Roll Call 64

I'm so bored, I can't believe this is my life. I wish I had a car so I could at least go for a drive! This is hell.

im bored too
im alone too
i have a car but live so far away from the city. well to me. 20 min. but thats just to the nearest gas station.

At least you could get a pack of gum or a candy bar.

Sorry to hear that...

Did nerves get the better of you or what?

but with a 20 min drive? thats like 40 min back and forth. not worth it but i wish there was one closer.

Yes! I guess for me it would be the same feeling after the thrill of having a car wore off. Right now I wouldn't mind driving 100 miles somewhere.

serious question...after i masturbate a lot of times i feel disgusted with myself. why?

ugh i killed roll call again. i ask you guys because i trust you and know you all to a great extent.

Do you feel depressed or guilt? It's perfectly normal to feel drained and depressed after an orgasm. Some people get reeeeally depressed after. If it's guilt and disgust, then it's just a you thing. It's really nothing to be ashamed of. You where probably brought up to believe it's not ok to talk about such a thing or do such a thing. Everyone does it, some people just aren't mature enough to talk about it and others don't know what they're on about. Like me. But... I had a point. Yeah, it's nothing to be disgusted about. Just don't over do it or you might hurt yourself.

thank you for replying!
it was never talked about in my family but i feel like kind of ashamed because maybe god doesnt want me doing it. the avenues i take to get me to the end point...like pornography...i feel like is a sin. i feel ashamed because of god. that might sound weird or something but i feel like im just outright sinning. i dont feel disgusted by my body or anything. but i feel guilt. i think it raises my dopamine level so i feel really happy for about a few minutes and then its like *BOOM* god is watching me and he wouldnt approve of what im doing :/

thats how i feel.

i mean ive been depressed afterwards before because i feel i have no boyfriend to experience great times with but its just usually the...the god thing.

Ya cuz everyone always cares about attractiveness and stuff and not intelligence then masturbating is just giving into the primitive brain it's stupid and I'd rather have a drug that increases dopamine and not think about it which is why it numbs the emotions a bit. Being social, thinking about girls is mindless but we cant stop thoughts like that.

Especially pedophiles. They must feel terrible but oh god I'm not getting into that..

Unfortunately for a lot of people that abuse speed or meth, they do it for 10-12 hours non stop while watching porn high because there's so much dopamine and is one of the most addicting things on earth.

I did it once 2 hours lol stopping wasn't even an option but I used to be extremely hypersexual and do it like 5-7 times a day. Never been so high in my life and I'm very sure than a heroin high couldn't compare. I was so high it was ridiculous and I was completely manic.

I was famous though for thousands of people and now on cam I'm like girl pls I'm not taking my shirt off and all you people want to do is talk about sex or guy cuz idk i didn't care and was high

Maybe you're disgusted because of your religious beliefs?

I mean why is schizophrenia, a rare genetic trait and..

Just like the Irish.. We're still here.

Espeically bipolar and schizoaffective..... mania = sex all the time and more sex

Hopefully you can get it the next time. I searched the rules online and they have tests about everything you need to know and practice.

I heard about a Chinese woman that finally got her license after like 30 tries.

Or live in Russia cuz you can just buy a license.

Dublin airport is funny cuz the americans get confused with the driving on the left side of the road and signs that are in the Irish language..

Killing that chat is like dropping something from a shelf in walmart and pretending you didn't notice and walk away while someones looking at you cuz you didn't want to pick it up.

Throwing a cigarette butt in someones yard or throwing something in the garbage in public and missing the garbage bin walking away while everyone stares.

you didnt kill the chat. i just dont know what to say to your posts ever.

yea but i learned people with schiz dont usually have a sex drive at all. unlike people with bipolar mania.

Waiting for my mom to get back from the grocery store, we're out of everything practically

XD.....................

My dad's going in the plane 10-12 hour flight to Argentina and then they clean the plane and fly even more south.

I'll see him in about a year this time :/

Idk how long he'll live but I remember i couldn't drink with meds and he gave me a glass of wine with him and said if anything happens, at least I can say I had a drink with my dad.

Ah the tears...

maybe a good question to ask your therapist. i had the same feelings when i was younger and ive tlked to my therapist about it.

I feel so heavy and stuff since I was last outside because I've been eating junk food all week. Very uncomfortable.

yea i really want to. its just embarrassing. i tried to talk about the subject once and she just raised her eyebrows. but then she started talking about it. so idk what she thinks about it. i trust you guys a lot more so thats why i feel more comfortable on here talking about it.

wait. youve talked to your therapist whos the same person you always mention here?

yes,......

why?.......