Roll Call 63...

I know it does. Point of reference...I have super high cholestoral and have been medicated for must be at least 4 years. Well I ran out of meds and needed a new doctor. I met with him twice and all he did was talk to me, there was no exam, no discussion about doing an exam. Just a really weird meet and greet x 2. I blew off all the appts after the first and he finally refused to refil my meds so I'm off to a new doctor in hopes of getting my cholestoral under control.

Anyone want to play confession???

My confession is that I've been shopping lately. Shopping is my happy place I could shop for my kids all day long. In an attempt at getting these clothes at a discount, I opened up 5 store credit cards. I need 5 more bills like I need a hole in my head. These are the times I feel manic. The shopping high is like nothing I've ever felt before. If they could develop a pill for this I'd add that one in with the other 4011 pill I take daily.

That sounds awful. I hope you get a good doctor and get your prescriptions refilled soon. This one I'm seeing at the clinic isn't very good at all and I resent having to go there just for the prescription refills.

I truly don't undertstand why thry make things so difficult

I had a shopping addiction in the 90's. I eventually had to join debtors anonymous and I cut up all my cards and eventually declared bankruptcy. The stress was awful, and it took 7 years of course and I still haven't built back my credit 15 years later. Of course I'm no longer working and that matters too. I don't really need credit anymore, except I guess it helps with getting a new apartment when I eventually move.

I empathize with the spending compulsion. It was so much fun. I still get a rush when I buy something but I've realized I can't buy something just because I want it, it has to serve a purpose, so it has to be something I need and will use. Good luck with getting the spending back under control.

Thank you

Money I guess. They make money every time we go. I don't pay anything out of pocket there but I'm sure the insurance lays out hundreds for every 10 minute useless visit.

Morning!

Just back from my daily walk... it's really starting to seem like autumn now. You can almost see the leaves changing colour everyday & every time there is a gust of wind there is a sea of leaves floating down!

Considering going to the cinema this afternoon to see The Martian... seen the trailer & it looks like a pretty good film! Fan of both Matt Damon & Ridley Scott so I'm sure it won't disappoint.

Good morning, my I'm having my daughter stay home from school today because she's feeling flu-y. I wish I could be home with her. Got to work a double though. Angelique, I hope your appointment goes well.

That's what I think, also. I have met a few in the former group, but mostly online it does seem to be the latter. Exceptions aren't unheard of though.

Facebook is a mess, I stay out of things on there because I have better things to do than sit on Facebook all day and get involved with people's drama that I frankly don't care about. I only have an account to stay in touch with friends who now live far away from me.

Thanks, Door! I hope your daughter feels better soon. Have a good (long) day.

I don't know what it is about late afternoons/evenings either, but my Schizophrenia symptoms do tend to flare more severely during those hours, I have symptoms all day but anyone who's been friends with me for long notices that I am far worse off between 4:00 PM and 11:00 PM. Then I level out again, rinse and repeat. I think every mental illness has cycles...

What a nightmare. Almost got sectioned, freaked out on a night out with friends and now I have to start uni. This is pushing my limits. But I have to do it. No time to waste. Increased my depot, maybe that will make living with the truth easier. Social obligations everywhere. I want to make and keep friends I don't want to be alone like last year. Got to keep the face on they must only see normal. I'm sure I will be okay but I can't seem to see it right now. Had a lecture and couldn't concentrate none of her words went in it's like they were hitting a brick wall. Risperidone every night maybe that will help. I don't believe in medication for a condition that doesn't exist but I will cooperate for the good of the world and my world.

Yeah, thinking back on it I was a bit wild on the internet when I was younger. I've only gotten banned from one forum though (when I was a teenager) lol, and that was during a nasty psychotic episode but I was still acting like a jerk. I wasn't even angry about it when I got banned, even narcissistic me knew I deserved that, HA HA HA!

I mostly behave myself online these days, though sometimes I can randomly say something seriously callous things and not even realize that I said something out of line(same is true in real life, I can say remarkably insensitive things, I am the type to just blurt out exactly what I am thinking without realizing how harsh I can sound).

It's good to see you post, but it sucks things have been so rough. I am **** at support so I won't pretend I'm good at it but I did read this and I do sincerely hope things get easier for you soon.

Thank you that's kind any thoughts are nice so I appreciate it

Hey nice to see you around but I'm sorry things are hard for you at the moment...

I'm sure you'll find that you'll settle into a routine at Uni eventually & things will become more natural. Have you at least got access to a therapist or CPN that you can talk things over with when problems come up? I'm sure the Uni will probably have mental health services too which could be of use since they'll be more familiar with the sorts of stressors that students have to deal with.

My body is aching so much today. I barely slept. The upstairs neighbors started rolling bowling balls across their floor around 3:30 am and kept it up until about 4 am and I just didn't sleep. I don't want to go to that appointment. I will literally be dragging myself.

morning

just woke up. having coffee and la croix.

i had a dream i was in a modeling agency.

I had a dream about you, newtus. You were showing me some pictures online, I don't remember anything more than that.

i had a dream i was smoking this weird heroin

about me? wow!

are you having cravings for something?

Yes! I remember you, but not much else.

i wish i could find a good guy to date or possibly marry. thats what im thinking about right now.