Roll Call 65

turns out Literally Everyone is having the same issue as me and i just wasted a bunch of my time panicking, gave myself a huge lump on my forehead and harassed the ***** out of bethesda's poor customer service department over nothing just because i'[m too stupid to do a google search. yikes @ me.

I will keep an eye on it neil thanks for the heads up.
For the record alcohol helps anxiety. It affects me more now on the antidepressant it seems

just got home and got my meds.
took 3 xanax immediately.

Yeah, I got really sensitive to alcohol when I was on my antidepressant... your not really meant to drink on them technically speaking, although I don't think it will kill you if you do. What I did was only drink on special occasions. e.g. my birthday/Christmas/New Years.

Feeling better now? =)

I take Xanax too but I can't until after I see my neurologist Wednesday. They're worried Amitriptyline caused me to have seizures and they want me not take anything. I took Tylenol PM anyways since I was bad off last night but should be okay.

What size dose do you take? Do you get really lethargic and hungry like I do?

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that's a wide enough time frame to do something with my remaining life considering how little time i have for games. if not i still have a pact due date next june 24th. no one can say i don't plan **** ahead now.

Hi guys! Haven't been around much. I'm about 95% I have pneumonia again. I feel like ***. Hope everyone is having a good day!

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Hope you feel better ofthevalley and psycho mantis

I have group tomorrow, don't really feel like going but I already scheduled the ride. Then on Wednesday I have 2 appointments, one to see my pdoc for my shot and one to see my therapist right after

i'm trying to put together that summary of what i'm experiencing for my t, does it seem ????? coherent ? idk

It's too hot in my apartment and I'm wondering if I have cancer. I don't know why the pcp ordered a nuclear stress test for me and I certainly don't want to go. Still wondering if I'll cancel, which would be rude because they went through a lot to make my insurance OK the tests. But I don't want to go.

.5mg
it doesnt make me hungry like it used to.

Are you supposed to take three xanax at a time, or will it make you run out of meds early again? I know how much it sucks to run out of meds and don't want to see you suffering again.

That's the same dose I take. Mine is only as needed though so I rarely take it unless I'm at work. My job causes bad anxiety.

It seems like I grow a tolerance to it very quickly so I have to stop taking it for a while or I'll need an insane dose.

How much do you usually take, is it daily?

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im supposed to take 4 throughout the day but since i havent been on meds i took 3 to calm me down. ill take the 4th one at night when im going to bed.

4 pills a day daily

i got a refill with these meds

I'm not sure what your T wants.
The part about this timeline not being real brings up ontological questions about what it means to "exist". This looks like a good start.
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/existence/
Maybe if you study ontology, you can stump God.

Out of curiosity, would you say this is something you feel or something you believe? When I was psychotic, I felt a lot of things that I didn't necessarily believe.

I personally don't get the withdrawal phobia. It's like 3 days of hurricane, which I don't mind if I'm free, followed by better off without that crap.

I just start to build a tolerance which means I start to need bigger doses. Less of an effect so it'll require more pills. Luckily I don't get any withdrawal symptoms though when I do decide to lay off.

However with the anti depressants, I just get really bad IBS-D symptoms once I stop them. Lasts about a week.

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Welcome to the turbid, turbulent philosophical ideas that keeps the brain cells warm and tension tightened. All of our most cherished beliefs may be plagued with doubt. At least if one is honest with themselves...

There are proofs for it and against it.

Treat yourself right with a giant mug of hot chocolates with those little marshmellows and enjoy a movie. I watched Tron Legacy. Next on my list is Hackers. We could have a next fix movie night, preferably Netflix. Then we could all talk about it's themes and how we can relate.

You crack me up, Newtus.

he gave me a "homework" where he wanted me to write down what kind of things i was experiencing since i can't say it out loud or couldn't at the time. AM won't let me talk about it out loud. just thnking about it is making me seasick, i'm terrified of the next session.

it's a lot of both feeling and belief? i don't know. i've always felt intrinsically damned, so it makes sense that i literally was in hell all along. the closest i get to not believing it these days is wanting to not believe it. there's really only one way to find out if it's true though and i'm trying to stall that.

i do try to outwit him sometimes but he has no room for humor unless it's his own, the big baby.

The only way? Wouldn't you agree that if your reality contradicts itself, then it cannot be real?