The only reason I really still smoke is because I'm addicted and I recognise that fact. The thing is cravings have a way of convincing you that you enjoyed smoking when actually that's not really the case. I just like not going into withdrawal. That's why I think NRT might be a better route because I found it minimizes cravings if done correctly. I know my first experience of successfully quitting won't be mirrored in this quit, but I still think it bodes well especially with the tools I've picked up in my latest attempt.

If someone was to ask me how am I feeling, I would answer "I don't know". That's exactly the same answer I'll give here... I'm not the best at reaching for answers like these.

To me it seems that they just appear out of nowhere. Maybe once or twice there have been residual triggers but generally not. I have noticed over my many attempts to quit though that they tend to come in the mornings. By the time it gets to evening I can manage quite happily on NRT or with medication. I guess this knowledge is at least something.

I know that fighting cravings requires one to actively deal with them rather than being passive and just waiting for them to go away. I do find the troublesome ones however are the ones that seem to last forever. People say cravings only last a few minutes but that is bollocks... you can get a general feeling of wanting a cigarette which may not be an intense craving but wears you down over time. That's what has been causing me to relapse.

Thanks for the support and advice...

I know I can do it, it's just a matter of keeping trying until I nail it. I feel like it won't be long before that happens either... they do say the more times you try to quit, the more you're likely to succeed.

Hi all ,

Thought I'd say hi , I'm back for a while.

Good morning folks. Yesterday I ended up having to work a double, which translated into 11 1/2 hours. By the end of the day, I was almost delirious. The first half was a nightmare and all my orders got backed up. But the second half went much more smoothly. The other girl and I are a good team.

Loial, I believe you're going to find what works best for you soon. Cheers!

I think today I'm going to have a mini, Fawlty Towers-athon. I have to work at 5, so I need to get my fill of frustrated, witty comments stocked up. For instance:

Chef: Why isn't my salmon salad ready yet?
Me: Who are you, Henry Kissinger? It has to cook, you cloth-eared bint!

Yah. I think that'd go over well.

In other news, I'm making pancakes.

@Door - I like your attitude. Just try not to model yourself after Manuel too much...

So, I'm just opening some beers. Question though, do you think it is bad to drink alone? Does anyone else here?

I feel that apart from the weekends at my parents house I don't have much choice to should I want to. In the past I would have phoned up a friend(s) and gone out or got them over but now I don't have anyone around to call on. I see it as just a product of my circumstances.

I used to drink alone. I had fun making mixtapes for a friend back then while I was drinking. But I rarely drink at all anymore.

morning.
had a cluster headache this morning. its gone. after i threw up. same headache i had yesterday. migraine.

Watched A Nightmare Before Christmas, haven't seen it in a long time.

I got an appointment with my pdoc on the 12th, I need to discuss with her the issues I have being out in public places.

Maybe you could try some therapy?

I see you have have GAD listed in your signature... is it the stress that causes you to have problems in public places or do you think it's just your psychotic features that are the problem?

I don't think there is anything wrong with drinking by yourself. Although, drinking with friends is obviously much more fun.

It's stress, you're right I probably should make an appointment with my therapist and talk about it. I get so anxious I actually feel like people are whispering about me and making jokes to each other.

Yeah I've been there... when my GAD was playing up I'd always assume the worst. People are laughing, at me... people are staring, at me... etc. It comes down to what you call cognitive thinking errors. I think the relevant one here is jumping to conclusions... just even recognizing you are doing so can be a help.

Whenever I hear of someone suffering through a cluster headache I really feel for them, because I used to get them. They were hell and worse than a migraine. I can still remember the throbbing pain I used to get around my left eye. My left nostril would often run as well. Once one started I had to get away from people and go somewhere dark and quiet. Laying down usually made them worse.

yea my left nostril kept running. i had to blow my nose and my eye was running. my left eye is tearing up just thinking about it. i guess i just call all my headaches migraines but i should specify them. this one was a cluster headache. but i often get migraines. do you know how to treat them? i took a zyrtec thinking it was related to allergies cause the runny nose. antihistamine. anyway idk. it didnt go away til i threw up.

If you feel them around your eyes or sinuses sometimes taking a really hot long shower will help clear up your sinuses and relieve the pressure.

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do u go out a lot in public? some of this may be because if you dont do it regularly then the social anxiety rears up when u do. i say this because i spent 2 years holed up in my house out of fear of going into public for these same reasons, people staring, talking, laughing about me. it sounds a lot of like social anxiety type paranoia.

I used to get them when I was a child. They went away after I started puberty. Now I get 2 or 3 migraines that affect the entire left side of my head a year.

When I used to get these headaches they lasted for about 3 or 4 hours. Sometimes my mother would give my Tylenol but it usually didn't help. I found being alone in a room that was quiet and dark helped a lot. Sometimes I would try to focus on objects in the room.

Did the headache tire you out? Usually I would nap after the pain subsided, because it was exhausting.

I try to prevent migraines. Irregular sleep patterns, especially over sleeping, and hormones trigger mine.

My TMJ sometimes causes terrible headaches but without light sensitivity and nausea. If I don't drink my morning coffee I will also get a terrible headache.

I feel like something is wrong. I normally always want to reply to everyone here but the last few days, I don't even feel like reading anything.

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Little get together tonight. Have some anxiety over it but I'm sure it will pass once my company shows up and settles in.. maybe it will turn out to be more. I'm not sure yet. I get so frustrated with day long anxiety over such simple things.. and it usually evaporates when my friend shows up.. ugh. Anyway tonight should be fun. Happy friday.

Well your posting here now so that counts for something!

I go through periods where I don't know what to say, I'm sure it's just something similar & you'll be reading/posting again soon.

I'm sure you'll have a good time... enjoy! Happy Friday right back at you...