Roll Call 65

I am planning on getting back into playing my violin again. I got to buy a new tuner and some other stuff first though

goooood mornin g. i really miss college today, i love to eat up study tumblr accounts and feel like garbage. i wish i'd had a center on reality in high school and had rich parents and could have just gone to a good university straight away. now i have no idea what i'm doing or how to get back in. i had a 3.7-4.0 for my three semesters of community college, but i didn't get enough credits for it to count for anything. and the only reason i had it that high was from dropping so many classes. who am i even kidding, i wouldn't last a month at an actual university.

aww i miss violin so much, how long have you been playing? :Oc

I played for 4-5 years in school then I've been playing on and off the last couple of years. I need to refresh myself on everything though, I go through phases where I'm motivated then drop it for a long time. How about you?

Good morning everyone!

I had a bad weekend and really last week just sucked. I'm hoping things go better for me this week. I'm trying to be optimistic, hard to hack that when I'm a lifelong cynical ***** lol.

looks like im up and only got 5 hours of sleep. AND i have to drive today.

i cant have coffee.
thatll make me feel worse.

this really sucks.

aah i haven't actually played since middle school. all my extracurriculars were first on the chopping block when the depression hit. i've been meaning to come back to it for a decade. ;-;

Damn I'm sorry.

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i have to be perfect at everything it's the only way

Is it that caffeine makes you jittery? I can't have caffeine myself, makes me violently ill unless it's in very small doses.

How about tea? Some tea has very minor caffeine levels but mixed with sugar, it might help keep you alert?

Hope you're okay, be safe. =)

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I feel that way too. If everything isn't perfect, I'll start to panic. It will feel like I'm losing control on my life. I'll feel like people will notice me if I slip up. I'll become a failure. It's scary, right?

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it's more like. my perfection is just everyone else's mediocre. even if i'm doing everything as perfectly as possible it only measures up to the bare minimum. i can never slow down without consequence. so i need to stop slowing down.

I feel this way, also.

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Omg this. Exactly. I'm sorry, that's a terrible way to feel.

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I'm a bit of a perfectionist myself... if something isn't done to 100% of my ability then I won't be happy.

I think it also somewhat comes down to my GAD, I'm anxious about making mistakes & people seeing my efforts at less than what I consider satisfactory.

i think someone hacked me and stole my pipboy edition im fvcking done

I went to mental health recovery college meeting today. I'm volunteering to help make and run courses there when it gets started. I actually contributed and gave some good ideas. My cpn was there and said I did really well. They want service users to help run the courses to give a different dimension to them. I was so nervous but apparently I came across very calm and collected.
My anxiety is through the roof. I think it's the new antidepressant I'm on doing it. I get a wave of nausea and horrid shock of nerves whenever there's a noise that's slightly out of place and my chest is so tight. My mind and body are wired.

You inspired me to get my guitar out for the first time in many, many months... found it surprising how quick everything came back to me. I'm sure it'll be the same way for you...

I'm sorry your antidepressant is giving you side-effects. The one I was on also gave my nausea when I first started it too. It should clear up as your body gets used to it though...

That's great news about your volunteering, especially that you made a good contribution & your CPN thought so too. I'm sure you'll get less nervous about it all too when you get into the swing of things...

Thanks loial your probably right once I get used to volunteering it will be easier. I guess it means more to me because it's something I actually care about and I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of my cpn or let her down. But I didn't so it's all good.

Great job Justme!

When i was given sertraline as an anti depressant it made me manic! apparently this can happen to people who are bipolar or are otherwise prone to mania. i had to stop taking it within three days because of a number of other symptoms. the mania was great though, it stopped me from being depressed in record time! keep a watch on your moods. not saying youre bipolar or anything just that anti depressants can have radical effects on your moods.

yea coffee makes me jittery and im already jittery.

thank you

im at starbucks. i guess ill have coffee anyway

They do decaf you know... it tastes just the same...

no no no
:0 : o :O

decaf?!

no no no

LOLzzzz