Roll Call 63...

People can hide on the Internet. It can serve to give the illusion of protection to people who feel vulnerable, or it can be a way for people to show their "true colors" in a way that won't be tolerated nearly as well face to face as opposed to screen to screen. Pfft.

Just finished watching the 1st season of American Horror Story, it was really good

I believe its the latter. because people still use their real name on FB. people can change their names - which happens. but most of the time Im seeing people use their real name and comment on news stories and other peoples posts/comments. like I said using their real name. which doesn't make it anonymous anymore like we used to be. and many sites opt to use facebook as a login to comment on anything from news articles to blogs and that makes us even less anonymous. where we could use sobriquets and psuedonyms we now have our real name. so what are people hiding? not even our face anymore with avatars next to the facebook login.

good point though. very good point.

Haha that sounds like fun, see this is what we missed out on. Damn all girls catholic schools and their field hockey ughhh

lmao

something like that happened to me yesterday morning. i got a text from twitter with a confirmation code. i dont use twitter

Oh, interesting. Thanks for telling me, junkDNA. Maybe there's some sort of phishing thing going on.

maybe. if i were you i would change my FB password. i think the twitter thing was probably just bc someone typed in the wrong phone # while they were trying to do something to their account.

AT LAST! Someone read it, brilliant isn't it?

I mean sometimes I get suspicious of Keith when he doesn't return phone calls, texts or hold a conversation.

Ohhh, yes I see. Yeah I should probably change the password. I don't know what to change it to though. Hmm. Thanks.

I read it too, but it confused me so I didn't say anything lol.

I'm kinda depressed, I don't know why. I seem to get this way every evening. Mad at myself about my weight too.

whats different about the evenings? i get paranoid in the evenings.

There's this Youtuber I listen too, he sounds like chester bennington from Linkin Park, anyway his music is really good

I don't know, I just start thinking about my life and how I have no purpose anymore

bluebird

today went by fast. that makes me happy but this hour is going by slow.

btw snapchat is hard to use...

Never been so suicidal in quite a while. It was cold and snowing and I was on a boat in the river. My mom doesn't expect me to get anywhere in life it's like she gave up on me. Thinking about how I should have graduated highschool two years ago and my friends in Ireland are already going to university.

Everyone's living life. And I need pills? What's the difference? I still feel like **** and I'm still alone and struggling with motivation and stupid things.

WITH THESE CHANGES OF MOOD GOING BACK AND FORTH, I NEED TO LOSE IT NOW OR ILL LOSE IT LATER. Maybe I should take cogentin idk. They are trying to kill me by leaving me with hundreds and hundreds of Prozac pills. Popping ten oh yay I'm completely numb!!

How about I say **** everyone and drive my car to live with my dad because he lives with his mother too. Oh wait I'm a psychiatric patient and the cops will be called..

I won't let this go.. I want to be educated.

Why the hell do I seriously think that I can make 100 versus in rhyming within a year. Apparently I'm going to write a book. More than one like a couple. It comes and goes and I don't know how to hold down these grandiose thoughts.

I can't give up. I have so much potential. Honestly, the rhyming was doing really well until I messed with my meds. Again. I did it this time again with the Concerta.

Giving me two when I need three Concertas is like saying that I'm good enough. Maybe I'd be good enough if I cut my other meds in half? Because they seem to be working well considering I took three a day anyways.

I want an injection every two weeks because I don't want to feel emotions. Just study because what use is having emotions when there's no stimulation, inhibition by drinking what ever negative symptoms are the problem again.

Schizophrenia... I'll mix coke with it I don't care anymore. Maybe I have to face the fact that I'm not able to be successful because I have no motivation. Successful for what?

What is going on in the world beyond this basement.

If I left to go into my apartment, my mom would lose 2k a month from my dad and I so she says I'm not ready to be on my own. What? Why can't I just move out? Oh ya I have no friends anymore and the apartment is in her name.

Is my future dead? The doctor in the hospital that wanted me to go on disability is because she's seen people with sz that are really successful with that bit of help.

I feel like I lost my life and I'm just useless like my mom said. It's horrible to have people like this. She cries and then messes with me when I'm sick and I can't see past my hatred of everyone. I get what Newtus is saying now being in this position in a simular way.

still havent gotten my period. i felt irritated at work. i have to work again tomorrow. they are now saying the cashiers can't have drinks or purses at their registers. but they do not offer a place to keep them. i feel like this is not right. i asked the manager what the logic was behind that and he said because its not personable to be drinking something when a customer walks up. i said , its human.. i think most people understand.

i mean for real, what if i am on my period. where am i gonna keep my tampons? now that they took away the aprons i cannot keep them in there. i feel like these stupid men make these decisions and dont think about things like that. and of course it doesnt effect them, they dont get periods and they have an office to sit in and drink their drinks and eat their take out.

can u tell i am irritable

im sorry.

my dad wears an apron at the grocery store.

we used to wear aprons but they said not anymore. we got a new ceo and hes making changes

This is so true. I used to run a forum and we were a no sensoring forum so it was pretty much aa free for all. I sometimes read back on the rants i wrote and I can't believe how I behaved. Unchecked mental illness seems to make me really *****y lol. I shudder to even think about it.

My anxiety is starting to get worse again because of the appointment tomorrow. I don't want to go! But I hope they'll have flu shots. I actually need one now. I'm worried they won't.

Going to see the doctor is anxiety riddled for most people, for people like us it's close to a death sentence. You don't need anymore to worry about. I hope things go smoothly and you'll get your flu shot.

Thank you! It does feel like a death sentence!