Roll call 81

Haha. I don't think I've heard of xpresspost. Is that a feature of the Canadian mail system?

Yeah it ships anything within 1-3 days. I guess it is just Canadian.

I watch a lot of sports, it's a way for me to distract myself from life.

When I bought a pharmaceutical from God knows where, they used a shipper I had never heard of. At first, after I placed my order, I thought they were just a scam, but nevertheless I did receive my order, and apparently the shipper actually existed in some international capacity. So there are a lot of shippers that we may be unaware of. (I forgot the name of that shipping company - it was at least 15 years ago.)

I'm ao tires. Ok English now. I'm so tired. My.mom told.me some things that my sisters been doing and now I'm sad and scared for.my.moms safety. My sister had to.move in with my mom bc of her psychotic breakdown. I can tell she's hearing voices still. Apparently she.got drunk and yelled and cursed at my mom. My mom almost called the police. My moms gonna come to.my house on weds til fri. I want to.talk to.my T but he's away. We meet on wednesday

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

I want to take a university transfer course in the town next to me. My mom will drive me on her way to work.

But Idk what to take.

I'm thinking of pre-medicine or bachelor of science. Where will that even get me idk

Do I want to be a type of doctor .. yes.. but of course I can't be for idk what ever reason that will get in my way.

I was thinking of doing what my psychologist does. He's a psych nurse as well.

Problem: I've done every course in high school except grade 12 chemistry, physics and math cuz hospitalizations.

You can do it. You already know about all the medications haha. But seriously you can do it. You're young I say go for it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm sorry to hear about your sister and your mom.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You can probably take remedial courses in college of the classes you missed in high school.

I smell doggy farts... xD

For real or hallucination?

For real I'm going to assume because I got the dogs all up on me... One of them had to of done it. lol

Being taken off of Abilify cause it may be too activating and causing some of my insomnia, and instead my psychiatrist is putting me on Geodon, which I haven't been on since middle school. Also I took that gene test thing to see what meds matabalize well in my body and out of the APs Abilify was one of the worst to work in my body (I'm on 20mg, but it is working only like 10mg) and Geodon was one of the best to matabalize in my body, so we'll see.how being on this one works for both my BP symptoms (mainly depression) and my psychotic symptoms, along with seeing how well it sedates me at night...

I'm on 400mg Abilify every 3 weeks instead of 4 weeks and take 10mg a day so like 30mg a day total. Idk maybe I metabolize it far quicker because 2mg is supposed to cause 70% activation on the brain while 30mg works over 90% activation.

I just took two sprays of nicotine spray and I haven't used it in over 6 months.

Does wonders for negative symptoms..

I think it just works differently on everyone, I've been on Abilify since early May, and it just isn't doing anything for me... Well I'll see how.geodon works (again), it's been 11yrs since I've been on that one...

Happy 5am everyone!

I went outside to smoke a ciggy

I might get into talking English to Chinese kids on Skype.

People make like 500 dollars a day doing that.

To sing songs and award them by sending them a virtual fruit.

Good morning. Anyone know where loial has been?
****** day today. Doing stuff I really don't want to do. My husband had to take today and tomorrow off so I can do what I need to do. He wasn't real happy.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This morning around 5 I saw a cat in my room which was odd since my cats don't come downstairs. I got up to check on her and there was nothing there. I can't be adding random visual hallucinations to the mix. Seeing one when the voices yell is enough. I don't need to be seeing them when all is quiet.
Does that sound like a visual hallucination to you? Or maybe just a sleepy mistake? She was so damn real.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I've been updating my wordpress blog by pasting the past into it from my posts on here.

Sorry everyone for having to read all that stupid bull **** in 2015. That's not me. It's not me at all.

I'm so calm.

If I stay on my meds, I don't think I'll ever get psychosis again.

Could be hypnogogic hallucinations @ ofthevalley =] They are more prominent when you have psychosis as well in my experience.

They can be pretty intense hallucinations..

So many appointments coming up. See my psych NP tomorrow, shot Thursday, counselor Friday, Dentist next Tuesday then Nutritionist the day after that.

Really need to clean my apartment. May do that or attempt to today. I don't really have any cleaning supplies but I can manage just have to motivate myself.

Played my violin in group today, was a little less nervous than I usually am.

Can't wait till Autumn when the weather cools off. Its HOT!

Oh I've been there, right down to being called a psychopath to my face lol. My doctor at the time also took it back but still!

I don't have much empathy myself. I'm not incapable of it, but I do seem to have far less of it than average. But God help me when I do feel it because holy ****ing HELL.

I had a rough childhood, I suspect that's why my capacity for empathy and other things are pretty diminished. I have a lot of "cognitive empathy" though so that tends to help me have friends and ****, hahaha.

I slept like utter **** last night. I think it's my lot in life to be a professional insomniac.

I'm doing pretty well other than not sleeping enough. I'm down to only two cigarettes a day maximum so go me! Lol.

Violin is such a beautiful instrument. I play the piano and I've always wanted to play with a violinist, that would be such a gloriously beautiful sound.

How is everyone doing? Hope you're all well. Boyfriend has been moved in for a week now, there have been a couple of ups and downs but mostly we're doing really well. I may have to change pdocs my doctor moved her practice so I'm probably going to have to take a cab for this visit because I don't even have my car right now but can barely drive anyway. It's going to be costly but I need some time to find a new doc.

I'm super bored at work right now and I have like an hour left---my boss is out of town so more or less everyone is skipping out. I left early yesterday but feel to guilty to skip out again today. My mom was asking me what I'm going to do next year when I lose my job and I just don't know---I would really like to retrain---I'm thinking computer science...but its a big field and I don't know what I really want to do when I get out or if I even need a real degree....boyfriend is in IT but without a comp science degree and he gets along well. it would be nice to just take off 6 months to a year and just learn on my own but I'm not sure how practical it is....

On the plus side no signs of psychosis and I have to say my anxiety is way less being in a stable relationship---it's pretty nice